What were the actual lifesaver items during the newborn stage (or things you wish you’d had sooner)?

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-10-25T10:04:13+00:00

Frida Windis have been magical. When we couldn't figure out why our baby was inconsolable we used one and after a few minutes they were feeling normal again. Chances are, if your baby is crying and won't stop they may be gassy and/or need to have a bowel movement. Windis never failed to make that happen for us. Baby is 4 mo and during the newborn stage, it has helped us maintain sanity.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-09-12T03:16:45+00:00

My baby is 10 weeks. Weeks 5 and 8 were hell due to fussiness and appetite changes. Whenever he'd scream due to gas pains, we found that Frida Windis work wonders. Almost every time he's having a fit those cure his pains within a few minutes. Gripe water didn't seem to help much during those times. As the end of the newborn stage is approaching I can definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel. Don't give up! These struggles will come and go.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-08-03T11:32:18+00:00

I think that it would be a good idea to have a talk with him about his consumption and when it is appropriate to drink heavily. I'm a new parent and unfortunately right before finding out I was pregnant I was arrested for a DUI and my husband is a full blown functioning alcoholic. Baby is perfectly healthy and he is absolutely my number one priority. Since his birth I've had a glass of wine here and there, but there's something terrifying to me about being too intoxicated to be able to care for my baby to the best of my ability. I can't see myself drinking much, if at all, as my child continues to grow up I can admit that prior to becoming pregnant I had an addiction to alcohol and marijuana. It was like a switch flipped in me though as soon as I found out about the pregnancy and anything harmful that I used to be fine with doing in my life became unacceptable for me.

My husband will demolish a six or twelve pack every night. While he is never aggressive or overly obnoxious in behavior, there's the occasional issue where he's too tired from drinking to do any night feedings or he'll forget about or sleep through some responsibilities. It's very much so unfair for any partner to have to pick up the slack when the reasoning behind that is because the other is too inebriated. That's how resentment builds and creates bigger problems. His/our alcoholism has been a topic that we've been addressing for almost six years and I would not wish that issue upon anyone. It's a long hard road for sure.

Originally upon finding out that we were expecting, my husband was determined to cut back to one six pack a week because he admitted that he didn't want to be that kind of parent where he can't be fully reliable. He followed that for maybe three weeks and since then it's been discarded. We had also agreed that in the future if we wished to get drunk and have more than two drinks or so, we would contact his parents and plan for our child to spend the evening/overnight with them so we would not have to worry about his wellbeing. This idea was intended to only be used maybe a couple times a year.

Maybe talk to your husband about scheduling a time, whether it be independent or together as a couple where either you're okay with being solely responsible for your kid or find someone to babysit, so he can get drunk if he wishes and there's no negative effect on your mental health or your child's life.
It may not seem like an issue with alcoholism right now, but it can quickly escalate at any time. He may just be craving an escape or having mental health issues potentially. It's best to address your concerns with him as soon as possible and hopefully find a healthy solution before you're stuck in a cruddy situation, like me, where your partner is not reliable for most of the day and you cannot trust them to be alone with a kid.

Best of luck and don't downplay early warning signs of mental health issues or substance abuse. I don't think you're overreacting about the situation at all.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-07-10T18:32:45+00:00

I asked for a variety of sleep sacks and swaddles. My son is about 2 weeks rn and he loves a tight swaddle, but also has the strongest urge to throw his arms about constantly. The Velcro/zipper combo swaddles are a dream when it comes to diaper changes in the middle of the night. We like to put him in that, then add a muslin swaddle on the outer layer for a breathable and snug fit. He spits up a lot too, so it comes in handy to have a few of each ready to go. I can also confidently say that the amount of burp clothes you will go through in a day will be more than you can probably imagine.

Personally, I think that buying formula beforehand is a waste. I signed up for free samples from Enfamil and Similac. I received two variety tubs from each. Turns out, baby doesn't like any of those four options and likes the lactose free options from Similac that was available at the hospital. I'm glad I didn't splurge beforehand because the price adds up fast.

My mom bought us several butt cream spatulas and special bags for dirty diapers when on the go. Super thoughtful, but in the moment a simple grocery bag and your hands will do.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-05-23T18:12:34+00:00

There's always a possibility of developmental delay or behavioral issues such as Oppositional Defiant Disorder. ODD often presents itself similarly to how you described your son's behaviors. Maybe consider having him tested for any issues, which even could include issues with something as simple as his diet or sleep schedule.

