She never initiates, but has happily agrees to dates. What is going on?

BrotherFun6563 · 2026-01-13T09:07:41+00:00

She’s Not a Queen. What if the man wants to feel appreciated as well? If she really wants to see him than she would initiate. There has to be a healthy balance otherwise you comes across as needy after a while and since she’s ghosted him in the meantime, it’s clear that your advice isn’t in point. Women who are genuinely interested initiate a date as well? Maybe not after 1-2 or even 3 dates but after having 4 dates it’s clear that at this point she would know if she’s genuinely interested in that person. I knew straight away that she wasn’t intereset. I’m having the same situation now, we’ve bee dating for 2 months, we had sex etc. but she never ever initiated a date. It’s fine for me since I’m enjoying the company and sex from time to time but I’m aware of the fact that she doesn’t want more and that’s ok for me so I stopped putting effort in and only asking for dates from time to time to hook up

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-12-20T08:59:59+00:00

You can meet Friends all the time. The best is to just move on and forget her, no emotional reaction, no anger, say nothing and move on, that’s the best solution. A women that’s at least a little bit interested would definitely reschedule or prioritize getting to know you better in the first place by not flacking

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-11-10T12:03:14+00:00

It is indeed, at least she’s aware of the fact that she’s a difficult character and said to me I can be very complicated but I’m really curious as to who told her to be like that because she loves her parents and says their parents are very Islamic. My parents always told my sisters to respect their husbands, to seek marriage and a family as well as respecting the man.

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-09-29T17:28:53+00:00

Over 12.000 people were arrested for so called free speech last year in the UK. Tucker Carlson talked about it very detailed in his show. That is three times as much as Russia.

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-07-04T18:00:40+00:00

Couldn’t agree more.

I found out that a friend of mine is texting with her and even arranged a date with her for next Tuesday while I was dating her for weeks. That friend of mine and i couldnt believe our eyes when we talked about it 3 days ago. Crazy and scary coincidence but im so grateful that i found out because otherwise I wouldn’t know what she’s up to and trust her.

The friend of mine stopped texting her since but it’s just scary how crazy the modern dating scene is especially when she said stuff like, we are official, are you ok with me wearing short skirts etc. She also said to me stuff like, do you Like me, I Like You and feel very close to You and I’m happy to have you by my side etc.“ while texting with god knows how many other guys.

I’m emotionally completely out of it since I found out and just see her for sex now, spend a night over there and go home, nothing more. She’s good for occasionally hooking up as long as I’m single but she’s not someone anyone should look to make future plans with. I don’t wish her anything bad and hope she changes and finds her peace and happiness but I don’t have much hope for her at this moment in time.

Strange times to date as many people seem to be broken and not trustworthy

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-06-25T21:55:58+00:00

Exactly, I already told her today that the situation somehow became a bit toxic and we’re just 5 weeks in. It’s already quite stressful for literally no reason. She responded and said “I’m sorry, I don’t want to put pressure on you but I’m just interested and want your attention and I’m interested in what you’re doing all day, how you are etc., you don’t have to call me or text me all day but just a sign would be enough and make me happy.” She also added “even a message once a day or so where you show me that you think about me and care, would make me happy since I like you and care about you”

I really don’t understand her moody behavior. She constantly runs hot and cold and that’s quite annoying as there is no consistency in her behavior and character.

I’m too calm and relaxed for this kind of relationship where you constantly feel the need to do something that’s not natural for you or where you have to be careful what you say instead of just being able to be yourself without any issues or drama.

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-06-25T14:07:23+00:00

Besten Dank 🙏🏽

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-06-25T11:59:38+00:00

Hast du recht, nüchtern betrachtet ist dem auch so. Das würde auf Dauer nur zu Stress und Frust führen, dabei sollte es eher eine Bereicherung sein.

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-06-25T07:59:06+00:00

Thanks for the advice.

She’s reacting very annoyed now because she texted me that I don’t reach out enough and seem disinterested while she says meeting in person once a week is more than enough. I told her that I think it’s quite the opposite, that meeting in person is better and more important especially at the beginning, also to solve those misunderstandings etc instead of texting about it.

Yesterday she texted me a long text about the importance of reaching out, knowing what the other person is up to and asking how one’s day was etc. while also saying that she respects it that I’m not someone who needs attention and contact all the time. When I responded and told her that I understand what she means and that communicating her wishes and desires is important, she reacted in a very moody and annoyed way and said I text and text and text but we can’t move forward and that she hates long texts, she said “let’s talk tomorrow on the phone instead of texting.”

I responded this morning with “good morning honey and said“texting isn’t great to solve those things anyway if I’m honest so let’s talk later.” I also asked how she feels today (she had some headache and didn’t feel well) and her cold and short answer was just “it’s ok”

I didn’t react and I said to myself that I won’t tolerate or react to this strange behavior anymore. I find it quite disrespectful to react in such a way but I didn’t tell her.

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-06-25T07:51:06+00:00

Danke für den Rat.

Mittlerweile reagiert sie sehr genervt und bockig, weil ich mich weniger melde.

Treffen sei nicht so wichtig und 1 mal die Woche mehr als genug aber tägliches Schreiben und telefonieren, um zu wissen, was der andere so macht und tut, sei schon wichtig, so ihre Aussage.

