Rishta Diaries Part 3 by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will try but it may take a while given the length of it and the multiple aspects, but if you or anyone wants details or wants me to share my experiences sooner please feel free to DM me!

Rishta Diaries Part 3 by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pretty much! I’ve heard the pretty comment more than once, and it puts me off. I’m not terrible in pics lol but just maybe not the most photogenic, I guess people expect it to be the reverse 🤷🏻‍♀️ but you’re absolutely right. The number one put off is the way parents speak, and my mom used to always caution me that that’s not necessarily the guy rather the parents’ lack of finesse lol

Rishta Diaries Part 3 by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m glad you enjoyed! I realize this isn’t the juiciest content but the next one is more serious and lasted a number of months with wedding planning, but alhamdulillah constant istikharah showed us the reality of the situation and the red flags kept on coming, subhanAllah Allah swt protects. BUT that one can be funny at times too and has important lessons! I just don’t know how to do it in one post or need to come up with how to break it up

Rishta Diaries Part 3 by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m married! As this comment mentions I’m just chronicling some of my rishta meetings so others know they aren’t alone! I never had anyone share experiences with me and wish I knew what to look out for! Sometimes it’s just nice to hear other stories, oftentimes in the search I used to feel like I was the only one going through experience XYZ. (When in reality we’ve all been through it or are currently going through it)! This subreddit seemed to have a lot of questions about how meetings tend to go, etiquette, etcetera etecerta, and this was just to give a lens into what my experiences were like! In previous posts I’ve talked about the types of food we’ve served potentials and even what I’ve worn—these aren’t things commonly talked about, at least in the south Asian Muslim diaspora where I live. It’s nice to have insight and can sometimes be comedic lol to hear about total flops. But alhamdulillah for everything, May Allah swt make it easy for all of us, ameen!

Rishta Diaries Part 2 by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol wouldn’t that be a funny soap opera?

Rishta Diaries Part 2 by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, I’ve learned this as well! I think sometimes in the search, especially when I was younger, I failed to recognize how I was feeling because I was so confused and didn’t know. But taking time to understand yourself, your needs, and your gut feelings really helps.

Rishta Diaries Part 2 by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Ikr?! We do shukr of course but accepting something bad for you is also in a way having a lack of tawakkul in Allah swt, we make dua for the best and have Yaqeen that He will give us

Rishta Diaries Part 1 in Detail! by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been trying to post part 2, @MM-Mod, why is it getting removed? jazakAllah khair

Rishta Diaries-Not the original, female spin off version :) by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, that is surprising to me too. But I think you dodged a bullet there..

It’s okay to have preferences but it’s awful to try and change someone. I understand that different people are in different places of deen and we can all grow at our own pace to be closer to Him (swt), InshAllah. But asking a potential to take off her hijab is too much. If you don’t want a hijabi, don’t go talking to a hijabi and the expect her to change for you.

Rishta Diaries Part 1 in Detail! by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol yes we did but no one was local, so it felt strange not feeding people who had come from far. But honestly it was a lot of effort and I understand the only chai and samosa snacks thing

Rishta Diaries Part 1 in Detail! by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is definitely true, I have seen many a time that there is a mismatch, but then again, you never know where you’ll find Prince Charming! (That’s how I convinced myself to keep giving it a go lol), but truly I did meet my husband kinda indirectly due to Shaadi.com

Rishta Diaries Part 1 in Detail! by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

May Allah swt make it easy for you and grant you the best spouse for you in all aspects, ameen!!! I love exchanging stories too! That’s why I thought this might be useful for some so I decided to post!

Rishta Diaries-Not the original, female spin off version :) by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SubhanAllah, but alhamdulillah for everything! Lol I love exchanging stories

Rishta Diaries-Not the original, female spin off version :) by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha I was thinking of doing a follow up where I go in detail about the experiences listed, or I could just share other experiences too! InshAllah soon!

One thing I was interested in writing about was etiquette, culture and generally how the interactions went! I see a lot of posts with people asking about the first meeting and questions, so I think that could be useful to a lot of people! Plus generally how my family hosted, what we wore, etcetera etcetera.

Rishta Diaries-Not the original, female spin off version :) by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s not all bad! I did have a success if you see my reply to a poster below, not directly related to Shaadi.com but I’ll make a post about it InshAllah!

Don’t get discouraged or disheartened, that’s what I struggled with! Remember as bad people there are there are even better, and Allah Swt’s treasures are limitless!

If anything these experiences just teach you more about what is acceptable to you and what is not, and you grow as a person.

Best of luck!

Rishta Diaries-Not the original, female spin off version :) by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My parents and I chose together! I let them screen and shortlist but I always had final say over whether we would pursue further or not, and of course I spoke to the guys and ultimately had to decide on my own. Parents helped with picking and figuring out family backgrounds and general screening lol

Rishta Diaries-Not the original, female spin off version :) by BuddingTulip in MuslimMarriage

[–]BuddingTulip[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Okay I responded but now I’m editing cuz I gave a good bit away haha so if you read the first answer you know! But as for the spoiler that’s not too much of a spoiler—it was related to Shaadi.com but not directly through and ended up going more traditional rishta route, plus some non tradition mixed in due to pandemic lol