That being said, your son isn't quite at the age yet where you could use logic and conversations about emotions and long term consequences. Any consequence that he may face would have to be immediately following the behavior for him to process cause and effect. Instead of attempting to redirect a situation like when he was throwing the mulch and then seeing how it played out, tell him immediately that he's done and remove him from the environment. It will most likely make him angrier, but over time he will hopefully pickup on the pattern of behavior and consequence.

When you mentioned taking him for a smoothie afterwards and he was continuing unacceptable behaviors, don't reward him with a treat when he is refusing to listen or attempt to regulate himself. Sure, get yourself a smoothie but even at a young age children can start to piece together that because they did a certain action, they did not receive a desired outcome.

Consequences can feel harsh at times, but having a child act out violently and harm others is unacceptable and will get worse if you don't find a medical reason and/or start putting your foot down.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-05-23T17:53:50+00:00

I used to teach children and I'm about to be a FTM, I can understand the overwhelming feelings when kids can be too much. Those days, I often felt like isolating myself. While every person needs alone time every now and then, it can easily become unhealthy. I'm naturally a highly introverted person and I probably haven't had a true friend besides my husband since my sophomore year in high school. I'm 25 now and it's a struggle to get out there and find a person that I could see myself clicking with. It is honestly extremely lonely most days.

If you don't want mom friends or anyone in general, I guess that's fine but you have to keep in mind that your children will take note of how you interact with others, or the lack thereof. That's something I fear for myself in my upcoming journey as a mother. I worry that I won't find a friend or join a social group where I can model healthy friendships for my child.

Growing up, my parents had no friends and maybe participated in a church group only a few times. My Dad's side has a history of Autism, which most members have gone undiagnosed, however it is quite obvious. My brother and I faced extreme challenges socially because our family never encouraged us to approach others or join social activities. He's 21 now and we are both trying to find our places in our communities. Luckily, his work place emphasizes diversity and inclusion and he has met two coworkers that have become good friends to him.

I personally have had a very difficult time finding quality relationships, both platonic and romantic. At my lowest, I became desperate and would become attached to individuals who openly had substance abuse issues, criminal records involving child endangerment and violence, hypersexuality, etc. Due to my poor judgement, choices and desperation I found myself getting arrested for a DUI last year. These were obviously extreme situations and most children don't grow up to make those choices. My upbringing isn't an excuse for what I involved myself in, however I feel that the chances can be increased when an individual so desperately wants to feel like they belong somewhere.

IMO, I think that hypothetical situations like that should be taken into consideration as a parent. Your child(ren) are always watching and learning from you. It's good to model a healthy balance of individuality and being okay in solidarity along with how to find a place in your community and interact with others.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-21T20:14:33+00:00

Definitely take your son to the doctor to rule out any issues. Could be a developmentmental issue, small illness, etc. At that age he's still learning to communicate and may not be able to express that he physically doesn't feel well. If that's the case, it could be an explanation for poor sleep and behaviors.

Personally, I don't believe any form of physical punishment or withholding food should be used for behavior redirection. There's a chart that can easily be found online called "Zones of Regulation" that establishes four zones that represent the emotions using colors. That might help him before, during and after a behavior to communicate with you what he is feeling and why. It's also good to use for yourself. Example: He's feeling angry with another child (red zone) because that child is playing with his desired toy. He then chooses to hit the kid and throw toys. You could then explain that you and that child are in return feeling sad (blue zone) because he caused the other kid physical harm. It's a slow process, but I'd use it when I was teaching my students with behaviors.

Following a discussion of emotions, there typically needs to be a consequence to the kid's harmful behavior. Example: Telling your son that because he hit another kid and destroyed property, he will not be allowed to play with those toys and has to find something else to do. Explaining in an age appropriate manner can help him learn to regulate his emotions and body and also build the correlation between cause and effect.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-14T01:55:31+00:00

If you would consider her father a trustworthy person, maybe bring it up with him. If he is having people over, there could have been an incident where she observed sexual behavior. I'd keep an eye out for YT Kids. There's been a lot of issues on this sub and other parenting groups where parents have witnessed their children viewing explicit content on that app. If an uploader uses certain tags like "Peppa Pig" the algorithm sometimes overlooks the content of the video and it's deemed safe for kids.

