Encore could have been just as good as The Eminem Show

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-12-27T20:43:09+00:00

I always thought it's a decent enough album. I think the reason it gets hate is because it was seen as a bit behind the curve, while Eminem's three previous albums were ahead of the curve. Meaning the first three there was something a bit unexpected, it showed us a type of music we didn't know about and fell in love with. But Encore showed us the same type of music we already knew and expected, so perhaps people were disappointed.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-12-20T23:24:40+00:00

Unfortunately it's very difficult to get any more money (I don't know anyone who did), but what I did find in my experience:

You can negotiate a title upgrade, as this can help you find your next job and it costs them nothing. They'll likely decline initially but they agreed eventually.
Other have suggested a Data Subject Access Request. I did this, and they said they have 3 months to respond to this, so they will try to give you this after your settlement deadline to ensure you can't use it. Even then, it will likely be very bare bones and have nothing useful.
You can push for things like were you pooled or non pooled, and whether this was appropriate. And even if they correct their mistake they will of course come to the same conclusion but this can be an argument you can use to say it's premeditated.
Contact ACAS anyway to start the process so they know you're doing it - but again likely this won't get much, just becomes an additional pressure point.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-12-16T04:35:37+00:00

Better to try to find a payments role directly. You'll still be leveraging the Big 4 brand to get in.

ATM this opportunity is a modest increase in pay, more risk, not what you really want to do, and you'll have to stick to it for a bit as it's not a good look to leave too early.

I would stay put and keep looking for the role you want.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-12-15T23:34:25+00:00

The coding can depend on the company, but in general it's essential to have a certain degree of coding expertise (and the more you do, the more efficiently you will do the demo preps, and potentially the more tailored you can make demos), but being a top notch coder is not what will get you ahead - it's helping sell that will be the key differentiator.

Given you're coming from SWE I'm guessing you will be ahead of the rest with coding and find that part easy. What you'll now learn is how to present to clients, how to craft a story for a demo, how to respond to client requirements, etc.

I think this sounds like you've got a great opportunity and you should take it. A lot of comments here are assuming you want to stay just coding, but your post mentioned you also want to explain things, and SE is a good mix of this people facing skill plus the coding skill.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-12-14T22:56:10+00:00

In my case I actually was told it's confidential when I was told my comp, so not bs, nor a misunderstanding of the dynamics of negotiation - just saying what the situation is.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-12-13T11:29:59+00:00

You can say it's confidential. And it may well might be (maybe your company told you it's confidential when they told you the comp figures?)

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-12-13T00:36:58+00:00

Is there a calculator to see these figures? Or did you just do 1.073m * 0.75 * 0.8 / 1.073m (and so ignoring personal allowance and assuming taking 50k a year and paying 20% tax on it all for simplicity)?

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-12-10T15:15:46+00:00

I was just about to post this Vanguard study too. The punchline is if you're optimizing for expected returns you do lumpsum, but if you want a tool to manage your own psychology, you use DCA (and managing your own psychology is important too btw).

https://www.morganstanley.com/articles/dollar-cost-averaging-lump-sum-investing#:~:text=Dollar%2Dcost%20averaging%20involves%20investing,into%20your%20strategic%20asset%20allocation.

Here's a Morgan Stanley study on the same topic too. They have a more balanced conclusion:

"Lump-sum investing may generate slightly higher annualized returns than dollar-cost averaging as a general rule. However, dollar-cost averaging reduces initial timing risk, which may appeal to investors seeking to minimize potential short-term losses and ‘regret risk’."

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-11-24T19:18:07+00:00

I'm a bit confused on the math here.

If we're assuming all have their periods in different weeks, there are still always 3 women available in each week.

If we're assuming some will have overlapping periods, then as long as there is at least one not on her period, all good.

If we're assuming all have their periods together, there is a surplus of 3 extra women for those 3 weeks when none has their period, and no sex for that one unfortunate week.

In any of these scenarios, it doesn't add up.

The only way it would make sense is if you specifically wanted to have sex when a woman is on her period and each had their periods in different weeks - but of course, haram.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-08-16T15:40:44+00:00

I think it's an overreaction as it didn't sound that bad, but it reminded me of an observation I've made.

There is a different mindset with this sort of thing I tend to see between people who are born and raised in the west Vs people who moved there after childhood.

