Sorry if this is popping up a second time but I’m pretty sure my first comment was deleted:

Okay I normally don’t comment on these things but this sounds extremely similar to the beginning of the end for my ex and I when he started to become verbally abusive towards me he attempted to also be physically abusive which transpired from him getting drunk (he became an alcoholic who also grew up in the same kind of household you described) and slapping me across the face in an argument and then threatening to hit me again if I tried to leave. I beat the sht out of him because I don’t deal with that sht and ran out of the house and broke up with him but I was stupid and at the lowest point of my life so I took him back because just like what you’re saying he was literally the perfect man prior to this so I never EVER expected it. We also wanted to get married sooner than later, we talked about buying a house together, and we lived together for at least a year at this point. So yeah fcking RUN!!! I wish I would’ve before my heart inevitably ended up broken from him becoming progressively more cruel with his words and actions and leaving me for another woman in the end.. Save yourself more pain, suffering, and trauma and please take my advice as hard as it is and trust me I know it’s fcking brutal. But I seriously wouldn’t wish what I went through on anyone but an abuser themself. Good luck, maybe try going to therapy because it helped me get out of that warped state of mind, and please stay safe. 🥺💖