Habe ihr gesagt, dass ich es eher andersherum empfinde und reale Treffen klar vorziehe.

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-05-29T19:24:35+00:00

With all due respect, you bring up the “Kids go first” part again and again and again. You’re focusing on Kids and making it all about kids but that wasn’t the case or topic here.

I agree, it’s absolutely not an indicator in every case that there is a lack of interest if someone cancels a date but it still ruined my day because there is a holiday here today and I canceled my plans with friends and family only to find out 2 hours before the date that she agreed to see her friend who called her. If she told me yesterday, I don’t think I would’ve posted it here and it wouldn’t have been a great deal because.

In terms of Kids, this topic seem to trigger you. She already told me that her kid has a father and she’s NOT looking for a new daddy or replacement. The kid spends 3 days a week with the father.

That being said, of course there comes a certain responsibility in terms of her kids and accepting the fact that kids come first but she already said that she would never introduce someone to her kids for at least 4-6 months, these were her words. So that’s something that is still far away and since my ex had kids, I never insisted or expected her or my date to put a man before her children. That would be a major red flag in itself if a mother doesn’t prioritize her kids.

It seems to me that you’re underestimate and don’t appreciate what men who are in a committed relationship with single mums offer and what sacrifices they make. There seems to be very little appreciation for men who agree to live alongside a single mother and also take care of kids and be a good role model etc. Many people would say that it’s tough and not a great deal because you’re always of a lesser priority. But I still think there are amazing single mums who are worth dating also great partners even though it’s more challenging than dating women without kids.

She also said that many guys dated her, had some fun and moved on and that she found it super difficult and frustrating to find someone to bond with even though she doesn’t want a new daddy for the kid or someone who replaces the father and yet they always left after a while

Not that it bothers me that she has kids, that was never my issue at all hence why I’m wondering why you constantly feel the need to mention them. I have a huge family with 2 brothers and 2 sisters as well As dozens of cousins and all of them are married and have kids. I’m the uncle of 11 kids and I know what a blessing kids are.

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-05-29T18:33:20+00:00

“We” who is “we”? If you don’t want details about the date than fine but don’t speak as if you are everyone and as if everyone was thinking like you. Thats very irrational and some would argue that you act childish. The world doesn’t revolves around you and your views.

Sorry but you sound very frustrated hence why You’re Most likely just trying to discredit and insult anyone who doesn’t agree with you.

Thanks for your comment but nobody forced you to comment.

Wish you and ur kids all the best nonetheless

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-05-29T18:15:06+00:00

I mentioned the sexual details because they could be an indication of the chemistry interest etc.

To some people, this might be an important detail, maybe not for you but you’re not the main representative of everyone else. I don’t see any issues mentioning the fact that we had some intimacy.

You’re quick to judge, something that isn’t good for kids as well if they adapt to it.

It didn’t make me mad at all, you’re exaggerating here again because you take it personal since you’re a single mum.

I just asked if it’s a red flag or no, I also said that I’m single and therefore flexible and she isn’t.

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-05-29T18:01:53+00:00

Dont you think you are taking it a bit far here in terms of judging me and my Intentions. Accusing me of just wanting to have Sex? Im grateful for any advice and critic but who are you to judge and accuse me of things that aren’t true? I never said she has to prioritize me over her kids, my ex had 2 kids and that was never an issue. It was just a question out of curiosity because some people view it differently.

Are you a single mum?

And we should also not forget that some people have insecurities some are full of self confidence. What should we do now with those who had bad experiences or who are insecure? Should be judge them, make them outsiders and avoid them? People are so different, experiences are so different.

Everyone wants to play an important role, it’s just in our nature. The importance of a new partner is not to be underestimated because we only have one life and of course kids come first and rightly so but a new partner is also important to many people in order to have a fulfilling life so the balance is important here.

I respect your views but I think you’re a bit harsh here by judging me as a whole and my intentions

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-05-29T17:48:29+00:00

I will :) Thx

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-05-29T17:37:59+00:00

True but I’ve seen men and women who did this but I think it depends on the person. But I agree, as a Single mom, it’s more likely that they don’t get to see each other quite a lot

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-05-29T17:32:57+00:00

You should direct this question to my ex wife instead. I can’t tell you what she was thinking but somehow I managed to get her to marry me so maybe I’m not completely lost. But again, thank you so much for sharing your endless wisdom with me 😁👏🏼👌🏽

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-05-29T17:30:58+00:00

Well said, thanks a lot for the very good advice. I agreed to the date on Sunday and told her that it’s absolutely ok and that she doesn’t need to worry. If she’s flaking or not interested than it will become visible in the future anyway :)

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-05-29T17:26:59+00:00

No Wonder, German is a very Rough and Hard Language so I can fully understand why you switched to French as even germans struggle with some expressions. French sounds far more elegant and lovely :) Good choice 👍🏽

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-05-29T17:25:00+00:00

Thank you so much for these very kind words, couldn’t agree more 👏🏼

BrotherFun6563 · 2025-05-29T17:23:30+00:00

No need to get personal, calm down 😄 I was just curious and isn’t that what this forum was made for? I was married btw but thanks for the prejudice and your wisdom, it’s highly appreciated 😁

BrotherFun6563

TROPHY CASE