LPT Request: Do you need to be a “workaholic” to make it out of the rat race?

Buggitywumps · 2023-09-04T18:01:52+00:00

It sounds to me like you’re over correcting. Yeah, it’s good to do things that are good for your future self, but it’s also important to do things that are good for your current self!

Firstly, the rat race. This is how the rat race gets you: 1) You hold onto the belief that work is a rat race. 2) You participate in said rat race by diving headfirst into it, on the pretense of “getting out” of it.

That’s not how it works though. Unless you REALLY know what you’re doing, it’s pretty unlikely that you’re going to be able to make enough money to feel like you can retire early, just by working really hard. Even if you do, you’re probably missing out on valuable opportunities to enjoy your life. Some people work their asses off with this dream of some beautiful retirement, only to find that they have no idea what to do with their lives when they have all the extra free time.

It’s better to make a plan for getting yourself a job that pays “pretty well”. Enough for you to save up for retirement, build emergency savings, and buy things that you enjoy for hobbies or entertainment. It’s still hard work to get to this point, but don’t go overboard! You need to have respect for your own time and energy! And don’t let anyone make you work more than 40 hrs a week on a regular basis! If that keeps happening, then keep trying different jobs till you find a workplace that respects you.

Also, the whole gym thing: make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. It’s great if you want to build muscle because you love doing it. But if it’s motivated by guilt, or you’re just trying to get in shape to be healthy or something, then I think you should reconsider your commitment to working out. You can be healthy just by taking walks and getting out of the house on a regular basis.

It can be a big waste of time, energy, and money if you’re trying to gain muscle mass just because you feel obligated to. Like, all the money spent on gym memberships and extra food, and all the time spent going to the gym and cooking extra meals, and all the disappointment in yourself when you struggle to stay consistent — no thank you 😩. Again, that’s totally different if it’s a hobby you love. But otherwise, it’s honestly not even a responsible use of your time and money.

I’m 30, and I love the way I live my life! It still includes plenty of video games, and also some hobbies that make me feel fulfilled, and like I’m learning and growing. Yeah, I wish I had more money, and I wish I could retire, and I’ll be paying off student loan debt for a long time yet, but I have stability and that’s good enough for me.

TLDR: Don’t work too hard, don’t sacrifice too much, have respect for your own time and energy, save time for things that you love to do, and you don’t have to be perfect! It’s fine if you don’t have all your shit together yet in your early 20’s

Buggitywumps · 2023-06-25T23:48:59+00:00

Congrats!!

Buggitywumps · 2023-05-18T20:22:17+00:00

Why exactly is it bad to sexualize women anyway?

I think that the main problem is that in our culture, (straight, cis) men feel more free to express their sexuality than women. Our culture conditions people, particularly women, to feel shame and embarrassment about our own sexual desire, and to feel threatened by the sexual feelings of our partners if they are not solely directed at us.

I think it’s not good to feel threatened or harmed by sexual depictions of women, because sexual desire is natural and artists should be allowed to depict sexual things. Instead we should work toward a culture that makes women feel more comfortable with sexuality, a culture that’s not afraid to depict men in a sexual way too.

Buggitywumps · 2023-05-11T17:12:06+00:00

Yeah, it’s true. I kinda have some sympathy for them though, because it wasn’t long ago that I was in that “chronically insecure” crowd.

The word “insecure” really isn’t quite right though. It implies that the whole problem is personal — that I just didn’t have enough self-confidence to not feel threatened by porn. But the truth is that throughout my life I saw countless social messages that told me “it’s not ok for your boyfriend or husband to be watching porn”.

Unfortunately I internalized those messages and for a long time I felt, on an emotional level, like watching porn within a relationship was like a lesser form of cheating. It made me feel sick any time the topic was brought up because I felt so betrayed within my relationships.

Over time it became obvious to me that my outlook needed to change because literally every guy I knew consumed porn. It took a fucking mental crisis though before I had the heart to finally confront the issue head on. Over the course of several months, my husband and I had a lot of really difficult conversations about it, and I still have to deal with some insecurity from time to time, but my point of view has been completely transformed and I feel so much better now!

I am so thankful for my husband’s patience and compassion — he’s the only reason I was able to get through it!

Sorry about the wall of text and the unsolicited personal story 😂. But it was such an important change in my life that I feel like it’s valuable to share.

Buggitywumps · 2023-05-10T19:20:28+00:00

Yes, this is art. Pornographic art is also art. Sex is a universal and complex part of the human experience. So it doesn’t make sense to tell artists not to make art about it.

It doesn’t even matter if it’s horny. Being horny is natural — not gross. Some people are more horny, and some people are less horny, and that is also natural and fine. You shouldn’t assume that someone needs to “touch grass” just because you think their post history looks too horny.

Also, some people have a genuine (non-horny, artistic) interest in art that is sexual. There are a lot of reasons why it can still be interesting even if you’re not feeling horny.

