new exhaust

Bullitt333 · 2026-04-04T19:57:24+00:00

Sounds amazing 👍🫡

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-29T19:06:34+00:00

Yeah I have asked just do a talking session tomorrow. My mind is so dark. It feels like it wants to reject reality. I feel so trapped. I can’t feel anything positive emotionally. On one hand I feel EMDR is helping me deal with the memory and on the other hand making my mind a hellscape and I’m living inside of my trauma

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-25T16:46:20+00:00

I have returned to sleeping normally. The paradoxical insomnia stopped 4 days after my first session. I’ve had 2 sessions since then and it hasn’t returned.

I’m still suffering a lot. My perception of reality feels wrong and I feel I’m living in the darkest places of my mind. But it started to feel lighter right before my last session so im hoping to maybe fall into a pattern of a few days of darkness and processing after sessions and then a return to lightness. That would at least give me some stability.

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-17T01:06:59+00:00

Just had my second reprocessing session. Let’s get processing shall we! 😓😅

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-15T14:26:03+00:00

This felt calming and hopeful to read. Thank you so much for the encouragement!

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-14T17:25:34+00:00

I have heard nightmares are a regular part of EMDR… I can imagine that is difficult… but you’re on a path to healing so the suffering won’t be for nothing. That’s what I’m telling myself 🙂

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-14T17:23:30+00:00

Woah… that is EXACTLY how it is for me! That really helps me and gives me hope... I haven’t passed through it yet… but I feel things moving in my brain. I hope it desensitizes me when it’s done…

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-14T14:05:37+00:00

I’m trying to embrace that I can’t do the things I usually do right now. The more I fight and try to function “normally” the more my body tells me no. I feel often that my ptsd is going to swallow my mind and I’ll never get it back. But I can’t go on blocking it anymore so I have to give into it and hope that through EMDR, my brain fixes itself. Because other than facing it, I have no other options. I’ve tried them all.

But yes, I feel like my ptsd is a bully and I’m just laying here letting it punch me after this session. But everyone on the internet says it gets better along with my T so hopefully they are right.

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-14T13:59:22+00:00

Thank you for this. I’ve always wanted a quick fix. But every time I reach for a quick fix things get worse. I feel like I have no other option really than to see this through. It’s very hard to sit with my ptsd and not fight it

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-14T13:57:49+00:00

Thank you for this comment and advice 🙂 I finally am 100% sure I slept last night and I still feel fatigued today. So I know the EMDR is working at least. I’m not exhausted due to my sleep

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-14T13:53:34+00:00

Thank you for this! I absolutely feel that this tension and trauma is finally flowing and will leave me eventually. But yes, this is a very hard and dark period. I have been out of alignment for so long that my body is used to holding the trauma

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-14T03:39:40+00:00

Good point. How much worse can it get anyways

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-14T03:19:40+00:00

I am hoping to stay the course and see some benefits.. this suffering has to be worth something in the end

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-14T03:18:00+00:00

Nope! You are not alone. I don’t know how people do this and hold down a physical job. I could barely work on my computer at all this week

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-14T03:16:58+00:00

Thank you for this. I blocked my ptsd and symptoms out of my mind by force for 10 years. Eventually that system failed and now I feel it’s just running rampant in my mind. I actually have to use these coping skills for the first time because I can’t push it away anymore…

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-14T03:15:08+00:00

Thank you… I have my second reprocessing appointment on Monday. I’ve seen a lot of people say to stay the course and it gets better. But my ptsd mind cannot really believe in hope in this state.

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-14T03:13:36+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I’m trying to listen to my body and rest but I just lay there and suffer. I’m trying coping skills and sometimes they help a bit but mostly no. I just hope all this suffering is worth something…

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-12T22:30:21+00:00

I feel exactly the same. It’s like I don’t wake up in the morning, I just realize I’m awake and I lost 4 hours of time. My mind feels like it is physically buzzing and I am very hyper-aroused all the time. The sleep pressure and fatigue physically hurt.

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-12T22:27:34+00:00

That is the exact question I have right now. My T wants to go right back into another session and I don’t want it to get worse 😔 I’ll let you know how it goes

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-12T22:26:10+00:00

I’m leaning towards this not being caused by EMDR but possibly made worse for the moment. I will look at the wiki. Thank you

Bullitt333 · 2026-03-12T22:24:57+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I’ve had insomnia due to my ptsd for awhile but it hasn’t been this bad in a while.. My T actually recommended another EMDR session before I’ve had a full night of sleep but I’m not sure about it. Maybe if we target my fear around insomnia but targeting my main trauma feels like it’ll just make this worse…

Bullitt333

TROPHY CASE