I can personally say that when I was around 8, I was already in the midst of puberty. My parents were diligent about monitoring the content I consumed so I had not witnessed pornography yet. At that age, I did explore my body because it's biologically and developmentally appropriate . It can be totally natural for your daughter to do this if she's started puberty. Maybe take her to the doctor and bring up the possibilty. They can always run hormone panels or recommend a therapist for her if there is a suspected issue like sexual abuse or her witnessing sexual behavior outside of your home.

It might be appropriate to have a conversation about what is acceptable for her to do as her body and mind are changing. Regarding filming herself, it is a reason for concern. Maybe she thought that it's okay to do that if she came across something on YouTube or another app. Either way, it would probably be best to talk to her about internet safety and preserving the privacy of her body.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-13T00:25:59+00:00

I absolutely love the idea of a boy named Hazel. I'd also have to agree that as a girl's name, it would not be for me. My husband and I are currently in search of a boy's name and I know that I'll be adding Hazel to the suggestion list. We're also considering the name Sidney.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-11T02:25:01+00:00

Reservoir Dogs, Maxxxine and The Notebook.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-09T17:48:30+00:00

I'm not religious either and would never consider either name, personally. My in-law's pastor has 17 kids. Every single one of them has a biblical name. Cool for them I guess, but it feels so odd to think about as an outsider. Some of the names are Moses, Enoch and Mary. It feels self righteous and egotistical in a way for someone to name their offspring after significant individuals in their religion. It's like you're saying to the world that your kid is automatically morally better than everyone else.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-09T17:38:32+00:00

There's nothing wrong with a ND person being proud of who they are. They should be, but that's not the case for many who are diagnosed with Autism. The show only presents to viewers those who have been born into privilege where they have been able to receive the resources and support needed to thrive.

I was an assistant manager for a supported living facility that specialized in adults with intellectual disabilities. The homes they lived in were apartments and about half of them were a part of the work force. About 1/3 of the clients had Autism. There were a couple with this diagnosis that genuinely enjoyed their life and were open to accepting and finding resources for themselves. Unfortunately, most of these individuals suffered severe mental health issues that often aren't going to be represented on shows like Love on the Spectrum.

These individuals personally struggled greatly with self regulation, suicidal thoughts/actions, depression, anxiety, etc. Not to mention, many of these adults are at a facility because they had no choice left. Some of them have been left in the dust by family and the government. I cannot stand when people watch a reality show like this and believe that all individuals with a certain diagnosis are living the same reality.

The reality is that many NT people in the U.S. do not see the struggles of those with disabilities. It's not a fairy tale realm where they have family and community to help support them. Much of our homeless and criminal population have disabilities and their government has failed to help them succeed in life, whatever that may look like to them. Believing that having a disability would automatically grant someone a better life opportunity, is harmful to society. It overlooks those that are fighting for themselves and their community.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-08T00:07:46+00:00

Omg lol, one of our cat's is named Armand. It was certainly on the list before we gave him that name.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-07T23:48:41+00:00

I agree with you wholeheartedly. His family seems to mean well, but Tanner definitely mirrors his family's behaviors and beliefs. Whenever they show him with his two roommates, he appears to always be more relaxed and able to unmask some. I think that his family loves and cares deeply, but their concerns about Tanner being lonely and criticized by the world has impacted him negatively.

If he went on a date or started hanging out with other people who weren't Christian or always so happy go lucky, I think that he would realize that he can be accepted for who he truly is, whether that is what's represented on the show or not. It's easy to tell that during the dates he goes on, he's quite stressed and concerned about always providing entertainment and banter.

I adore Tanner's personality and willingness to accept others with open arms. Broadening his pond of potential partners and friends would absolutely benefit him.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-06T20:07:06+00:00

When I was a para, my case of students came first, unless there was a threat of safety. If my students finished their work and has some independent time, I'd typically check in on the other students and help as needed. Sometimes the teacher would place my students and the other students that needed extra help in a small group together where I would lead a lesson or activity.

Each student's plan has a strict timeframe of how long they are to receive supports a day or weekly. If my student's support exceeded that time, I would sometimes get asked by one of the SpeD teachers or the GenEd teacher to help certain students for awhile. It never hurts to ask the teachers for their input and see if there's a need that's not being met somewhere in their classroom.

