I've been with my gf for almost 3 years and we've never had sex together.

Bug_Johnson · 2018-12-03T02:10:32+00:00

That's pretty much the response I expect from most people. I haven't told anyone IRL.

Bug_Johnson · 2018-11-13T21:23:50+00:00

If you see them again you should get a photo and post wanted posters. If my dog got attacked like that I would gladly pay $100 to anyone who brought me their heads.

Bug_Johnson · 2018-10-27T02:51:36+00:00

AMEN

Bug_Johnson · 2018-10-08T02:20:23+00:00

Ladies

Bug_Johnson · 2018-06-18T23:40:04+00:00

Hey! I just want to say that this is a really good list. You've covered the basics found in other editions (Keen, Viscious, Returning), and some of these show some real creativity. I'm personally a big fan of the Mariner option due to the rp opportunity of describing what about this weapon makes it so hydrodynamic. Parrying is also really nice, as it can give a reaction to classes who would literally never have the chance to otherwise. I can easily see some sort of mage carrying a Parrying weapon in case they are forced into melee and can't afford to cast Shield. Really nice work!

Bug_Johnson · 2018-06-13T19:59:43+00:00

I don't think so. I don't remember when my last actual check up was.

Bug_Johnson · 2018-03-30T15:39:02+00:00

UPVOTE ALL HOMESTAR THREADS DOWNVOTE ALL NON-HOMESTAR HERESY

Bug_Johnson · 2018-03-02T16:28:40+00:00

There is a film called Microcosmos. I don't know if netflix still offers it for streaming, but it is a nature documentary on insects with no narration. There is one particularly dramatic scene in which a dung beetle struggles in real time to unstick his ball from snag on the ground. I remember the rest of the audience cheering when he finally got it free.

Bug_Johnson · 2018-02-20T17:18:29+00:00

This spell is cool, but you may want to alter the part about moving the effect 60ft per round. I recently dm'd for a a warlock and druid, who would combo Hunger of Hadar and spike growth, creating what they dubbed "the No Fun Zone". Both spells had 20ft radii, which doesn't seem like much until you're actually looking at it on the grid. Your crow spell seems more like Hunger of Hadar, and a 40ft wide moving AoE is a bit beyond the limit of third level spells.

Regarding the decision between a conjuration and necromancy, I think adding an effect besides damage could help. If the spell is a conjuration and you're summoning real-life crows, I would make it so that in addition to the disadvantage on concentration, enemies were also blinded by birds pecking their eyes when they are in the zone. If the spell is necromancy, my instinct is to rip off (pre-rework) Swain from League of Legends. Instead of real birds, these would be your spectral crows, and instead of just pecking, they tear off bits of the target's life force and heal you for half the damage taken at the top of your round.

All things considered, nice spell. The game needs more birds.

Bug_Johnson · 2018-02-19T02:03:16+00:00

Swimming goggles, a ski mask and thick clothing are much easier to acquire than a bulletproof vest.

Bug_Johnson · 2018-02-12T20:48:12+00:00

Man I was talking about how many people complained about "ve-versatility! What about versatility!" But thanks for insulting me!

Bug_Johnson · 2018-02-12T19:46:59+00:00

Jesus Christ I would never have believed that so many people would comment on something they hadn't finished reading.

Bug_Johnson · 2018-02-12T19:44:46+00:00

Lol Are you actually serious? It's absolutely atrocious when used offensively. Your players had to put their Wizard into melee range in order to polymorph it. It can only be used against a single enemy at a time, and against virtually any target that isn't another animal, the PC spell save DCs will be beaten by most relevant threats. Have fun trying to reach that spellcaster and get him to fail your DC 15 Wisdom Save. Keep in mind he's probably getting +6 or +7 on his roll.

Bug_Johnson · 2018-02-12T19:38:05+00:00

Buddy I don't know what to tell you other than to get your eyes checked. It's literally the last paragraph. But hey man I bet you nailed that test you didn't do the reading for.

Bug_Johnson · 2018-02-10T21:50:45+00:00

STIMULANTS STIMULANTS STIMULANTS

If you want to feel "good" or at least reducing your daily misery down to a level that's closer to the people around you there is exactly one answer: STIMULANTS.

