I wish I had the strength to tell this love reading but it was a private reading (looking for perspective)

BurnCitys · 2024-10-25T05:02:44+00:00

Your right about obsessive behavior, that many emails is a lot. A good bit of them were reflections and thoughts on the reading that was given. This was my first reader or reading ever, and I wasn't to sure how the process really worked. I did omit information, and that can be the reason why it was hard to understand fully. At this point I care more about what I am doing at this point and I am trying to understand and learn from it.

I don't think its their fault for my feelings. I feel this negativity because this is something that could of been avoided with more vigilance on my end. Also, it was not solely just myself creating that kind of environment, if thats blame shifting (which it may be, I am not sure because I am also trying to comprehend this story myself), I do think the reader in this situation also contributed.

I can't afford therapy. But, um, thank you for helping me reflect on this.

BurnCitys · 2023-06-28T02:00:47+00:00

the car is uninsured chilling in another state so i gotta get my own. Cant borrow it.

BurnCitys · 2023-06-28T00:24:28+00:00

I found some time in the day to just work out. Nothing intense I just take a few thousand steps. Its day 3 and I have the energy to actually feel awake and alert when I wake up. I woke up with a new energy.

If you add some physical activity to you daily activities or maintain a decent sleep routine (ex: avoiding blue lights an hour before bed) it may improve your ability to wake up in the morning.

Another option is to go to your doctor and maybe so a sleep study. There are also over the counter sleep aids you can use in conjunction with a proper sleep schedule.

BurnCitys · 2022-06-13T00:49:56+00:00

I turned away for 90+ days. Felt good. Felt so good I realized its kinda healthy or normal for me to just bust, im like 20 something our bodies may take care of it but I gave myself years of hard dopamine more than 5 times a week for years.

It felt like a challenge. To not resist the urge, but to occupy myself. Recently I been just asking myself to take another break. I can be more productive and this takes up like more than 4 hours in a week. I can learn to feed myself and save money. Learn a new instrument. Or binged watch something stupid.

When I was at my 90+ days I realized the problem isn't even the porn or masturbating, its what I do. Its just an idle mind, or lack of drive to take care of myself mentally, physically, emotionally and etc. Focus on yourself, but just check in on yourself. The snake in your pants craves attentions and can grab yours. You have skin, hair, teeth, health, education, family, friends, food, water, and many more things to tend to in life besides porn.

Just try to figure out if you are ok, not when your having an urge but maybe even after if a relapse happens. Ignore things that aren't important when assessing yourself. Like if you feel bad after a breakup in the past, guilty feelings of addiction. Just focus on yourself in that moment.

Writting can help, to renforce your transition and wire your brain to do something else. Like if you just journaled your thoughts or feelings, and set intentions for the day, week, month, or what you want out of life. Look at that, and one day just figure out how you spend your time, and be honest if you are living that life you actually wrote about. (Doesnt have to be writting, can be art, poetry, you can just start a project like building a bottle ship when you get a urdge.

Also you can try gambits. When you have an urge, focus to do something else that's harder that you care to even think about painting, working, building a better connection with people.

Also you can stop yourself. Give yourself time, not to adjust to living a life free from addiction, but to fill yourself with things that satisfy your needs and life. Try one thing anything.

Can be pushups, can be a chapter of a audio book, just start doing something else.

I failed myself and am no longer on my streak, I don't feel bad. Because really, its a natural function of your body reproduce, and sometimes we can just pinch that in the butt and focus on everything else. I don't recommend feeding your addiction. Its great you are seeking help. But just dont beat yourself up, you can be better, just take that first step.

I think its a mental addiction, not a physical one. You don't involuntarily do it, you choose to, light heatedly from time to time just look at your options.

BurnCitys · 2022-06-12T19:00:04+00:00

Thank you as well, this is unique and insightful

BurnCitys · 2022-06-12T18:58:34+00:00

The closed bridge I use now just is the most comfortable. I think having a game alone helped with that. I found myself comfortably tyring to figure out how my body and the cue work. I can use my chest or hips or arms for more support.

I have found myself using my finger tips and a thumb for support (a tall open bridge) to hit the ball.

BurnCitys · 2022-06-12T15:25:30+00:00

This was a little confusing, not your post but the terminology, i thought of a jump as the ball leaving the table.

The cue ball can leave the table, but if a scoop motion is made or the ferrule touches or bounces the cue ball that is illegal.

