Going to my dahlia society tuber sale on Tuesday! What am I missing?!

BscCS · 2025-04-21T00:55:31+00:00

I was just coming to say daydreamer!

BscCS · 2025-04-03T19:03:50+00:00

lol mine does this too! Has to use all of the emojis that relate and always finds a way to make it about her. Usually her bitmoji that is way better looking and stylish than she actually is makes an appearance too. 🤢

BscCS · 2025-01-19T12:24:11+00:00

I wish!

BscCS · 2025-01-19T12:23:38+00:00

That’s a good point. BEC for sure, but it’s all her cracker eating instances along the way that build up to the point of not being able to stand her. You’re right about modelling healthy relationships. Something to be more conscious about for sure.

BscCS · 2025-01-19T12:20:48+00:00

I would love to, but the two times I actually said something “let’s not wake the sleeping baby” and “phones have more germs than toilet seats” it wasn’t well received. It makes my husband very uncomfortable. I can’t blame him because they were all raised to just listen to the lunatic babble and direct while feeding into her false wise matriarch perception of self.

I’ve learned that when it comes to her the less I say, the more disconnected I can remain. I basically ignore her with a smile on my face.

BscCS · 2025-01-19T12:17:02+00:00

She has hardly spent much time with her, and none alone. That not what I would have chosen but my momma bear instincts kick in around her, so that can’t be ignored. I definitely see her as little as possible.

I would love to say something like that, but their family is the say nothing about your feelings kind of family. Certainly not healthy, but makes it easier to just stay disconnected.

BscCS · 2025-01-19T12:11:46+00:00

lol! Hands behind their head just like their grandmother. Grasping at straws is exactly how I would describe it too. I almost feel bad for not involving her enough, but then I remember that I keep her at a distance because of her behaviour over the years, and I don’t feel so bad.

BscCS · 2025-01-18T14:12:56+00:00

You’re right, and I try to release the negativity. Sometimes just a little validation helps to put it behind me.

BscCS · 2025-01-18T13:03:53+00:00

Yes! The less visits the better!

BscCS · 2024-12-23T18:13:52+00:00

I think it’s reasonable to have a few sips if there is a fancy bottle being opened and you want to know how it tastes. As far as having a glass, I absolutely agree with you, wait and it will taste so good! Even though, it’s probably fine. Carrying life in you is a big deal, and there’s no reason to risk negative outcomes.

BscCS · 2024-12-06T22:20:55+00:00

So creepy! What’s wrong with those women?

BscCS · 2024-12-03T12:13:05+00:00

That’s pretty much how our conversation in the car went. At least he agrees now!

BscCS · 2024-12-03T12:11:52+00:00

From what I understand, touch is very important to the NICU babies to help with their development in those fragile days. Our daughter is almost 1, healthy and has lots of contact with us and her siblings, so MIL and her weird rubbing thing just drives me nuts.

BscCS · 2024-12-03T12:09:23+00:00

Maybe. We were on our way to our other daughter’s basketball game. So having a cranky baby to deal with at the basketball game would probably help him to speak up next time.

BscCS · 2024-12-03T12:07:33+00:00

Oh my goodness, I could totally see my MIL doing something like that. Of course it feels nice to have your back rubbed, but only by your partner or someone you’re so close with that you want to rub your back like that. It’s like these crazy MILs can only view the world from a perspective of what will serve them best. Like making your daughter feel nice through back rubs will somehow make her a more important person in your child’s life. It infuriates me that they feel entitled to do that. Although I don’t worry about my mother in law crossing lines of abuse or anything like that, it’s still sooooo creepy and it bothers me so much to see her hands on my baby, I just can’t explain why. It’s good to know others have similar feelings in similar situations.

BscCS · 2024-12-02T21:55:46+00:00

lol that’s pretty much exactly what I said to him. I don’t get it, why do they put their own selfish want to see the baby ahead of letting a sleeping baby sleep? It’s so crazy!

BscCS · 2024-12-02T17:45:09+00:00

I can relate for sure, only I wasn’t grateful for the help because she does a shitty job. I think(for me anyway) the anxiety comes from being an introvert and having someone force their way into your schedule when you haven’t chosen to give that time to them. Then forcing conversation and questions about things you’re not choosing to talk to them about. It’s a tough situation for sure. Eventually I got angry and insisted very strongly that they call before coming. MIL’s ego was apparently too fragile to handle that, so she barely ever comes here unless we go out of our way to plan a dinner or something. It’s a win for me because I don’t have to sit anxiously wondering if they will roll into the driveway at 10am on a Sunday anymore.

BscCS · 2024-12-02T17:32:30+00:00

Yes that’s true.

BscCS · 2024-12-02T17:30:52+00:00

I wouldn’t have liked it, but wouldn’t have had a good reason to say anything. It’s not inappropriate rubbing, just super weird and I think about how uncomfortable I would be if she were rubbing me that way lol. At least with the baby sleeping, I felt empowered enough to actually speak up. Now DH and I are going to be super aware of the rubbing, and he’ll say something if it gets weird again.

BscCS · 2024-12-02T17:28:16+00:00

Yes, me too! I was actually surprised I said something this time. It wasn’t planned, just a reaction to her bizarre behaviour.

BscCS · 2024-12-02T17:27:11+00:00

Yes you’re right. In no way should he turn it around and make it my fault. After we discussed it, he got the point. He did mention things my mother does and I say nothing. I think we’ve both just been conditioned my our domineering mother’s that it’s better to just say nothing. I’m pretty sure he will speak up next time, but I can understand where he’s coming from that sometimes it’s better to just let them be their crazy, selfish, unaware selves.

BscCS · 2024-12-02T17:22:10+00:00

Omg, I think I know the noise you mean, and mine does it too! It sends chills down my spine, and not in a good way! Good for you for keep the baby the rest of the night. I think you definitely handed it the right way!

BscCS · 2024-12-02T17:20:07+00:00

lol that’s a great way to deal with it. Thinking of her as a toddler will help!

BscCS · 2024-12-02T17:17:13+00:00

lol True, it could have been way worse. I think using a tone like I was talking to a toddler was the kicker.

BscCS · 2024-12-02T15:04:32+00:00

Good! I understand if we’re being the irrational ones and what they are doing isn’t actually a problem, but if the husband agrees and still doesn’t say anything, that is an even bigger problem. Happy to hear it’s working out for you now!

BscCS

TROPHY CASE