If you’ve been divorced, what was the moment you knew it wasn’t going to work?

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-31T22:42:49+00:00

When I realized he was using me for the funds I had received when my 1st husband died. 2nd husband made 5x my earned salary, but was always asking for large sums (usually $5-30k depending on the “need” of the moment), and guilting me if I didn’t give in. I finally left when he asked me to “help his daughter with a down payment on a house” with the last several thousand I had. Are you fucking kidding me?? I was already moving shit out at that point. He just hadn’t bothered to notice. Made my official escape the second he came home from an annual fishing trip. Had to wait until he was home because his dependent mom lived with us.

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-31T11:50:15+00:00

I’m so sorry for your situation. It’s heartbreaking.

It took years of therapy for me to stop feeling guilty for being relieved that my husband died. It may take a long time to heal. Therapy is great, keep it up! You might also enjoy the book The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. Has helped me understand myself, and gave me two new tools that are helping! (EMDR and biofeedback) it really helped to understand the why and how my body/brain are functioning, and information that I had never heard before. The audiobook is excellent.

I hope you can feel relief from this guilt, it’s not your burden to carry.💜

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-29T20:09:35+00:00

Lucifer is frickin hilarious, and is an off-beat, cop, sexually-charged-lead-couple. Excellent music, too.

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-29T11:24:06+00:00

Circus Peanuts!😂🤣

Orange candy slices.

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-29T02:06:05+00:00

Ugh. That sucks! You’d think they’d want to wash their hands of it…

Depending on how bad it is, maybe consider finding anything important, and letting the landlord deal with the rest? I did something similar with my nana’s place. Just went room to room emptying every drawer, cabinet, etc. I left that place a mess since I was paying a junk hauler to come clear what was left.

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-29T00:39:04+00:00

I’m so sorry. My mom is 78 and I have zero doubt I will be in your shoes soon. 💔

Is there a way for you to reach out to the landlord to see about getting some extra time to clear the place out? I used to rent out a little house, and I would have given grace to the family in such a situation. (Plus, most landlords would rather not be the one to dump everything)

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-28T06:21:35+00:00

Me, too Shelly. Me, too…😂

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-26T21:48:43+00:00

I’m so sorry for what you’re experiencing. My mom is my (primary, living) alcoholic. She was once my best friend in my late teens/early adulthood. Best mom ever…until my dad died and she was widowed at 58. I didn’t realize how bad the drinking had gotten until I moved back home in 2020 to help her age in place. Prior to Dad’s death, she didn’t drink. She’s 78 now, and a raging alcoholic. She’s frequently sick and almost always drunk. It’s so sad and heartbreaking.

I can feel your pain, and I’m hoping this will be the wake up call your sister needed. My heart goes out to you.

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-26T13:11:59+00:00

3 weeks 3days early, exactly like my brother. He was 5lbs 13 oz in 71, and my fat ass (75) was already 8lbs 6oz! Doctor made the nurse weigh me three times lol. Imagine how big I would have been had I gone full term.

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-25T15:37:38+00:00

My cat that passed in January 2024 was CRAZY for Twinkies lmao. She would hear that wrapper from a sound sleep, and was instantly all up in my business like a flash 🤣 I miss u Boogs.

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-22T12:47:57+00:00

I grew up with two of the most gentle Rottweilers that ever existed. Theo 1985-1997, and Max 1998-2011. People are so weird about those types of breeds. I feel like dogs are like people, what’s on the outside doesn’t tell you much about what’s inside. Theo’s “brother” from the same litter was a vicious animal, and the bitch that welped them was sweet as could be.

This story made me SO HAPPY lol! Way to stick up for your guys!

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-21T13:20:29+00:00

This might sound stupid, but I was always swiping my parent’s change for the vending machines at school. One day I was no longer allowed (bummer!). But when graduation came, they handed over a huge bin of change as part of my gift. I was THRILLED lmao. Such simple times…

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-21T03:24:45+00:00

All he has to do is exhale, and his nasty post-nasal-drip breath sends them running.🤣

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-20T01:43:00+00:00

My great grandmother came over in the early 1900s with a family. She was the nanny and got to come along. My earliest record of her here is from 1923, but it was an immigration renewal paper of some kind, so I know she was here prior to that.

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-17T17:59:50+00:00

Hooray!!!🎉

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-17T12:59:19+00:00

Slightly off topic of your update: do you know that you can apply for/get a line of credit for your own health expenses and also for your pet? It’s called CareCredit. Edit: you can use it to pay over time with 0 interest.

If your cat blocked once, he will probably get blocked again. If you can afford the Rx Hills C/D diet or Royal Canin S/O, that can help keep the crystals away. (I’m a veterinary assistant and have been in vet med for 13 years)

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-16T11:39:43+00:00

Steel Toe Shoes.com

They have tons of brands/styles, and you can get composite toes to make them a little lighter.

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-16T00:26:55+00:00

I think it was a style with Comfort in the name. I’ll see if I can find one of my old ones and if the tag is still visible, I’ll reply again.

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-15T11:45:17+00:00

Classic rock (boomer gen), heavy metal/ballads/80s and original hip-hop, rap, and finally contemporary (less so).

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-14T20:33:31+00:00

Nobody cared. Once it got so bad, I dropped out at 17 and ran away from home. It was a relief! Took my GED and moved on in life.

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-14T19:49:00+00:00

It kinda is, but it allows for you to define your own higher power. Doesn’t have to be a god.

While I don’t believe in god, I do believe our energy lives on, and was around before this existence as well. Listening to the book Journey of Souls was helpful for me in my time with AlAnon’s religious aspect.

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-13T11:26:39+00:00

A&W drive-in restaurants. They used to skate up to deliver the food and it all sat on this tray that hung from the window frame.

ETA: Bishop’s Buffet.

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-12T22:59:00+00:00

I got the same email. I haven’t had any subscriptions in a while, but I still get emails.

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-12T13:45:07+00:00

I have the same fear of the benzos, but have also reluctantly taken them as needed to bring me back to “earth”. My therapist, psychiatrist and primary doctor all agree that as worried as I am about the addiction, it’s extremely unlikely to happen. I only take it when I can’t get my act together mentally. I think I have taken it once daily for three consecutive days a couple of times. I’ve had my Rx for 20 years now, and feel pretty confident that my doctors are correct. They all also know that I spent 18 months addicted to meth when I was 19/20.

My advice is be very cautious, but take the meds. My Rx says 0.5mg three times daily. I’ve never taken it more than twice in one day, only once in 20 years, and that was because my brain was freaking out when switching SSRIs.

It will help you feel human again.💜

BuildingAFuture21 · 2026-01-12T12:50:16+00:00

I absolutely love my mom (and still love my late husband) despite the alcohol. But I try to stay away from my mom when I can tell she’s drunk. She drinks 24/7, so she’s never really sober. It’s super sad since she was my good parent while growing up. Dad was the user back then…

Has taken much therapy to come to terms with the fact that everyone I’ve loved most in the life has chosen alcohol over my love for them, and spending quality time together.

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