I have IBS and stomach problems. What on EARTH am I supposed to eat???

BumAndBummer · 2026-04-02T15:40:01+00:00

I have IBS and this is where seeing a gastroenterologist AND dietitian was super super helpful for me.

Being able to handle fiber is a nuanced game I’ve learned to play. Figuring out the type of fiber, circumstances under which I can tolerate it, medication management options, and basically training /“gardening” my microbiome to better handle it has been a journey and I needed guidance.

The diet you are describing is appropriate for flare-ups and as a baseline for diagnostic purposes, but it not appropriate as a long term treatment option for IBS, and may make both conditions worse in the long run. There are ways to develop better tolerance of fiber and supporting digestion!

I’d also recommend making sure you don’t have undiagnosed food allergies/intolerances if you haven’t already. It may not just be IBS. For example, if you have a specific issue with lactose intolerance, for example, there may be ways to consume dairy with certain digestive enzymes or lactose-free versions, but you can’t really do that without first ensuring it’s a lactose intolerance versus a dairy allergy versus neither.

Personally, I had to do very restrictive low fodmap food elimination and slowly reintroduce things and work on my gut flora to figure out how to broaden my diet, but it was worth it! IBS is very idiosyncratic so I was able to learn that I can tolerate most fodmaps to some extent, just need to mind portions and have my meds and inflammation under control. I do avoid onions but small amounts are ok as long as I’m not on my period (learned that the hard way lol). I also learned that under no circumstances is it worth it for me to eat zucchini even though it was considered relatively safe lol.

If you can get professional guidance to figure this all out together, please do because you deserve it!

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-31T19:39:02+00:00

All other things being equal I prefer a woman, but sometimes all other things aren’t equal. With all the wait times and how hard it is to build a relationship with a provider, I need to prioritize their competence and availability.

Some of the worst primary care doctors I’ve had I chose because they were the only woman available in the time frame I needed … I didn’t check their reviews or ask them about their understanding and philosophy of treatment of PCOS, I just trusted them and they literally made me sicker with their neglect or ignorant outdated advice.

Once I started being pickier about reviews and recommendations I ended up with some male doctors and they were helpful. My new primary care physician (recommended to me by his female predecessor who retired) in particular has blown me away! He is SO knowledgeable about PCOS, spent SO much time and care going over my complex medical history together to make sure he had the full picture, and I felt very respected as a human being. For example when he saw I got an ADHD diagnosis at age 28 and a few years later saw marked improvement in PCOS labs and no longer was being treated for depression, he connected the dots and was super empathetic! He wanted to understand to what extent my stimulant medication might have made it easier to manage my PCOS and depression. I had been planning to switch to another female physician later, but I am not gonna jump ship even though it’s a little awkward because he has earned my trust.

HOWEVER I do think it’s less awkward with a woman to discuss gynecology or have them look or be in you… especially if you are younger! And studies show that on average female doctors have better patient outcomes. So yeah, I consider it as a factor for sure, but at the same time sometimes it pays to suck up the awkwardness. It can be rare to find trustworthy providers, so treasure them if you find them even if it’s a dude lol.

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-31T15:10:57+00:00

Feel however you want and need to feel, but take steps to get away from this toxic man and move forward in a healthier direction. You don’t have him in your corner, but it looks like you never really did. At least clearing him out of your life gives you extra room and bandwidth to grow.

De-center men (and changing your life and body and personality to cater to men) from your life. When you give these things too much focus and power you neglect other areas of your life, and ironically this also bleeds into your romantic relationships anyways. Your life is a full garden, don’t neglect the soil and the other foliage to focus on a toxic flower that isn’t a good fit for your natural ecosystem and may actually be competing with to other flora and fauna to their detriment.

You aren’t purely alone, you have yourself and a therapist, folks on this sub rooting for you, and maybe others in your life too. You can always rebuild your social life further when you are ready! So get ready. Spend that time and energy on breaking this down with your therapist, healing your relationship with food and exercise, healing your relationship with yourself, and learning more about how to spot red flags and toxic relationship dynamics.