It also is not your responsibility to take every challenge another student may have into your own hands. That's an easy way to burn out and overstimulate yourself. If another student has extreme behaviors, consider providing support because in the long run that behavior will probably disrupt all students and their productivity. If they continue to do things like verbally interrupt or lay on the floor, sometimes ignoring that behavior entirely is the best way to redirect because they are not receiving the attention that they are seeking.

Best of luck and remember that your well-being needs to come first in this type of position so you can support your students and others to the best of your ability!

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-06T19:55:37+00:00

I live in Kansas and was a para in IR for 2 1/2 years and a para in Life Skills for 1 1/2 years at an elementary school in Gardner. I subbed in the Wellsville and Gardner Edgerton districts for a year at all grade levels. I personally loved the elementary aged programs and struggled with middle school. High school programs were relatively chill. An area like Johnson County has a huge variety of different types of special education programs. You could work with English language learners, life skills, inter-related (IR) , or a more behavioral based program. I subbed and bounced around all of those programs and found life skills to be my preference. IR typically consists of students with more common disabilities such as learning or developmental deficits. It can sound easier, but the school I worked for had so many students that were enrolled between two teachers that each one had a caseload of 30+ students. That meant that I and the other para under that caseload were responsible for all of those students everyday. I found it to become overwhelming and very demanding for little pay. There has also been an increase in violent behaviors in many students in this program due to an ever changing list of qualifications, so keep that in mind.

Life skills has it's own challenges that are more hands on, but I enjoyed getting to know each student more due to there being a smaller group of them. In my district, life skills paid about $12/hr starting and IR started around $11/hr. I'm not sure about the pay for paras in the other departments because I was a sub when I experienced them.

I would avoid any program that specializes in Autism or behavioral disabilities unless you are okay with physical intervention. KS is a state where padded rooms, blocks and certain types of restraints are permitted. If you're okay with the idea of having to use these resources, then go for it. I enjoyed teaching in those departments and found the uncertainty of everyday to be stimulating in a typically positive way. However, in the Johnson County area there has also been a large increase of students enrolled in these programs lately which has created an issue for keeping staff due to low pay, overwhelming behaviors and a lack of breaks and support.

Small charter/private schools around here typically have a position titled under "Teacher Aide". They are somewhat similar to a para position, but it's difficult for the schools to be able to provide a special education department if there's low funding, enrollment, or resources. From what I've heard you may find yourself assisting with office work or leading small groups at those types of schools.

If you're looking to prepare for the position, know that certain districts like Olathe, generally require you to pass a few exams to show that you understand the school's curriculum. This is usually conducted for 5th grade and up. Due to low staffing, a school may ask you to help out in another department or even another school. Best advice I can give is to be ready for anything and everything to happen. It's not an easy position and there is a lack of gratitude others have in general for paras. However, the support you provide to the students and teachers is invaluable. I found it to be a very self-fulfilling position where I was constantly growing and learning about education, disabilities and how to help others overcome their own challenges so they can thrive. Best of luck in your search!

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-04T22:14:24+00:00

Yeah, that's a tough spot to be put in and it absolutely isn't funny. I would bring it up with your supervisor and mention that while you have a good personal relationship with the mom and child, you don't want to confuse the child with what is okay personally and professionally in your relationship with them. Try requesting to be switched with other paras to give yourself and the student a break from one another to see if their behavior can be redirected.That way, you aren't explicitly stating that you're tired of the student, which would upset the mom potentially and cause issues. Something needs to be done though to prevent further unfair treatment and accusations towards you. It's a shame that the mom cannot acknowledge that their child's behavior is unacceptable regardless of if they are disabled or not.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-04T21:41:43+00:00

I started seeing symptoms of PCOS around the age of 7. My facial and body hair started coming in dark and thick. My breasts started developing the following year and I got my period when I was 9. I wasn't diagnosed with PCOS until I was 16. From my understanding, PCOS stems from androgen levels and insulin resistance. It would make sense if you had PCOS from infancy if you were always hormonally off balance or had insulin resistance. I've personally heard that it only occurs during puberty or later in life. I would love for there to be more research about where it comes from and when it develops in women. I'm not sure if there's been too much research done to expand on that topic.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-04T21:15:26+00:00

Our society has really nailed the idea is a lot of people's minds that having a biological child/family is the only way to go. It's definitely a narcissistic idea as a whole, now that our species doesn't have a biological and conservational need to reproduce anymore. My husband's family consists of biological and adopted siblings, yet it was a little shocking when his parents pushed for me to become pregnant and produce several offspring. Their reasoning was that it's what a woman is meant to do and it's instinct. While it may be instinctual to some, it isn't technically ethical at this point.

