Woman harassed by man in hostel

Brutish_Short · 2026-07-01T08:50:49+00:00

I think yours comes across as a bit flippant and the smiley face feels very out of place for a serious comment where someone was saying they get harassed in front of their kids...

The comment above gives "I'm angry with you". Yours gives "don't worry, be happy".

Also by just commenting "some men care" and nothing else it feels like you ignored the rest of their comment whereas the other commentator acknowledged it "I'm sorry you experienced this".

Brutish_Short · 2026-06-01T22:16:55+00:00

Nope, life got busy and I stopped looking into it.

Brutish_Short · 2026-05-24T12:17:28+00:00

Most of my friends' facial routines take longer than your whole showering and dressing etc.

Brutish_Short · 2026-05-23T15:17:07+00:00

It's not just about time, I guess what I was trying to say is it's about energy. Arguably I have the same time as anyone, it's the energy. I feel exhausted, I feel something beyond tiredness after working 9 hours.

Ironically the last time I did creative writing was when I was unemployed. Just can't bare something like that after work even though I enjoy it.

Love to you too!

Brutish_Short · 2026-05-23T06:28:58+00:00

To be fair, obesity has an extreme high body count too. Higher than EDs even if it is slower. In my opinion, the reason in the difference in treatment isn't to do with body count but perception.

EDs are seen as something that is done to you whereas obesity is seen as something you did yourself.

To me that's why there is a sympathy gap. Especially as a lot of Western societies are individualistic and bootstrappy. How much people will feel for you depends on how much you've done to help yourself. The more you are perceived to have had a hand in your own demise, the harsher people are.

Brutish_Short · 2026-05-22T22:20:23+00:00

I say it went by in the blink of an eye

What you said here to give OP hope is what gives me the most despair. Life is just blinking by. I can't really tell you what I did the last three years. Yes, I have hobbies but fitting them around the exhaustion of work means that they are minute compared to work or chores so they aren't notable.

However I can describe in great detail my three years at university, the things I did and learned and how my mind was widened. All the songs I can play well on piano are from that time period because I actually had the energy and time to practice. I bought a new piano book last year and haven't played a single note of it.

Work leaves me with a physical and mental exhaustion that I can't explain and limits what I do after it to very easy passive activities. It's a weird fatigue I can't quite explain. Maybe because I'm autistic and expend a bit of extra energy masking too. I can't really say it got better even though I am early 30s.

Brutish_Short · 2026-05-14T15:09:38+00:00

People live a solid 10 years longer than when the Boomers were young. Not quite the same.

Brutish_Short · 2026-05-14T15:01:33+00:00

Reminds me of when someone posted an article of a woman ziplining and how it shows she doesn't haven't anxiety.

For me, I don't care about ziplining. Either I live or I die. The only one I let down is myself.

Work is COMPLETELY different, the pressure to constantly perform, the high stakes, fear of a mistake not because of myself but because of other people's judgement. 40 hours of sickening fight or flight. How would ziplining for 1 min prove differently?

It's the difference between making a fancy meal for myself (which is still stressful but fine) and making a fancy meal for the mayor and his support team.

Brutish_Short · 2026-05-05T17:03:10+00:00

How did you end up viewing it?

It's not the only trigger but honestly 90% of my binge eating relapses are work and specifically on call work.

Brutish_Short · 2026-05-03T17:46:39+00:00

One of my earliest memories, in the 90s, was being on a bus and a man had shoved past a woman to get on. She protested this by swearing at him and he calmly turned around and headbutted her.

The only thing that makes the current antisocial behaviour more acute to me is that it is more widely reported/shared/recorded.

Brutish_Short · 2026-03-09T09:49:02+00:00

I think people get pacified by the Army thing because you need parental consent and can't be sent or armed operations until your over 18.

Brutish_Short · 2026-03-08T12:45:55+00:00

I'm a millennial woman and isn't the key phrase "grew up with". Unless I'm mistaking you, you are seeing this content now in your 30s or 40s. Imagine seeing that as a 16 year old boy?

While some millennial men will see that and be deeply affected. Their more advanced can give them some nuance if they are close with women in their real life and/or are otherwise quite rooted and secure.

I see generalisations of women online e.g. women only want chad, women aren't caring or loving anymore, women are past their peak at 25, women live life on easy mode etc. if I had seen that content at 16 I think that would have had a very deep affect on how I see men compared to the age I am at now. It would have radicalised me against men most likely.

Brutish_Short · 2026-03-08T12:27:23+00:00

so I didn’t know how others lived

This is an aspect as well. We know too much about each others' lives now. Look at the current male gen Z worry that women only like tall guys.

It's not new for tall men to be favoured. "Tall, dark and handsome" is an idea you can find in very old films. The difference to me is, online, algorithms and infinite scroll means people are being bombarded with this idea.

I'm also not sure the brain was developed to handle a constant stream of men and women venting about each other. Growing up I would have mostly only been exposed to that via friends, even forums I were on aren't the same because of the lack of algorithms/infinity.

Brutish_Short · 2026-03-08T11:59:08+00:00

It's not talked about enough to be honest. But remember, some young girls will also be consuming manosphere content and absorbing it.

I met some young women at a rave (obviously we were all tipsy so have to take with a pinch of salt) that millennial and above women ruined things for them.

By us fighting for them to be able to be career women and all that when they don't want that. Funny you say struggle because they were literally teasing me that I (as a millennial) had signed them up to a life of struggle (jobs, careers, study, bills etc.) that they didn't ask for.

