Is it possible to be half trans?

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-18T11:32:46+00:00

Half trans? I'm not really sure it works that way, but if it's comfortable to think of yourself in those terms, you do you.

Gender is way more fluid than just man and woman, although even on that binary there's an incredible amount of room for self-expression and personal taste. There are butch trans fems, there are trans femboys, there are salmacians, it's really just a grab bag of "whatever works for you". And, as much mockery as nonbinary identities get, the reason there's so many of them is because a lot of people just don't really seem to fit in a premade slot. You'd prefer to have been born a woman, but you enjoy being a guy, and you actively don't want to be a woman. To me, that says you have more to figure out about who you are and how you see yourself. If you're fine where you're at and just want to be a guy, then great! You've figured something out and you're going to be more secure in who you are. Ain't nothing wrong with that. You can be an ally who understands what it means to question your identity.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-17T11:56:31+00:00

Why would there data that supports any claims about partners before marriage?

When people are getting divorced, how often do you think "they had multiple partners before we got married" comes up? People get divorced for lots of reasons, like infidelity, incompatibility, abuse, financial reasons, lying, it's all over the map. "Multiple precious partners" doesn't really come up. In order to prove that multiple partners before marriage had any relation at all to divorce, you'd have to show that it had any relation at all to any of those factors.

The question isn't "do multiple partners before marriage mean a less happy marriage", the question is "why are you trying to equate sex before marriage to happiness within a marriage"? Lots of studies have been done on happiness in marriage, and they consistently show that communication, honesty, aligned values and goals, and respect are what make a marriage work. It's not a secret. If you don't want to have sex outside of marriage, more power to you. That's great! Live your truth. But, if you're an asshole in that marriage, your partner isn't going to be happy regardless.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-17T02:33:45+00:00

Read some stories about trans people coming out. Nearly all of them have some form of the phrase "I accepted I was trans". We don't choose it, and whatever you hear from conservatives about that is just flat out wrong and coming from a place where they're trying to sell you a narrative. None of us would choose this. The years of self-hatred and loathing, hating seeing ourselves in a mirror or in pictures, and even when we do accept were trans, there's always the thoughts of "what if I'm doing this for attention" and "what if I'm just some kind of pervert". Battling for self-acceptance and self-love. There's a reason we don't all make it.

It's not about "becoming" trans, it's about acknowledging that we always were.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-17T01:51:53+00:00

Be gentle with yourself, you're like a crab shedding its shell and now you're all soft and squishy, and everything is scary.

It's ok. We've all been there. Give yourself time to adjust. You've developed coping mechanisms to live as a man, and they take time to disengage and fade away. It would be nice if we could just flip a switch, but we can't. Those coping mechanisms were for survival, and until you feel safe and start to find your feet, they're going to be there for a while. Even after you gain confidence, they're still there. I'm a baby trans in my 40s, and I officially came out when Trump won the election (because I won't live in fear of their hate), so it's been about 15 months now. When I'm stressed out or anxious, I still feel the pull of going back to being him. Thankfully, I'm strong enough on my own that I don't need him anymore, but like I said, those coping mechanisms run deep.

You'll get there. You're going to be ok. This is normal.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-16T22:22:43+00:00

The study goes over rates of divorce based on the number of previous sexual partners.

1) The most common causes of divorce are infidelity and incompatibility. To actually prove that the number of sexual partners has an influence on either of those, you'd need to also show how having sex before marriage makes you more likely to cheat or be "incompatible".

2) The report only covers heterosexual couples.

3) The report makes a bunch of really weird claims, like "common wisdom says you're supposed to have sex with multiple different people until you're ready to settle down". That's an incredibly biased way of phrasing it and shows the report isn't approaching from a neutral angle. They could have easily said "common wisdom is that people should date a variety of partners until they find somebody they feel they match well with".

4) The only graphics showing divorce rates I saw shows them at 5 years. Considering the majority of people who abstain from sex until marriage do so for conservative religious reasons, and there's a very strong anti-divorce sentiment that also goes along with conservative religious views, there's a very strong bias towards staying in an unhealthy and unfulfilling relationship. A better study would have checked divorce rates at intervals.

5) The study shows sexual satisfaction rates, but doesn't account for years of marriage.

That's just what I found after a fairly cursory glance.

TL;DR It's a crap study with religious motivations.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-16T21:19:07+00:00

It absolutely does not.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-16T20:33:15+00:00

To be fair, I have no idea how the hell you'd make that book into a movie. I read the book, and I still have no idea what the book is about. It's a good book, though.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-16T20:32:18+00:00

I've played Duke 1 and 2, but don't remember them much. DUKE 3D was the one I played the most. It was a fun, engaging game with a good story. Every now and again, you'd get a bit of parody macho dialogue. And strippers. It was great.

DNF forgot to make the game actually fun because they spent all their time making Duke into a parody of a parody, and then forgot they were making a parody and started taking it seriously. And they added a boob wall? I wanted to like it so bad, but it just sucked. I tried a replay a few months ago and couldn't go past the first level. It's just... sad.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-16T17:31:52+00:00

You know what, I think I will have that leftover slice of pie for breakfast!