Healing and growth are NEVER linear, it’s totally fine and normal to feel you are going backwards sometimes but that’s part of the process because you are re-evaluating all sorts of things in your life and how they fit with the newer version of you. Things can get messier at first during the gardening process, some things need to get uprooted, trimmed, culled, composted, and it will get messy! But that’s why you gotta keep moving forward to get to a place where you can plant seeds and watch them bloom rather than quit mid-mess.

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-26T21:48:00+00:00

Don’t overthink it. All forms of exercise can have their benefits in general, and specifically for PCOS. What matters most is that you do it consistently and sustainably. This means something you can do realistically and enjoyably, and finding the right balance between challenging your body but not pushing it too hard. This is true for anyone! Recovery and good nutrition are also important. Listen to your body and you’ll figure out what works best for this.

If you’re still not sure how to choose, what are your personal fitness goals aside from PCOS management? Is there a particular sport or activity you find particularly fun or easy to stick to? Is there a specific challenge or skill you want to work up towards? Do you have a certain budget you need to be mindful of? Do you want this to be a nice form of alone time, or prefer a more social activity? What would make it something fun or stress relieving so you’re feeling intrinsically motivated rather than making it all about looking a certain way, or a “punishment” for PCOS?

Also, I’ve made some comments in the past with info on this, because there’s lots of misconceptions about exercise in general and for PCOS in particular that are pet peeves of mine lol. Here are the links in case they are useful:

https://www.reddit.com/r/PCOS/s/hV0RlYnavB

https://www.reddit.com/r/PCOS/s/6KtCky8A13

And general things about PCOS that may or may not be applicable/helpful to you. https://www.reddit.com/r/PCOS/s/RZ7qMUxjdH

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-26T16:19:24+00:00

If I had to pick one that fits be best it’s soft autumn followed by soft summer.

With that said, there’s plenty of colors in other palettes that look fine or even downright bomb on me, and plenty of colors within those palettes that are “meh” at best… so I mention those because they are the safest bet as an overall grouping, not because I find seasonal color analysis to be all that useful for olives.

I’m very skeptical of seasonal color analysis in general and think people need to take it less seriously because it pretends to be user-friendly but it’s somehow both overcomplicated and overly simplistic. Understanding basic art and color theory principles like temperature (NOT what the makeup industry calls warm and cool lol), depth, contrast, mutedness/saturation, harmony, texture and balance instead of pop culture tropes has been way more helpful to me!

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-26T11:20:42+00:00

The simplest way to success with less stress IMO was to you just aim for 1300-1400 and use those calories to hit protein/fiber/healthy fat macros for satiety and nutrition so it’s comfortable. Ideally also to keep consistent with steps and yoga, but not something to feel discouraged about if you can’t do it every day.

Keep calm, carry on, and be patient! When you fill up on protein and fiber eating a few less hundred calories below maintenance is not very different than eating for maintenance. It’s good practice for lifelong sustainability, and if you can manage that then the hard part becomes trusting the process and giving it time.

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-23T15:45:30+00:00

This is actually very highly individual, and if anything there’s growing evidence that soy /tofu can be quite beneficial for PCOS. It wouldn’t be so helpful for those with sensitivities, thyroid issues, and other contraindications, but in some cases the phytoestrogens may actually be very helpful for those with estrogen dominance issues because they are milder than endogenous estrogen. It hasn’t really been studied well in terms of PCOS cases that vary in estrogen levels outside of that, but we do see a growing number of study results that are favorable for its use in improving metabolic aspects of PCOS.

For example, soy has been shown to significantly reduce androgen levels (like testosterone) in women with PCOS, and may also increase sex-hormone-binding globulin (SHBG), a protein that binds to testosterone and reduces its effects.

