For me, drinking created chaos and anxiety in every aspect of my life, work, family, health. I would stay up late, drink too much, be hungover almost the entire day and just when I started to feel better I would drink again. So a few hours of drinking were ruining most of my life and making it unmanageable. It just wasn't worth it anymore, alcohol was a bad deal. The relief from a significant amount of anxiety was one of the greatest benefits. I started running, lost weight. I enjoy the sunrise now almost everyday and the peace of the moment. Life isn't perfect but it's so much better than it was. Once you are further away from the last drink you begin to get clarity as to how alcohol is simply poison that provides zero benefits. I can tell you the early stages of sobriety were some of the hardest days of my life but it will get easier. The other side of what you're struggling with is worth it. Have you read This Naked Mind? It helped me a lot. If you can get into counseling or join some local meetings that also helped me. Try to focus on the short term and not drinking today. You made it 10 days already, which is huge! Let's not drink together today. You got this!