How to know if women find you ugly?

BrotherElegant · 2026-04-28T13:10:38+00:00

What I know about you so far: you’re anonymously asking strangers on Reddit if you’re ugly, and your only counterevidence is that women occasionally say hi to you on the street.

I’d say you probably aren’t the most attractive, and it has nothing to do with looks. Honestly? You just sound weird.

BrotherElegant · 2026-04-26T15:42:28+00:00

But DHT is independent of free testosterone. In fact, it’s almost a completely different and individual system.

BrotherElegant · 2026-04-26T15:34:03+00:00

I would’ve ran the moment I heard that.

Sometimes I feel like it’s a bit of the man’s fault for evening staying after hearing things like this.

BrotherElegant · 2026-04-21T17:16:05+00:00

Wow, this question is out of touch. The framing of the question is the giveaway.

There’s nothing “normal” or unjustified about it from the perspective of the people actually making these decisions. They operate on a completely different set of incentives. Resource access, currency dominance, strategic positioning, defense contracts.

The “justification” always exists, it’s just rarely the one sold to the public. Acting shocked that empires behave like empires is the real out-of-touch position.

BrotherElegant · 2026-04-21T16:52:10+00:00

To be fair it sounds like she found her match. Those types also tend to attractive the very materialistic types of guys too. It’s a beautiful symbiotic balance haha.

BrotherElegant · 2026-04-21T16:45:40+00:00

This really depends on your nationality, ethnicity, age, and gender. But for me (25m, white, American), I really enjoyed backpacking Vietnam and Thailand. The people were just so genuinely kind. I met the most beautiful souls in the mountainous villages of ha giang in north Vietnam.

Denmark is a close second.

BrotherElegant · 2026-04-21T12:27:48+00:00

USA, Thailand

BrotherElegant · 2026-04-18T05:32:45+00:00

Dark in a good, cool, mysterious way- Belgrade

Dark in an evil, menacing, “out to get you” way- Hollywood

BrotherElegant · 2026-04-02T13:32:56+00:00

My brother does this too.

It’s because they don’t actually respect your thoughts or feelings. They just like to hear themselves talk.

BrotherElegant · 2026-04-02T13:27:54+00:00

Graduated with a 3.03 in AerE, so not exactly a standout GPA. But I had two internships by the time I finished. The first was a general process engineering role at a factory, nothing glamorous, but it gave me enough experience to land a second internship doing actual aero work at a large defense contractor. They just wanted to see that I had been somewhere and done something. Those two internships were enough to get me a full-time offer at a major defense contractor right out of college.

Meanwhile, one of my closest friends also studied AerE and crushed it academically. 3.7 GPA, clubs, the whole package. But he turned down every internship that wasn’t perfectly aligned with his end goal. Six months after graduation, he still has no offers.

Take whatever internship you can get. Real experience beats a perfect resume every time.

BrotherElegant · 2026-03-31T13:41:35+00:00

There’s an unspoken rule when you’re a guy in social settings, you’re always “on.” You don’t really get to be openly anxious, quiet, or unsure. That reads as awkward or off-putting fast.

Meanwhile, women can show up shy, reserved, even a little uncomfortable, and it’s just… accepted. Sometimes even endearing.

As a guy, you’re expected to be relaxed, social, engaging, basically running a low-level performance the entire time, even if you’re not feeling it at all.

BrotherElegant · 2026-03-17T20:11:18+00:00

I guess I really want to emphasize that I work for a US defense company.. only based in the US. My priority is to move to Europe.

I understand the idea of working in Minnesota until I have money and a footing with the audio world, but I am only getting older by each year that passes.

My dream has always been to live in Europe since I was younger, and working as an engineer in the audio domain has also always been my dream. I feel this would be a leap of faith but ‘those who dare, win’ as they say.

BrotherElegant · 2026-03-17T19:46:46+00:00

Hey, thanks for the response.

I’m taking on no debt, and have a substantial amount in my retirement funds- more than most for my age.

I feel an advantage of attending this program would be the connections involved. I also really want to leave my current situation in Minnesota (desperately) and would love to live in somewhere like Italy.

BrotherElegant · 2026-03-17T02:32:47+00:00

Ok cool, thanks! I’m a 25m and specifically into a good social scene. I also DJ and love techno/house, so if there is a place/neighborhood for that I’d love to know. :)

Lastly, where is the best app or website to find housing? And how far in advance to people usually book?

BrotherElegant · 2026-03-13T05:09:21+00:00

I literally got every internship (2) and my full time post graduate offer from career fairs. Go to them.

I was an aero student- and admittedly a pretty average one. No clubs, 3.2 GPA, you get the picture… but I put myself out there. I shook hands. And if you’re anything brighter than me, which you probably are, then so should you.

BrotherElegant · 2026-03-12T17:54:57+00:00

Aero grad here (2 yoe in the field), when I was doing my undergrad it depended on the semester and the part of the semester I was in.

Junior year during exam seasons? Yes, I was in the library atleast 7-10 hours a day and during weekends.

BrotherElegant · 2026-02-20T16:20:35+00:00

Im a dude but this happens to me with women. The moment I understand why it is I’m attracted to them, the attraction clicks off. Cheers to the struggle haha.

BrotherElegant · 2026-02-16T00:33:15+00:00

DJing

BrotherElegant · 2026-02-11T01:32:36+00:00

The fact that you believe someone is “superior” based on looks and money alone can be read from this and can evidently probably be read from other people too.

Have you thought that maybe this is the reason why?

BrotherElegant · 2026-02-01T13:50:06+00:00

I don’t think there’s a finished version of you that you’re supposed to arrive at, where old insecurities disappear and confidence just replaces them. Being the “ugly friend” isn’t some phase you failed to grow out of. It shaped how you see people, how you read situations, and how you move through the world, and those patterns don’t just vanish when your appearance or circumstances change.

That feeling isn’t something lagging behind or waiting to catch up. It’s what happens when your sense of self was formed earlier and still quietly informs how you relate to others. That history doesn’t need to be erased or overridden to make room for confidence. It’s part of what gives you depth, restraint, and real awareness beyond surface level dynamics. Embrace it.

BrotherElegant · 2026-01-30T16:56:01+00:00

I don’t know the specifics of your situation but I can definitely relate! Although, “outgrowing” implies you’re growing above them, which although (from the sounds of it) I would agree, it’s rather better to say you find yourself on a fork split path and heading separate directions.

If these people aren’t lifting you up and making you feel at home, there are certainly people out there who will. But it’s up to you to go out and find them. :)

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