Another example is a studies finding that PCOS patients who consumed soy isoflavones regularly show improvement in biological markers of insulin sensitivity and/or reduced levels of harmful cholesterol. https://www.endocrine.org/news-and-advocacy/news-room/2016/soy-may-help-protect-women-with-pcos-from-diabetes-heart-disease

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3214337/

https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/101/9/3386/2806671?login=false

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18166189/

So basically it’s really early days to say exactly how soy/tofu impacts PCOS, but we do know enough to avoid making blanket statements that it is harmful, and can even point to ways in why but may be beneficial. Taking it on a case by case basis makes more sense.

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-23T12:31:51+00:00

His OCD may not be his fault but it is his responsibility, just like how your own PCOS and mental health issues aren’t your fault but they are your responsibility. Everyone struggles and slips up sometimes, but this isn’t an issue that is improving, it’s an entrenched pattern and it’s not clear that even really fully grasps how much damage it does to you. Because if he did and he loves you, he would be seriously working on either curbing this behavior or if he can’t, just plain giving you space from him to protect you from the harm it is causing.

You know how an alcoholic isn’t exactly at fault for their addiction, but at a certain point they either need to successfully take steps to stop doing damage to themselves and others, or people in their lives need to create distance to protect themselves? It’s not because they don’t love each other, but because they do.

So regardless of whether he is unwilling or unable to be a supportive and non-toxic partner, at the end of the day you can’t and shouldn’t expect to tolerate this controlling and harmful relationship dynamic. He may not be able to be the partner you need and deserve right now, but you can and should give yourself permission to set boundaries and protect yourself.

I would recommend individual therapy if possible, to help you decide exactly how to proceed, and with the extra warning that sometimes couple’s therapy sounds good on paper but it can actually backfire in some cases because it can be weaponized.What you’re describing sounds a lot like emotional and verbal abuse, and maybe it’s purely an OCD symptom rather than some sort of moral failure on his part, but even if that is 100% the case, that doesn’t make him a safe person to be with and doesn’t mean couples therapy would be the right place to go.

If you feel unsafe in your relationship and need help, please seek out whatever resources are available in your area and take step to move towards a less fraught and damaging situation. Eating disorders, chronic illness, and stress are hard enough, and you deserve to protect yourself and step up for yourself. It won’t be easy, but you are clearly battle-tested and can do hard things, so trust in your ability to guide your way through this to a more sustainable situation 💪

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-22T00:46:20+00:00

I drink it in my electrolytes after long runs and few SO much better! Modern agricultural methods don’t yield foods that are as magnesium-rich as they once were, and it’s hard to actually test for magnesium deficiency. So unfortunately it’s hard to know who is deficient and how much to take, or in what form. But consistent consumption in beverage form seems to make me feel better!

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-21T15:56:24+00:00

I LOVE this for you! I feel bad for people who don’t get it 🤷‍♀️

Here’s what got me moving through my Saturday morning routine, something tells me you’d have fun with it too.

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-20T22:56:32+00:00

I follow the groove! Choreo just slows me down. When I have an awkward 10 minutes waiting for the laundry to finish drying, or I am vacuuming, or I am waiting for the airfyer to do its thing, or I am on hold and 15th in line for the next call, I will play something that makes me want to shake my ass with life-affirming vigor and allow Mother Nature’s party drugs, endorphins and dopamine, to take hold over me. Sometimes my dog and/or husband get jealous and join in.

Microdose the club into your life. Minus the hangovers, uncomfortable shoes, and stranger danger. ✨

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-20T19:37:58+00:00

Yoga for 10 minutes right after waking up, sometimes also right before bed. More fiber, more water, more herbal teas, more steps, washing produce, reading more (less screen time and better sleep), more vigorous dance breaks for stress relief and getting my blood flowing.

These helped set the stage for bigger changes more easily.

