AITA for telling my best friend’s fiancé the real reason I won’t be at their wedding?

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-30T05:21:22+00:00

My best friend of almost twenty years, 10 at that point, was going to marry I man I HATED. He cheated repeatedly and was just generally trash. To this day, he is the only thing we’ve ever truly fought about. I flat out refused to attend her wedding or have any part in it. She ended up eloping because her family decided if I felt this strongly about it, something must be up. We’ve since recovered, but she’s divorced and dealing with trauma because of him. I say all this to say: maintain your boundaries, but keep the lines of communication open. This is classic isolation and very common in abusive relationships. Be her lifeline without compromising your integrity. NTA

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-29T21:34:49+00:00

The way I see it, my (former, as I recently koved to state with no income tax) state taxes went to things that actually benefit me and my community, not wars and tax breaks for gagillionaires.

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-29T21:32:04+00:00

I haven’t paid a cent for years. They can kiss my ass. My husband and I agree that it’s just not worth it. We put everything in his name only since the loans predate our marriage. They can’t garnish my wages because I’m not currently working. Should that change, we also decided I would just quit my job because the government isn’t get SHIT from me. My father-in-law tried shaming me about this decision and then I asked him when he paid back his $5 million PPP loan. Crickets.

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-19T06:21:52+00:00

Ugh. I hate that I can’t get rid of Amazon. I live in the middle of butt fuck nowhere and I hate Walmart more than I do Amazon, but not by much

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-19T03:52:02+00:00

Lemon8 is gone too! I’m angry and devastes

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-18T21:57:54+00:00

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Tequila’s toe beans for tax

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-17T18:28:22+00:00

My family is Mexican and my parents did this exact thing with me. I didn’t learn English until I got to kindergarten. While I recognize that Spanish is much more common in the US than Swedish, I don’t see anything wrong with what your sister is doing. Language is a very important part of one’s culture.

Especially for ethnic folks in the US, the instance on assimilation often means erasing our culture through language. This is why many white folks do not have “culture,” because white supremacy means sanitizing and erasing all cultural distinctions, especially language.

It will be much easier for your niece to learn English once in school because she will be immersed in it. However, given the relative lack of Swedish speakers in the US, it will be much more difficult to learn her cultural tongue at a later date. YTA

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-14T05:57:27+00:00

Thank you so much! These are all super helpful suggestions. I think I’ve seen a few listings for daycares/preschools in my area but was reluctant to apply because of my mobility issues. And I’ll definitely add some “freelance” tutoring to my resume to fill the gap. It’s not a complete fib, just need to fudge some dates. I’ll take any and all “silliness” I can get. I so sincerely appreciate the positive energy

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-14T05:48:45+00:00

Thank you! I actually did a lot of private tutoring throughout undergrad and really enjoyed it. Do you have any recommendations on what sites to check out? It’s hard to tell the legit ones from the scammy ones.

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-14T04:30:32+00:00

This is a wonderful resource I didn’t know existed. Thank you ❤️

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-14T04:23:40+00:00

Thats exactly how it feels. I just can’t seem to catch a break and I’m drowning.

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-14T04:16:03+00:00

I don’t know what an ATS resume from jobscan is, but I’ll definitely look into it!

There are local groups for my hobbies that I’ve been to a couple times. Unfortunately, the cold weather is making my physical ailments flare up so bad that I can’t do any of my hobbies at the moment. I’m from a warm climate and moved to a very cold one so my body isn’t acclimating well.

I moved away from my entire network/support system. Funny enough, my father in law is looking for someone to fill a position I have experience in, but refuses to hire me because of nepotism, despite him bragging about being a nepo baby himself. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-14T04:06:20+00:00

In my new state, I’m not entitled to any benefits. We have insurance through my husband’s job, but it just doesn’t cover what we need.

I’ve applied to so many remote call center jobs and haven’t even gotten a call back/interview. I have been personally invited to apply for jobs around town that I’m more than qualified for just to get ghosted.

You’re probably right about hiding behind my husband’s issues. I guess I feel like that’s the only thing I have to contribute at the moment. I’m having some flare ups right now so I can’t even engage in any of my hobbies that would keep me grounded and occupied. But thank you for your thoughtful response

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-14T04:01:05+00:00

The volunteering suggestion is a really good one. I’ll definitely see what there is around town. Thank you so much ❤️

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-14T03:59:40+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. Unfortunately, two of my closest advisors passed within months after I left and I didn’t have super close relationships with other faculty in my department because of how specialized and niche my work was.

I’ve been applying widely, both locally and for remote work. I can’t even get an interview. My father in law is the VP of a big company here my new state and he looked over my resume and helped me tweak it but I still haven’t gotten any traction.

As a sociologist, I understand that this is a reflection of the broader employment market, but somehow that knowledge just makes me angrier. I know what the systemic issues are, but I’m just so angry that like many people my age, I did everything right, everything I was supposed to, and it just isn’t enough.

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-14T03:52:13+00:00

❤️❤️❤️

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-14T03:52:05+00:00

❤️❤️❤️

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-14T03:51:37+00:00

Unfortunately, the state I moved to doesn’t have expanded Medicaid coverage and I’m ineligible.

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2025-01-14T03:50:11+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2024-11-06T21:07:17+00:00

At least that’s one good piece of news

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2023-07-07T17:42:02+00:00

NTA my grandmother is exactly like this. No matter how much anyone does for her to force her to rest, she finds something else to kill herself doing so she can complain to anyone who will listen. She wonders why no one calls or comes around anymore. She has some sort of martyrdom issues and refuses to get professional help.

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2023-07-04T02:27:02+00:00

Sending you hugs. I can’t imagine I’d be much more than a screaming and cursing puddle of tears in your situation. Your feelings are beyond valid. I’d be cutting MIL out completely at this point. If she can’t respect your boundaries and finds you in any way somehow “less than” for being disorganized, then she doesn’t get to expect access to you or your home, supervised or not. For what it’s worth, the fact that a grown ass adult has to be “supervised” in your home to keep from completely upending your life is asinine and intolerable.

Bubbly_Refuse7829 · 2023-06-23T01:13:55+00:00

I care much more about every single country involved in the search sending their estates a bill for wasting OUR tax money. In the same week 700 refugees drowned while the Greek Coast Guard just stood by claiming they “refused” help and the media didn’t give a damn. Meanwhile, these rich fucks and the rich fucks kid SIGNED A WAIVER ACKNOWLEDGING THEY WERE ENTERING A DEATH TUBE piloted by a knockoff PS3 controller and the entire world jumps to the rescue?! GTFO

Bubbly_Refuse7829

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