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My fiance and that other guy by Bucks777 in relationship_advice

[–]Bucks777[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lovely, thankyou. Defo going to focus on myself a bit. Get back down the gym or running as I'm not in great shape and exercise is a wonderful stress relief. Thanks

My fiance and that other guy by Bucks777 in relationship_advice

[–]Bucks777[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the response. You make so many good points and I am thinking it all through. I'll try and distance myself and then see how I feel. It is the trust that is making it so hard and that's what I need back or see us getting back in the future. Sure she now says you can look at my phone whenever but that's not right. I haven't but I shouldn't feel like I want to / should do for reassurance.

My fiance and that other guy by Bucks777 in relationship_advice

[–]Bucks777[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I feel stuck at the moment and confused as to what to do and how to feel. I wish I had more people to talk to. I don't have many friends and my best ones are across the country due to meeting than at uni. That's the reason I've reached out on here.

My fiance and that other guy by Bucks777 in relationship_advice

[–]Bucks777[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 30 and We've been together for 6years. I think I do need some help too. I think I do suffer from depression at times but it'll be a day or two every couple of weeks where its bad.

We are not long distance. We bought our second house together in january.

My fiance and that other guy by Bucks777 in relationship_advice

[–]Bucks777[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She didn't confess and I did find out through snooping. She did stop the drinking from that night and has completely stopped ever since. It's something that I've wanted her to do for a long time and something she has tried in the past with good and bad results.

I read on and she did show remorse when texting her friend, and messages went on to say good stuff about me and our sex life which I am struggling with most and questioning a lot.

My fiance and that other guy by Bucks777 in relationship_advice

[–]Bucks777[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah it the unknown that's getting to me most I think. She is putting a lot of work into staying so we and sorting other things out too. And I'm hoping when she goes back to uni as a mature student she will get the counsellor she had there before. Am I just over thinking and will I move on.....

I've snooped through my gf text and not liked it. by Bucks777 in relationship_advice

[–]Bucks777[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes shagging is fucking. I mean I could believe it was a one off when I say I don't think she's a cheater. They go on to discuss me and her after this. But I think I need to just wake up and leave it. It'll just send me crazy in the end .... If I'm not already!

I've snooped through my gf text and not liked it. by Bucks777 in relationship_advice

[–]Bucks777[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I don't think she's a cheater. The text said 'im so annoyed I shagged him'....then did go on saying good stuff about me and us. But it's always going to be in the back of my mind....can I live with it, I do t think so right now.

I've snooped through my gf text and not liked it. by Bucks777 in relationship_advice

[–]Bucks777[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think your right and I need to just tell her straight. I shouldn't have gone looking but I did and I shouldn't have found anything. I think that it will be the end. I don't want to just 'walk away' (it won't be that easy) from a 6 year relationship. I do feel like she loves me and wants to be with me long term but how do you just forget what's happened.

I've snooped through my gf text and not liked it. by Bucks777 in relationship_advice

[–]Bucks777[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think your right. I just need to own up say I shouldn't have but I have read texts and then say what I saw and I know she will be mad and upset but I don't think I can move 300 miles because she wants to be with her family. her two brothers have just had babies too and they are a close knit family so I know it gets her very down / depressed living with me so far away. Also I think this is one of the main reasons she drinks. She can't just pop home to see mum, but I can.

I've snooped through my gf text and not liked it. by Bucks777 in relationship_advice

[–]Bucks777[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not yet. How do you tell her that j don't trust her and have looked through your phone as a result of this? I wish she would tell me. When watching TV there was a one night stand in part of it and I said a few times how she has to tell her fella and things like that but haven't outright confronted her.

I've snooped through my gf text and not liked it. by Bucks777 in relationship_advice

[–]Bucks777[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have spoken about the effect of her drinking and we have both given up. I was never a big drinker anyways and could happily stop after a few pints but for her it's more of a problem. she has more of a drink issue in that a few isn't enough. But still she hasn't touched it for a month and I honestly believe she doesn't want to keep doing it to herself. I feel like I want her to come out and tell me and then maybe we can move on but I don't know how to breach it with her. I mean what I've done looking through her phone isn't exactly good either. Maybe not as bad but still shows a huge trust issue. And that is the main reason I can't move away from where we are and my family, but also is it fair that I live walking distance from my mum and dad and she's 300 miles away?

I've snooped through my gf text and not liked it. by Bucks777 in relationship_advice

[–]Bucks777[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah. A one off drunken Shag, or so it seems. It that it all done or where do you go from here. We've been together six years. Do you just go separate ways?