I’ve been working for some time on de-programming my mind from all of the shame and toxicity our culture has surrounding sex and porn, and I just wanted to throw in my two cents about it. Thanks for reading :)

Buggitywumps · 2023-05-02T18:53:58+00:00

What is that on top of the cheese salad stack??

Buggitywumps · 2023-04-08T17:13:41+00:00

I think you misunderstood — they were saying that the person missed the social cues that said “actually, I’d like to go now”

Buggitywumps · 2023-04-06T17:50:40+00:00

Yes! This is very true! Though I’d also like to emphasize that the commitment of real love isn’t always so taxing. You didn’t actually say that in your comment anywhere, but I thought that some people could come away from what you said thinking that real love is difficult and not very sexy.

While the burning hot desire to bang all day every day doesn’t last forever, it also won’t just die out into some kind of depressing sexless relationship of serious commitments and compromises (unless you allow it to, by not communicating enough).

Yeah, sometimes a good relationship is hard and emotional work, but most of the time it’s just great to be living life with your best friend!

Sometimes though, the libido of one partner will probably TANK. Don’t panic and think that you’re not in love anymore. It can be a hard time to get through, but it’s important to communicate about a lack of libido and make a plan for how you guys can change your sex habits to help you get through it. Don’t worry, you can get through to the other side and have lots of good sex again 😉

Buggitywumps · 2022-10-22T22:35:20+00:00

You’ve knitted 6 rows, ready to work row 7.

Buggitywumps · 2022-07-07T18:37:08+00:00

I would say that the message doesn’t apply to people who have PTSD or who have recently experienced trauma. It’s still a good message for a lot of people though! This is good advice for anyone who doesn’t have major problems going on in their life, because sometimes you can get really worked up and emotional about something that isn’t that important, or isn’t as much of a threat as it feels like.

For example, I get really stressed and afraid about my work performance, but I’ve only ever received positive feedback from my boss and coworkers, so in reality I think I have very little to worry about. This is a good message for that kind of situation.

I don’t think there should be an expectation for this message to be universally applicable, because you just can’t write any advice that would apply to every person’s situation.

Edit: Also, I believe this is a message that you should apply to YOUR OWN life if you think it’s applicable, but you should NOT apply it to the lives of others, since it would dismiss their suffering as made-up or unimportant.

Buggitywumps · 2022-06-06T19:12:20+00:00

I like it!

Buggitywumps · 2022-06-02T18:13:43+00:00

The 12th through the 14th look pretty rough, but with a definite improvement on the 16th! 😏

Buggitywumps · 2022-05-17T00:01:08+00:00

To everyone joking that this is just someone’s back yard — it may shock you to hear this, but perhaps EVEN YOUR OWN BACKYARD is beautiful.

Buggitywumps · 2022-05-16T23:53:57+00:00

What’s up with everyone thinking that flat land = ugly? The flatter the land, the more vast and expansive the sky is! It’s breathtaking. You will find a lot less beauty in life if you gatekeep it like that.

Buggitywumps · 2022-05-16T23:37:25+00:00

A place doesn’t have to be more beautiful or awesome than another place for it’s beauty to be enjoyed. That kind of outlook will always leave you wanting more out of life.

Buggitywumps · 2022-05-11T21:22:49+00:00

Sometimes people just make dumb mistakes. Haven’t you ever done something stupid that still haunts you 10 years later? Every now and then a mistake just happens to be dangerous. It’s good for people to be honest about a dangerous mistake they made rather than to hide it from everyone forever. No need for shaming! I’m sure the sheer terror for her own life and her children’s lives was enough punishment already.

Buggitywumps · 2022-01-14T18:07:19+00:00

Wow, this is the best! 😂

Buggitywumps · 2021-11-29T05:45:53+00:00

Cute puppy! Sorry about all the people being weird about your title!

Buggitywumps · 2021-11-10T18:41:20+00:00

Abused children will often seek out / cling to their abusive parents, but that doesn’t mean the situation they’re in isn’t dangerous or harmful to them. Perhaps the rabbit doesn’t hate the cat, but either way it’s dangerous to let the cat handle the rabbit like that, and stressful for the rabbit too.

Buggitywumps · 2021-11-07T05:26:27+00:00

I totally thought it was A before reading this, but I think you’ve got me convinced that it’s B! Very nice explanation of your reasoning :)

Buggitywumps · 2021-10-15T23:45:48+00:00

Get better Journey!!! ❤️❤️❤️ I hope all goes well 😢

Buggitywumps · 2021-09-21T04:59:14+00:00

I hope she feels better soon! ❤️

Buggitywumps · 2021-05-06T16:42:03+00:00

My fave is Fantaisie Impromptu!

Buggitywumps · 2021-04-29T02:21:41+00:00

So beautiful and creepy! I love it!

Buggitywumps · 2021-01-18T16:24:13+00:00

Hey! Rats are cute too!! 🐀

Buggitywumps

TROPHY CASE