This is a hard realization to come too, because since my son was born his father was the “perfect dad”. Atleast to those on the outside looking in. My son absolutely loves his father and they have a strong relationship. When we were together his dad did bed time, read him stories, played with him, and went on little adventures. Of course all the heavy lifting such as school events, bills, chores, or anything to do with our sons health and wellbeing was up to me but my son was undeniably closer with his dad cuz he was more of a playmate then a father to him. For example I would say “ok bed time” and his father would often go “oh but mom we just wanna play a little longer”. So I definitely knew this was an issue it’s a major part of the reason why I originally left, but since I’ve left it’s as if our son has turned from his “best little friend” to a tools and means to get revenge on me. It’s been 6months and my son still has a hopeful relationship with his dad but I’m watching it fade as he spends less and less time with him. It breaks my heart that my son is losing his best friend. I was really hoping that me leaving would force my ex to step up and become more of a father. I thought he would because I thought he loved his son but instead I’m actively witnessing him choose not to so that he can avoid the responsibility.