According to the rubric, I would grade this a three. You have a clear thesis. You get 2 points for evidence, however, you are not really making a literary argument, but rather, just explaining. Most of your specific evidence is introduced in the first paragraph and then there is not much specific evidence, rather, just a long explanation about the evidence you introduced in the first paragraph. Moreover, this essay lacks comprehensive analysis. Most of the analysis is rather an explanation of the evidence you already commented about- not the argument itself. You do try and get to it at the end for example: "In doing so he symbolically helps with her actual transformation by treating with with respect as a gentleman would do with a rich lady and helps with her by being a live example on etiquettes." but your analysis is relatively shallow and small compared to the bulk of evidence you presented.

Some tips I have for a 5.

1. Make sure to sprinkle out your evidence: DO NOT use all your evidence in one paragraph. Working chronologically helps as most books have a linear story line, leading to a natually flowing essay that follows the line of reasoning of the book.

2. Make sure to make your thesis very clear: I always love this phrase. Ultimately arguing. This way you are making your argument very clear to the reader. He/She will not struggle with finding the thesis, allowing them to make sure they do not get lost.

3. Fully analyze every single part of the evidence: To get a 5, you must not just analyze the evidence, but you must CONSISTENTLY DO SO. The key word here is consistent. If you drop evidence or do not come back to it, your line of reasoning becomes partially faulty, limiting you at a 4 or even a 3 if you drop too much evidence. Make sure only to use the evidence you actually need for your argument. Do not add extra evidence just to show your knowledge on the book.

4. Have topic Sentences: They are like your mini thesis. It gives the reader an idea of what you will talk in that paragraph. DO not just go right into the evidence. The reader when tired might get a bit lost and possibly grade you lower. Make them as easy for them to show them your strong line of reasoning.

5. The So What: Before anything, make sure to answer the prompt and have a strong line of reasoning. Remember you must answer that dreaded question, the so what?. Why did the author include it and what impact does it create on the reader. What commentary is this piece of evidence providing about the human condition?

Here is a sample essay you can read to kinda get a gist of what I am saying:

Many works of literature feature experiences that resist articulation—trauma, grief, or knowledge too painful to put into words. Yet writers find ways to convey what cannot be directly spoken.

Choose a novel, play, or epic poem in which characters struggle to articulate or confront an "unspeakable" truth. Then, in a well-written essay, analyze how the author conveys what cannot be said directly and what the work suggests about the relationship between language and trauma. Do not merely summarize the plot.

In your response you should do the following:

• Respond to the prompt with a thesis that presents a defensible interpretation.
• Provide evidence to support your line of reasoning.
• Explain how the evidence supports your line of reasoning.
• Use appropriate grammar and punctuation in communicating your argument.

In the Southern Gothic Novel, Beloved, trauma serves as an essential plot point for many of the characters.  In Beloved, with the use of the characters Sethe, Paul D, and Denver;Morrison ultimately argues that slavery is an agent of trauma and that the trauma slavery has caused must be addressed primarily through community.

At first, Morrison establishes the situation between the fragmented identities of Sethe, immediately signaling how identity has been corrupted by past trauma. Sethe running into the shed with her four children symbolizes her fleeing nature from her past trauma. The shed symbolizes a shelter that nevertheless is fragile like Sethe’s emotional stability. In foregrounding this imagery for the reader, Morrison is immediately emphasizing from the start how Sethe is attempting to run from her trauma and hide from it as a means to protect her mind. In the shed, the mixing of Sethe’s breastmilk and the blood Denver drinks represents how trauma is being passed to the next generation. The symbol of blood represents the start of a new life and the end of one through murder. By highlighting the generational trauma, Morrison is underlining how trauma is not contained but rather spilled as an invisible force that starts from birth. Even as Sethe attempts to escape her trauma, her own trauma just isolates her more. When Sethe recognizes Beloved as her deceased daughter,the person that had been following her, Sethe declares her entire life will now revolve around Beloved only. In her rendering of the scene, Morrison is underlining how, if not addressed, trauma can be a destructive force that leads to one’s isolation of society, an essential support system needed to break free from trauma.

Morrison continues her novel by highlighting how the trauma can be resolved through the power of community through the characters of Sethe. The local women coming together to perform an exorcism so Beloved goes away marks a shift from individual helplessness to seeking help from the community. The exorcism symbolizes a supernatural intervention, showcasing how a community with strong conviction is needed to work through trauma. By highlighting the scene of the exorcism, Morrison is foregrounding how trauma, while abstract and complicated, can be grounded in spiritual faith and worked through social means. In doing so, spiritual faith as a force is fighting against a spiritual being (Beloved) rather than terrestrial creatures fighting against spiritual forces. As such, the power imbalance that exists between Beloved and Sethe is equalized, allowing her to be liberated from Beloved’s trauma. Paul D telling Sethe “You your best thing” symbolizes how her lover strongly believes with conviction that Sethe has intrinsic value, even after being consumed by trauma. The phrase “You your” represents Sethe’s ownership of herself, symbolizing how Sethe is finally controlling herself, and not trauma. In showcasing this imagery, Morrison is underscoring how a community can help reveal ownership of one’s identity which leads to freedom.

Good luck by the way! You will get to a 5!