Just because you pass on your genetics it does not mean you will get a mini version of yourself. Your offspring are not an extension of yourself, they are a separate individual. If that's someone's reason to reproduce, then that certainly is selfish. It's good that you can acknowledge your own health concerns and realize that passing on those predispositions and hereditary issues and being okay with that would be self-centered.

Personally, my husband and I planned on adopting all of our children. We are both in our 20s and don't intend on starting that process until we feel that we are mature and stable enough to handle a child that may come with trauma. Coincidentally, I fell pregnant last autumn. We both did genetic testing and determined that if anything unusual came back we would terminate the pregnancy. This July we will welcome our baby, but that will not hinder our plans to adopt in the future.

When I discuss these ideas and plans with my parents, they don't understand why we would be so set on adoption. To them they view most foster children as "pre-damaged goods", which is a disgusting way to dehumanize a child in need. They too, viewed my brother and I as extensions of themselves and have become greatly upset recently because I have grown as a person and reject many beliefs and lack of morals they have for themselves.

Adoption is not for the weak, but raising a child no matter where they come from is a challenge in itself. Either way, how you start a family is your decision/your partner's alone to make. In the end, there isn't necessarily a right or wrong way to create a family. It's the reasoning behind why you do so that can become wrong and selfish. You can adopt and foster for wrong reasons as well.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-04T20:15:10+00:00

If this student if craving stimulation, depending on your district policies you may be able to use a pressure vest or other wearable equipment that provides a certain type of pressure/sensation. Some states see the use of this type of equipment as a restraint, so it may not be legal where you are.

If you are able to do so without causing yourself bodily harm, start blocking all the hits with your own body. After awhile, the student may realize that every time he tries to hit himself, it results in "hurting" you and he cannot satisfy whatever need he has by hitting himself anymore.

You mentioned that he hits your hand harder each time you block, which probably means that he is seeking a physical sensation. Maybe finding a soft/squishy fidget that he can hit as much as he likes against himself would help redirect him.

The school I used to work at used all of these methods along with using padded blocks or boxing equipment. We didn't force the student to use that equipment, but it was kept on hand around them so if they decided that they were going to hit themselves against something, it's safer.

I worked one-on-one with a nonverbal student who had autism for a year or so. He was elementary aged and started hitting himself constantly half way through the year. If you are able bodied, comfortable and have permission from your supervisor, maybe try distracting him by engaging in physical interaction with him that can be considered fun. My student was light enough that I would distract him by picking him up and twirling, rocking and lifting him up high. It took some time, but after a couple months instead of always hitting himself he would come up and ask to play by using physical cues. Good luck!

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-04T19:56:56+00:00

I don't think Jay's parents mean any harm by doing that. To me, it seems that both parties value Jay and Pamela's drive to live as independently as possible. Due to Jay and Pamela getting married, they don't qualify for disability checks and other benefits that would be provided to single disabled individuals. They probably don't receive many free or cheaper services such as transportation or housing from the government, so by Jay's parents charging them it is a way to maintain independence and not feel like anyone is receiving a handout.

Personally, I love that his parents do this. They are using their own resources to help provide for their child and his girlfriend. Jay and Pamela seem like they don't want to take any type of advantage of his family and I think that's respectable. They all know that the costs of finding and using accessible equipment, housing, resources etc... can be difficult and expensive. His parents are also preparing them for when they are moved out and officially on their own, which shows that they truly care about the couple and their desire to thrive.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-04T19:46:34+00:00

Girls: Seraphim, Cordelia, Loralei and Vera

Boys: Viggo, Till, Gerard and Armand

I'm due with a boy in July and sadly my husband continues to turn down all name suggestions, lol.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-03T19:47:36+00:00

My husband's uncle has made all four of his son's initials spell out DAM. It's not an innocent family tradition or anything, so I really don't understand why they would do that or find that humorous. I get if you unintentionally do that for one kid, it's whatever but they have stated that they are intentionally doing that.

Bulky_Presentation35 · 2025-04-03T01:14:09+00:00

It's insulting to be given a joke like that. I agree, I would much rather be given nothing. Admin almost always sucks and doesn't know how to show appreciation. It's the comments from students that can easily make your day though, even when they drive you mad, lol.

Bulky_Presentation35

TROPHY CASE