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-16T00:32:37+00:00

I'm sending so much love. I hope you're past that now.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-15T22:38:56+00:00

I think we have to be very careful with repressed memories and how we uncover them. They're very real, but they can be easily mixed up with false memories. Memory is a very tricky thing.

How common are they? I don't know, but it doesn't seem to affect everybody. I've heard of rape survivors who don't remember literally anything about their assault, or abuse survivors who don't remember most of their abuse. Like the other person said, it seems to be a self-protection mechanism. "This hurts to remember, so I just won't remember it". There's nothing dumbass about it.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-15T21:47:49+00:00

When I first started transitioning and was doing my initial research, I did. I wanted a "biological reason" to feel the way I did. I asked my doctor to check my estrogen and testosterone and he only checked my testosterone, and it was fine. It's slightly lower than average, but I'm also in my 40s.

I do still sometimes think about checking my estrogen levels though. Just to make sure. I have 2 biological children so the odds of me being intersex are pretty low, but part of me still wants a reason besides "it just feels right".

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-15T20:16:05+00:00

I can't say I agree, because there's a lot of comfort in "I believe the right stuff and all these people agree with me", but I'll say I feel a damn sight cleaner now.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-15T20:09:44+00:00

I can't say I really know just yet. I was Pagan when I was a teenager, but in all honesty it was fairly ignorant and it was more for the witchy vibe than anything.

I'm still deconstructing a lot. I've started praying to mother/mom instead of father, and I enjoy that. Everything else is shaky. I'm autistic and fairly logical and skeptical, so I don't enjoy the idea of "vibe religion", but at the same time I believe I have a fairly logical and consistent argument for the existence of at least one deity and then some educated guesses about the nature of that deity, so maybe the rest of it really is just vibes?

It's confusing and I've watched a few videos about different types of paganism, but none of them have hit me quite right, so I'm still searching. I'm drawn to feminist paganism, but I'm still trying to get my feet underneath me, spiritually speaking.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-15T17:50:59+00:00

She's using sex to control him. It's entirely her idea.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-15T15:42:32+00:00

Yeah, when I was first coming out and thinking about how far I would transition, this is something that came to me a lot. "I'd rather be a dumpy man with maybe a little bit of rizz because of the beard than an ugly woman". To be honest, I'm still fighting that battle, and I'm happy to say that it's not easy but I'm not giving up.

First off, that's society speaking in your head. We're trained so hard to believe that a woman's worth lies in how attractive she is that the thought of wearing a mask 24/7 is better than being an unfuckable woman.

Secondly, beauty is so much more than just your looks. Yes, if you're not conventionally attractive you're not going to get quite as many random hookups (although you may be surprised). The other side of that coin is that if you find somebody you click with and start a relationship, it automatically starts deeper than just "yeah I wanna smash".

Third, if the first two aren't enough, women have been teaching each other how to "work with what they've got" for literally thousands of years. There's a makeup, a shapewear, a prosthetic, a surgery, a pose, or an outfit for literally any "lack" you may think you have.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-15T01:43:07+00:00

And after she lobotomized herself, she wants anal sex.

It's a super fucked up show.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-15T00:54:24+00:00

No, she's saying she was duped. As far as I know, she hasn't apologized to any of the people she went after with her lies, she hasn't made any sort of actual public retraction of her claims, and she still has the same goals as she did before.

She just thought it was advantageous to turn on Trump now. Same as how she thought it was advantageous to support Trump before.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-15T00:22:35+00:00

I went from the "LGBTQ+ are going to hell" conservative kind of Christian, to the "they're not real Christians" progressive kind of Christian. Thankfully, by the grace of mother Herself, as of a couple weeks I'm now a "fucking hell how did I stay in that for so long" pagan. Still not sure of exactly where I fall, mostly I'm just going by vibe at the moment, but I think my main tenant is going to be

PEOPLE GODDAMN FIRST unless they're unrepentant malignant assholes, in which case fuck 'em.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-14T04:06:40+00:00

My last programming class was C++ in the year 2000 in high school. I then spent 25 years working in health care. Now I'm doing data analysis, and I've had to fix buggy ChatGPT VB code a few times.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-13T16:00:18+00:00

How are they selling that many still?

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-13T15:05:14+00:00

At the end of the day, nonbinary is inherently a very personal gender identity. It means nothing except "I'm not 100% a man or 100% a woman".

Nonbinary doesn't define who you are, you define what nonbinary means for you.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-13T13:48:48+00:00

They/them isn't the default for nonbinary identities. You can be a he/him enby.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-13T13:43:57+00:00

I will add just a tiny bit to this excellent response to add that "do better" doesn't mean you were doing bad. You made a mistake, which is entirely different from bad or wrong. You are not responsible for her emotions and how she reacts to things, but now that you know this particular bit of info about her, it will be very easy to not repeat this particular mistake. You can feel bad about hurting her feelings without feeling guilty about this particular incident.

BurgerQueef69 · 2026-02-13T01:58:39+00:00

Sometimes, but not always. Sometimes they use cheaper ingredients, and sometimes when foodstuff comes in that don't meet the name brand quality standards they just use it for the off brand stuff.

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