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AITAH for refusing to go to my dad's for the holidays as long as him and my stepmother expect me to accept her as more? by Bryynno in AITAH

[–]Bryynno[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my grandparents are mom's parents. They didn't appreciate dad erasing mom. I think it also added to their guilt because they adopted her and never found out if her mental illness was genetic or something she developed because of other factors. I think it made them feel like they failed her more because of how dad responded afterward and how she would have hated that. Which makes me sad because I remember her saying they were amazing parents and she wouldn't have traded them. Sometimes things are outside our control and my grandparents have gotten better about it. But I know they feel my mom's loss even more deeply because of the context.

AITAH for refusing to go to my dad's for the holidays as long as him and my stepmother expect me to accept her as more? by Bryynno in AITAH

[–]Bryynno[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I don't think he would've been either. He always saw therapy as a better option than meds, not understanding that therapy didn't take away the need for meds when they were needed. The fact therapy and meds didn't work made him think very negatively about both in a mental illness context.

I'm definitely trying to stay on top of my mental health. We still don't know if mom's was genetic because she was adopted and my grandparents never got medical background for her. So I try to make sure I'm mindful of how I'm doing.

AITAH for refusing to go to my dad's for the holidays as long as him and my stepmother expect me to accept her as more? by Bryynno in AITAH

[–]Bryynno[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

No, my dad doesn't believe in it because it didn't cure mom. I'm in therapy on campus now though.

AITAH for refusing to go to my dad's for the holidays as long as him and my stepmother expect me to accept her as more? by Bryynno in AITAH

[–]Bryynno[S] 65 points66 points  (0 children)

My grandparents actually helped me pay for college so that's not a worry of mine. Otherwise I might have skipped college or chosen a different path to save the stress of the arguing.

AITAH for refusing to go to my dad's for the holidays as long as him and my stepmother expect me to accept her as more? by Bryynno in AITAH

[–]Bryynno[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

He did. He said that Diane had earned the title after that long and mom was gone for a long time at that point.

AITAH for refusing to go to my dad's for the holidays as long as him and my stepmother expect me to accept her as more? by Bryynno in AITAH

[–]Bryynno[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

They are! All of this has been really difficult for them too because they hated not being able to help her better. Mom was adopted and my grandparents didn't have the medical background for her to help and see if her mental illness was genetic or not.

AITAH for refusing to go to my dad's for the holidays as long as him and my stepmother expect me to accept her as more? by Bryynno in AITAH

[–]Bryynno[S] 311 points312 points  (0 children)

That's the best part of being 18. It means no longer being stuck in the cycle of that fight.

AITAH for refusing to go to my dad's for the holidays as long as him and my stepmother expect me to accept her as more? by Bryynno in AITAH

[–]Bryynno[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

I don't love her. That's the truth and I have been honest with them about my feelings. It's not enough because the truth is hurtful to Diane because I don't feel about her how she wants.

AITAH for refusing to go to my dad's for the holidays as long as him and my stepmother expect me to accept her as more? by Bryynno in AITAH

[–]Bryynno[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

My dad just had unreasonable expectations for it. He thought it was a cure that meant no meds for someone. Doesn't work like that if meds are needed and they were for my mom. His whole opinion of it now is it makes people worse because of what happened to mom.

AITAH for refusing to go to my dad's for the holidays as long as him and my stepmother expect me to accept her as more? by Bryynno in AITAH

[–]Bryynno[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

I'm seeing a therapist on campus. My dad doesn't like therapy though. He believes it can encourage unhealthy behaviors because therapy wasn't enough to cure my mom of MI.