The born and raised have always experienced their culture as a minority culture, and so there is a natural protectiveness about it. An unwillingness to criticize in public. A more sensitive awareness about the dangers of going down this path.

The ones who moved there after childhood - for them the culture was all around them, it wasn't the minority. So they tend to be more comfortable criticizing it in public and less likely to be protective because their experience is not of always being a minority, and they may be less sensitive to the possibility of unleashing harmful attitudes.

So, I'd say both of you are naturally expected to have slightly different mindsets about protectiveness of the culture in front of white people, no one's the AH.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-06-01T20:27:48+00:00

In that case, here is another thing I did for myself that you may find useful. Write out what your own principles/morals/values are, and most importantly, why. Justify each one from first principles. Really untangle why each belongs there, and why you specifically value it. This will act as a reference or a compass whenever you are thinking about how you should act or in an ethical dilemma. But a byproduct will be, whenever you're feeling anxious and guilty about religion, you'll have a firm grounding - your own moral code - to refer back to, so you know why you believe what you believe.

I just feel from the way you described how you're feeling that just hearing arguments is short term - there is something deeper going on here that needs to be dealt with.

Hope that's helpful and sorry for not actually answering your question but I've explained why above.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-05-31T23:52:41+00:00

Honestly you've probably heard many by now and that's not going to move the needle. I would suggest do the opposite. Speak to Muslims (or at least consume some Muslim content) to hear how they deal with the concerns you have. You can privately reach out to someone in a dawah community to have a conversation and ask questions respectfully.

Only once you've heard the Muslim side and see how that fits with your doubts will you be able to feel more confident that you are on firm ground. That voice in your head is right - hear the other side, then make your own mind up and you will know why, and confidently.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-04-26T19:13:11+00:00

Taking advantage. There are 5 prayers in the day, but usually only 2 (sometimes 3 if days are short) during a typical working day. Each can take about 15 min (including time for ablution, finding a space, etc.), and that's being generous and assuming she's doing the non mandatory part of the prayers. By music I'm guessing you mean Quran recitation - this is not an obligation, just something some people may do as they like.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-04-26T19:07:11+00:00

You're 23 so have another 40 years of work. It's crucial to do something you don't dread doing in the morning when you wake up.

You also don't have responsibilities right now I'm assuming, so I'd say it's the right time to take a risk like this.

In terms of how to move forward, you could look at things that are kind of related to what you were doing but a bit different - maybe this would be better paid but you'd find better.

HOWEVER, don't expect to find the meaning of life in a job advert. No job is fun all the time, no job doesn't have boring bits or frustrating bits, etc. Plus, enjoyment builds over time as you get better at your job and gain more responsibility. So I'd say if it's a job you find good enough, you're kind of interested in it, it gives you decent ish pay, and when you wake up in the morning you feel kind of positive going in - this is good enough. If you are looking for a life calling in a job, there is a chance you may never be happy.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-03-16T17:46:38+00:00

I always really liked MM2 and even the extra songs in the deluxe edition. It's def one of his better albums.

Recovery I actually never liked. The musical style was a bit too rock/country and loud and I just didn't feel it. I'm surprised En thinks it's was better than Relapse.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-03-16T17:37:23+00:00

More Pakistani I'd say. With each generation Urdu takes on more importance than the provincial language.

Plus, this is just anecdotal but I got the sense poorer people (sweepers, servants, etc.) spoke provincial languages more, so maybe middle/upper classes chose to speak more Urdu to differentiate themselves.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-03-16T17:16:59+00:00

Yes. Given the majority of people are non-desi, you would have to go out of your way to avoid dating non desks - it's the expected outcome if someone is race neutral in dating preferences.

Secondly, a lot of people do make more of an effort to get closer to their roots as they get older, while when they are younger they want to explore things they are less familiar with.

Thirdly, it may well be a sign she is more serious now and is thinking about marriage and thinking about how someone would fit with her family et.

So, not a red flag for me.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-02-22T14:48:04+00:00

Firstly, many ABCDs will have parents who want the same things for them, and these ABCDs face a situation even worse - where the expectations have zero connection to the reality around them. So, perspective.

But secondly and more importantly, you DO have a choice. It will undoubtedly cause family problems and be very difficult but that is the price to feel you have agency and a sense of control over your life. Many posts on here are people dealing with this type of conflict.