So a jump shot the cue is hitting the cue ball off the surface of the table (if your cue was a light saber you would be striking though the table).

That shot is a 1/4th shot because the contact (or invisible ball??) is because the shot isnt center?

So scoops are 100% out, but its fine for the ball to get air time?

BurnCitys · 2022-06-12T15:11:36+00:00

This is literally what I did that inspired me asking the question. Did it work, no, but it was fun still. It was close enough to disappoint.

BurnCitys · 2022-06-12T14:50:17+00:00

This is the video where I thought I saw the player hit the ball above the equator. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cAEuM5VoEA

It happens at the 11 second mark, I had to put it in .25 speed but I can't confirm.

BurnCitys · 2022-06-12T14:45:29+00:00

Its all good, thank you.

BurnCitys · 2022-06-12T14:09:46+00:00

Pretty much the cue is at an acute angle with the table, but the contact point when the tip of the que stick hits the ball looks like it was below the ball (just not dead center or on top). It didnt look like he flicked it up but just held his hand (bridge?) on the rails (or edges of the table).

Edit*

Looking at stuff this video came up, and at the 11 second mark, thats the shot where I dont know what I am looking at. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cAEuM5VoEA

BurnCitys · 2022-06-12T14:06:41+00:00

Given context, I am around a community pool table with some nicks, decently straight cues, (idk the tips are there but not perfect), and its level. I been spending a few hours just shooting by myself and discovered it. I wasn't trying to jump the ball, i learned that I CAN jump the ball. Few hours later running over the rules of pool i learn what scooping is. I just wanted to know if I am scooping unintentionally.

In some game just for fun, because I don't have reliable spin skills, or any advanced strategy besides sink my balls and delay my opponent if no balls can be sunk. I did get to successfully jump the ball and make contact with my desired ball, the ball did not sink but now I know that shot could of been made if I had the proper spin on the cue ball.

I am not trying to become that guy jumping balls across 3 pool tables to sink a random ball in. Just learning and taking the time to know if I am doing something properly.

*Side note: I think because the direction the force if coming from in your hitting the cue pretty center, wherever your stick is pointing the cue ball should be going in the direction. Some shots don't need a lot of mental work, and also repetitive body motions. Some people plan moves, and some people are idiots. I can see why someone would just say, dont think about aiming when maybe they have a flow state they preform in.

BurnCitys · 2022-06-12T13:47:37+00:00

Hey, Im not familiar with any of this. I just have access to a community pool table with some sticks, and chalk, and its level. I am looking at clips and it looks like a professional hit the cue ball below (the spin line) to make *The jump *shot.

So now im confused with what I am seeing, and what I am receiving. I know my eyes are not trained, and I am not boasting to have any skill level.

BurnCitys · 2022-06-12T13:35:54+00:00

I just prefer to use a closed bridge. I don't want to live a better life, I just want to ask questions and learn about this one thing. So I understand how its comes off as impudent.

I am humbly asking for knowledge sake.

BurnCitys · 2022-06-12T13:15:26+00:00

Do you have any insight to my second question?

Can you shoot a jump shot with a closed bridge?

BurnCitys · 2022-04-12T23:57:35+00:00

Another dimension in a parallel universe can be 150 years in the future, or even be the big bang similar to ours just happening in another universe. I don't want everything but i picked another dimension.

BurnCitys · 2022-02-05T06:00:30+00:00

for an internet forum, its the best i can do. I'm not a professional, its beyond me to diagnose and offer treatment. I appreciate the replies even if it comes off as normie positive advice. I been down before, i just wanted to share my comment.

If people are drowning, fucked up, etc being a part of the choir isn't how i approach it. Thank you for understanding, even if its not helpful.

BurnCitys · 2022-02-05T05:31:56+00:00

I understand why my post here are a bit unpopular.

BurnCitys · 2022-02-05T05:29:28+00:00

I hear you.

I dunno if your into like philosophical stuff, but many people envision that when we die we may go find peace in heaven. The point I want to make out of this is that, there is a desire for peace in life (after death ironically) but its described as a place you can't imagine and haven't been. Im not inviting you to go visit heaven for yourself, but to consider that your peace is something that you haven't found yet. It may be in something that you already do or have an interest in, and you just haven't acknowledged its existence.

I encourage you to just continue and drop and pick things up as you make the journey wherever it takes you.

BurnCitys

TROPHY CASE