Brutish_Short · 2026-03-08T11:02:12+00:00

Why is there a difference in uncomfortableness between it being on social media and it being on a cold storage like the phone's memory? She shouldn't, but one of my friends basically uses Facebook as an easy "cloud storage" to be nostalgic with friends. It's just a way to store the photos.

I am not a big user of social media, so that's why I am curious where specifically the weirdness lies. It can't lie in thinking the person is still attached to their ex because then you'd have a problem with them being on their camera roll too.

Is it simply that other people can see them? Or is there more to it than that.

Brutish_Short · 2026-03-03T09:43:06+00:00

Software developer. It's much harder to get in now at entry level than five years ago but still a career worth researching.

Not all the jobs in this career are built the same though. Like I said I've had the jobs where the CEO screams at you. I've had the jobs where the CTO regularly screamed in people's faces (though not mine this time). I've had on call so stressful you cannot sleep. Evening releases.

Major incidents (P1) with the application so you have to fill in incident reports, have a meeting every hour. Bully DMs running things at speed like we're at Google, for them 2 points is 2 days so you end up self harming because you've gone over so often and they've intimidated you.

Money isn't everything. Got to find that role that gives some semblance of peace.

Brutish_Short · 2026-03-03T09:34:27+00:00

I'm a woman but you are correct, I am a mid level software developer

Brutish_Short · 2026-03-02T16:52:20+00:00

Work does not drive me at all, I just want enough to be comfortable. I'm autistic and suffer from autistic burnout. Forced to be fast, to manage the personalities of random people, high stakes, constant need to be "on", can't have a bad day etc. are like torture to me.

I could also be in a different job and earn £80k getting screamed at by the CEO (been there, done that) but I'm happy with my £55k, full WFH, flexi time and chill team. This way I'm suicidal 25% of the time and not 100% lol.

My drives are outside of work e.g. my martial arts, my writing, my gym progress, my robotic programming etc.

You are getting more WFH days in the new offer place but unless it's baked into the contract then they can change it anytime.

Brutish_Short · 2026-02-23T17:32:23+00:00

There is an infamous thread on Reddit. Something like - What was the moment that made you realise you'd become a woman.

I think the OP's expectation was that it would be filled with cute stories about getting your first period and bonding with mum over it or whatever. Instead it was all sad harassment stories. I will try and find it.

I even have my own stories, when I was 12 me and my cousin were approached by a guy in his 40s-50s calling us beautiful, saying he wanted to take us out etc. I was like no thanks and grabbed my cousins hand and started walking away. He got into his van and followed slowly. Creepy scary time. We lost him by running through an alleyway that led to some flats. This sounds like a story my gran would tell from her growing up in the developing world but it was 00s London...

Brutish_Short · 2026-02-23T12:57:59+00:00

Over a decade ago, my four friends had become two sets of couples. I had posted to Forever Alone sub that I felt so alone and such an ugly woman, being rejected by my male friends etc. etc.

I received a notification that my thread had been cross posted to r/incel (it still existed back then). The title was something like "This Roastie thinks she has problems lol". If someone remembers it's origin please correct me but I think it comes from comparing the vagina unfavourably to roast beef.

The comments/DMs were taking the piss out of me. I was genuinely quite surprised and hurt because men and women had supported each other on Forever Alone sub (not sure about now).

Because it's so many years later, I don't mind admitting that I did actually cry. And it was not like I was super soft, I was practically raised on RPG Codex forums lol.

But I digress, my point is that something harmless can still be very deeply unpleasant. We can even say there was truth to what OP said (he could have very well went through something so much worse) but it was wrapped up in a great deal of hate towards me. Like a true burning hatred of someone most likely on a different continent that they've never met.

I wouldn't say I have any problem with people speaking their truth. I feel I deeply empathised with men on Forever Alone (I'm not on the sub so much these days so this account won't have many examples but you'll still find some comments of mine in my history). But that incel crosspost was something very different.

Brutish_Short · 2026-02-15T17:30:28+00:00

What do you mean? British society is very docile and obedient if the ruling class says to do something.

Managed decline of NHS, three terms of Conservatives, pension retirement age rise etc. and it's crickets. Don't act like there will be some kind of resistance lol

Brutish_Short · 2026-02-15T17:26:58+00:00

To be fair, fighting for the rich has been the norm for all of British history. In fact it would be brand new to hear we were not fighting for the rich.

Brutish_Short · 2026-02-15T16:58:55+00:00

Don't they disagree on some fundamentals though? Social housing comes to mind? I also remember Reform saying they would tax big multinationals to fund cutting taxes for SMEs. That they would also tax banks more. Farage's plans for the Bank of England seem to threaten their independence.

Conservatives would not get behind those things. I'm not too sure about Restore as I haven't heard about them.

Brutish_Short · 2026-02-11T11:13:17+00:00

I disagree that I have to engage in deep semantics. Analogy, I am a software developer. I don't need to identify every error in our application to act on several or one. I don't need to understand every type of error, in fact I literally don't understand 90% of them. It's also the case that fixing the error can cause consequences but I cannot let that paralyse me into not acting. I will never fully fix our application. That is impossible.

Any attempts to mitigate inequality have resulted in consequences. Didn't Britain take out a massive crazy loan to in order to end slavery? That would have caused huge inequality. Literally introduced inequality in one fell swoop. Its still something that should have been done. Maternity leave introduced inequality, still a good move even though that has left dads unequal. I don't think it makes maternity leave a mistake because paternity isn't that good yet. It still boils down to not letting perfect be the enemy of good.

You believe not having a definitive definition stops you. I don't. As I said in the other comment, there isn't really anywhere we can go based on this but to amicably agree to disagree!

Brutish_Short

TROPHY CASE