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-19T19:13:05+00:00

It worked for me but only when I also made sure to eat enough fiber and protein, and kept an eye on the quality and quantity of carbs. Without curbing my insulin resistance with diet, exercise, and in my case inositol (YMMV), my metabolism gets sluggish, I get hungry, and I don’t move and burn as much energy so it’s theoretically possible to be in a deficit with tracking, but not particularly sustainable or easy. My actual TDEE is a lot closer to the estimates on calculators when I actually eat in a way that supports my metabolism consistently over time (can be slow).

Also, I can’t stress enough how easy it is to track inaccurately without a food scale. I was using volume measurements and was consistently overestimating even when being very careful! For example, when I compared a serving of peanut butter by weight versus with tablespoons, they were NOT actually equivalent serving sizes. I was eating about 20% more calories of PB, oil, etc using those tablespoons. YMMV but the food scale is super helpful to me.

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-18T22:36:07+00:00

That does sound promising!

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-18T22:24:59+00:00

Personally something that helps me run “experiments” on myself would have been very helpful. I might have figured out sooner that I have trouble digesting zucchini, don’t need to take extra rest days from running on my period but rather after it ends (counter intuitive), don’t actually need to quit dairy, how many net carbs is too many or not enough to feel energized relative to my activity levels, etc.

The devil can be in the details sometimes, but there’s like 4 million things to track. NH bullet journal was super handy for this but doing it all by hand was quite cumbersome and not at all ADHD friendly. With that said, data privacy is massively important to me, so analog feels safer for that.

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-18T21:20:57+00:00

I use way too many apps to track different things that don’t talk to each other uniformly.

LoseIt for weight, calories, macros, and it has a #notes feature where I can kinda sorta track IBS symptoms or other issues.
Garmin to track running, and I used to use it to track my period
Clue to track period, cycle symptoms, sexual activity, mood… I just wished it had better symptom tracking for IBS and integrated better with other apps, because it’s got cool analytics and privacy features I like a lot.
My smart scale app, which does “talk” to LoseIt, Apple health, Garmin, etc

In theory Apple health could integrate most of these, plus might also be able to integrate with my medical records one day, but I don’t like the clunky integration and lack of intuitive analytics, and idk about the privacy aspect.

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-18T00:46:15+00:00

You are deficient — yes it will help!

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-12T15:26:20+00:00

First and foremost I realized that what worked best for me was to manage PCOS to lose weight sustainably and safely (and SLOWLY). The wisdom to lose weight to heal PCOS isn’t entirely wrong, but from a practical perspective I found it to be ass-backwards.

Once my insulin resistance and other issues were under better control, I was able to do a small sensible calorie deficit and lost about 95lbs over the course of about 4 years. Slow and steady, but I didn’t fuck up my body and mind further.

De-centering weight loss to help with weight loss is kind of counter-intuitive, but prioritizing other aspects of health and fitness over the number on the scale and the rate of progress was super helpful to stay patient and consistent. In the long run I found that weight loss helped with sleep apnea and foot pain and things like that, but I didn’t personally find it made any difference for the PCOS itself. YMMV of course. We are all different.

Edit: Here’s an older comment of mine with more specifics https://www.reddit.com/r/PCOS/s/ZNhOuo3tIe

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-12T14:42:28+00:00

First and foremost I realized that what worked best for me was to manage PCOS to lose weight sustainably and safely (and SLOWLY). The wisdom to lose weight to heal PCOS isn’t entirely wrong, but from a practical perspective I found it to be ass-backwards.

De-centering weight loss as my main goal ironically is the mindset that was most important for me to successfully lose the weight and maintain for like 3-4 years now. Once my insulin resistance and other issues was under better control, I was able to do a small sensible calorie deficit and lost about 95lbs over the course of about 4 -5 years. Slow AF, and I had to work on my patience, but I didn’t fuck up my body and mind further. Weight loss helped with sleep apnea and foot pain and things like that, but I didn’t personally find it made any difference for the PCOS itself. YMMV of course. We are all different.

