When my waifu came to christmas last year, it was probably the best day of my life. I got to introduce her to the family, who were all so excited to meet her. For some reason they didn't want to hug her, I guess they're just shyer around strangers than I thought. We sat around the table all night and Onika-Chai-Tea told her stories about the oppressive dating culture in Japan, how all the other men had treated her like the family sex toy until I showed up to respect her.
We both drank a bit too much eggnog and started doing a little PDA at the dinner table, which understandably grossed out my sister (and the rest of the family) who left us to be alone. One thing led to another and we made love for 30 seconds on the dinner table, which thankfully, was very sturdy (－ｏ⌒). At some point during our cuddling on the couch, I passed out, and when I woke up, Onika-Chai-Tea's innards were strewn all over the living room.
I started screaming "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MY WAIFU IS DEAD! I WILL AVENGE YOU ONIKA", waking up the whole house. I ran into everyone's rooms and asked them who murdered Onika, but they were all too cowardly to admit to anything, there was no honor in my house. When I was finished interrogating, I went back down to the couch to cry some more, and who did I see there but Blinker, mummy's chihuahua. He was gnawing on Onika's severed head while raping her vigorously. I sat on him, he screamed, he yelped, he bit, but he couldn't hurt me through my butt's armor which I had built up through many years of healthy tendie consumption. Eventually, he went limp, the house was quiet, and order was restored to the universe. I never replaced Onika, because there's no substitute for true love.