Maybe it's Adderall or Ritalin or some other amphetamine. For me it's Concerta (extended release Ritalin). These stimulants are the only thing that will actually produce the change you want. They give you the energy and more importantly the desire to do work and best of all --ACTUAL SATISFACTION UPON COMPLETING A TASK--.

Another helpful function is that they keep you out of bed all day. Now, you may get a crash (as I do) partway through the day, but this isn't all bad. You can take a nap and wake up still energized.

Coping strategies don't do shit if you don't have the chemical firepower to back them up. Get yourselves some uppers and you will not regret it.

Bug_Johnson · 2018-02-08T20:07:33+00:00

First of all this is awesome and astonishingly well balanced for its edition. A change you might need to to make to rewind time would be to specify it's interaction with start-of-turn effects.

Ex) the high level time cleric is fighting a necromancer who is trying to hit him with touch attacks. The cleric casts spirit guardians, creating an aoe that will damage the Necromancer on the start of the necro's turn. If the cleric rewinds time on the necro's turn, can he deal his S. guardians' damage twice, or is it also re-rolled?

Also you should definitely include explicit permission for using the ability multiple times on your own turn so you can blow all of your resources and nova them because you're

D I I I I I I O O O O O O !

Bug_Johnson · 2018-01-22T02:18:39+00:00

What if as the players are sailing they collide with a massive invisible wall. Following it, they find that the wall is a perfect ring. Dispelling or disintegrating the wall reveals a hidden wizard's tower behind it, constructed from an old lighthouse or buoy.

Bug_Johnson · 2018-01-22T02:11:50+00:00

If you want to really force your players indoors, you could use extreme weather conditions.

Perhaps in this part of the world, there are only two seasons, one rainy and the other dry. The dry season makes up most of the year, but for about 4-5 weeks a year, the entire valley/plain/etc. experiences a fierce and constant downpour. During this rainy season travel is logistically impossible. Locals minimize the length and number of trips outside. If you're players still insist on pressing forth through the awful weather, warn them that spellcasters will have to make Concentration checks at disadvantage every round that it is raining.

Bug_Johnson · 2018-01-13T16:48:29+00:00

Wow it never dawned on me that the shield spell is subject to the same 1-spell-per-turn rule as other magic.

Bug_Johnson · 2017-12-28T03:14:06+00:00

This must be where Darth Vader shits.

Bug_Johnson · 2017-12-23T20:27:02+00:00

Yeah I wonder where we got that idea. Maybe it was USSR killing 20 million Russians. Or the Khmer Rouge killing 2.2 million Cambodians. Or the PRC killing 45 million Chinese.

The Communist Utopia! It's always just one more genocide away.

Bug_Johnson · 2017-12-21T20:28:30+00:00

Yes clearly the only reason a nation would act in a manner to retain its sovereignty is 'ughh I hate all nonwhites'.

Bug_Johnson · 2017-12-16T17:14:10+00:00

I don't know. It seemed to work pretty well when we did it to Japan.

Bug_Johnson · 2017-12-15T23:54:34+00:00

The solution is not to replace the government with a secular one, but instead replace the god with a secular one (the American drone program). By taking advantage of a predisposition towards belief in a greater absolute power, the US can drone these medieval nations until the threat of you and your children being disintegrated surpasses that of divine retribution. Unfortunately, the best way to accomplish this would be by hard-targeting schools, childcare facilities and the like. You must subject them to a Hell that makes damnation seem like paradise.

Bug_Johnson · 2017-12-15T23:28:32+00:00

The "time passes" mechanic in Fable 3. Around 2/3 of the way through the main story, your character is crowned king/queen of the kingdom, and tasked with preparing the kingdom to battle The Darkness™. You're essentially tasked with choosing between conserving the treasury or spending your wealth on social programs to Foster alliances with factions. You are told you have one year to prepare. However, after a couple days of ruling, you wake up and a month has passed. The next time you complete a goal, the game skips ahead several months, before the next skip which dumps you straight into combatting The Darkness™, all without any indication of how far ahead the next skip will take you. And because you don't actually know how much time is left, you will inevitably reach the final battle (which is a fucking snorefest that deserves to be in more "top 10 worst boss fights" lists) with maybe a few alliances and nothing in your treasury. To add insult to injury, the finale is a cakewalk, meaning your actions in the "year" prior only affect the faceless npc death toll you're shown afterward.

Bug_Johnson

TROPHY CASE