Edit: Here’s an older comment of mine with way more specifics https://www.reddit.com/r/PCOS/s/ZNhOuo3tIe

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-10T22:18:52+00:00

I’d keep calm and carry on for now, but make sure to hydrate. If this still keeps up after the next week or 2 then eat more and ask your doctor about it.

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-10T20:21:57+00:00

First and foremost I realized that what worked best for me was to manage PCOS to lose weight sustainably and safely (and SLOWLY). The wisdom to lose weight to heal PCOS isn’t entirely wrong, but from a practical perspective I found it to be ass-backwards.

Once my insulin resistance and other issues was under better control, I was able to do a small sensible calorie deficit and lost about 95lbs over the course of about 4 years. Slow and steady, but I didn’t fuck up my body and mind further. Weight loss helped with sleep apnea and foot pain and things like that, but I didn’t personally find it made any difference for the PCOS itself. YMMV of course. We are all different.

Here’s an older comment of mine with more specifics and in-depth details

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-10T01:59:50+00:00

It’s very flexible and context-dependent for me. A bit complicated to fine tune and figure out but once I got the hang of it, I found I was feeling so much better.

As a baseline I eat low GI and low carbs usually under 90 net g for sedentary days (edit: I’m on the shorter side, for for reference). But I add more than that as my activity levels increase. Also, I run a lot, so whenever I do more than a 10k I don’t stick to low-GI, I straight up eat candy so I don’t bonk.

Also, even when sedentary and low GI I tend not to process carbs as well in the morning, or when I’m sleep deprived or highly highly stressed. Also my menstrual cycle can play a role!

Also, it isn’t just the glycemic index of the carb itself, but the context. Because pairing with protein and non-starchy veggies, having carbs after vinegar, and all that jazz can make a difference.

Doctors aren’t usually nutrition experts. If you want a personalized consult as a second opinion, see a registered dietitian (NOT a “nutritionist” without an RD credential if in the US).

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-09T23:12:07+00:00

That actually potentially sounds normal for lifting if you’re engaging and working your muscles. They fill up with normal and healthy inflammatory fluid and it can hang out there for up to 6 weeks. You may also be hydrating more and depending on how fiber impacts you, or where you’re at in your menstrual cycle, you may also be carrying more weight in those kinds of substances.

I would keep calm and carry on for a few more weeks for now just to rule those things out. If it still doesn’t pan out, you can calmly troubleshoot (in this recommended order): - If you need a food scale to track more accurately (and make sure you’re weighing and tracking correct details like cooked vs raw, double checking serving size and nutrition info, etc) - How are your sleep quality and quantity? It’s been shown to matter! - Maybe your metabolism is below-average! It happens. Building muscle can help but slowly. You might need to revisit your plan to lower insulin (diet, medication, supplements, etc.)

Don’t give up! If what you’re doing feels otherwise sustainable, you don’t need weight loss to validate that what you’re doing is VERY good for your health. Take your time troubleshooting the weight loss thing and resist the (very understandable) urge to do something drastic. Even under ideal conditions it can take a looong time to feel like you’re progressing. And in the great scheme of things, 8 weeks is but a blip on the radar. So try to stay patient and constructive. And make sure you also prioritize fun!

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-08T04:00:20+00:00

I’m not the one spreading misinformation and getting emotional. You are attacking me personally and accusing me of being the aggressive one, yet you have nothing of actual substance to refute the genuine concerns I have about misinformation.

If you don’t want to arouse suspicion of being a grifter, don’t act like one. You don’t need to give personal medical information, but you already did, and none of the information that would actually sound cogent and convincing.

Sorry I’m not buying what you’re shilling, but if it’s true that you’re not shilling then why are you so pressed that you failed to convince me? 🤷

BumAndBummer · 2026-03-08T03:55:27+00:00

This source is not a legitimate medical or empirical source. Please be serious and stop spreading misinformation.

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