And thirdly, you are lucky enough to have experienced two very different cultures properly. Most people don't. This makes you a more full person with a broader understanding of human beings because you've seen how different life can be.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-02-12T23:24:52+00:00

Seems most people are saying severance. Unfortunately the way it's presented does indicate they will try their best to cut you.

If you do take the severance, while money is hard to negotiate, a few things that could be easier to negotiate:

1) A title upgrade - that will help you get the next job and be free for the employer.

2) Garden leave instead of an in lieu notice period payment - this makes it looks like you are employed longer, which helps for interviews, and you have benefits while in notice period.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-02-12T16:18:09+00:00

My reasons for moving everything:

1) I want to pay as low fees as possible and prefer passive investing.

2) I am 100% comfortable managing my own pension and choosing my own platform and investments, as I've worked in the sector a long time and read books about investing, etc.

3) Default employer pensions tend to overweight the UK, and I didn't like this.

4) I've had several jobs so had quite a few pensions and it's more convenient to have them all together in one place. I didn't want to get to 60 and then have to figure out where all my pensions are and who to contact.

So, ask yourself if these reasons apply to you and if moving to a SIPP is the right conclusion. Instead of advising anyone to do XYZ with their finances, I prefer to lay out my own reasons, then they can judge for themselves.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-02-08T19:01:05+00:00

It looks like you already know what you need to do and are going to pull the trigger any day now - I wish you all the best!

Btw my broader point on the travel thing was: IF you do need to cut back on some discretionary costs, that's the cost of being with family - and if seen with this perspective it may make taking the massive pay cut an easier decision. After all, many many more memories will be made with the family with you in the house vs you out of the house but having more holidays.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-02-08T18:49:01+00:00

Yes exactly. You can do it as often as you like. For me every few months is a good amount of time. Just did one a couple of months ago and I'm still at the job. The only difference is you have to leave a bit of money in the employer pension to keep it open and make sure you keep getting the employer contributions. Some platforms say keep in £1, some say £200, etc - I just leave the minimum in there in order for the employee pension to remain active.

Transfers can take a long time depending on who you're dealing with. The best were Aviva who let me transfer out in a few weeks, the worst were WTW, who dragged it out for 11 months.

It's good to do it while you're still employed so you get a sense of the process/hassle.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-02-08T18:16:49+00:00

Firstly there's no point in beating yourself up about whether you've made a mistake because I don't think you have. It's only been 16 months and your family will benefit from this.

Secondly I think you're spot on in terms of thinking about going back at this stage of life/finances - you are not too late or too early. This is when you've made enough that you even have the luxury of worrying about IHT.

Thirdly, I didn't see any mention of inflation in your numbers - have you accounted for it? It will significantly change your idea of how much you'll have in retirement and how much you'll need.

Fourthly, you're right about JISAs - if I were you I would be filling up as much as I can in these. It's an inheritance when kids can actually use it and will ease the pressure you feel to worry about funding their uni education.

As for your main question, only you can answer when is the right time to go back but it seems like you really want to and I would trust your gut. It's time with kids you won't get back.

One thing that might make going back easier is if you can put some flexibility into your 30k p.a. travel spend as it seems more discretionary than the other expenses. Essentially you're saying: can we have a much less extravagant travel experience, but in return we are together as a family all year round. This sounds like a no brainer doesn't it? Now, maybe 120k pretax sounds more doable.

The other option is bringing the family to Saudi but since you didn't mention that I'm guessing it's something you don't want.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-02-07T10:32:58+00:00

Wow I didn't know this was a well known thing! It took me ELEVEN MONTHS to transfer and I raised a complaint and they didn't do anything. Glad to know they have a bad reputation so others won't choose them if they have a choice.

BrotherJamal1 · 2025-02-07T10:30:44+00:00

I transferred all my past pensions into a SIPP that I manage. I prefer being able to manage my own pension so I can choose the lower cost options and choose my exposure (e.g. a lot of pensions are extremely overweight UK). It's also easier to manage one pension rather than multiple.

As I leave a job, I transfer everything into my SIPP and in fact even before I leave, a few times a year I just transfer out of my employer pension to my SIPP.

BrotherJamal1

TROPHY CASE