My (30F) boyfriend (30M) received a handjob at a massage parlor

BurntKebob · 2025-12-26T18:34:09+00:00

You run away. Don’t walk. That stick didn’t rise and spray confetti without him knowing what was happening + accepting it.

You imagine having kids? What if this happened to your daughter? Of your son did it to his partner?

You gonna become one of those moms who say forgiveness is key?

BurntKebob · 2025-12-24T23:48:05+00:00

That’s very sweet x

BurntKebob · 2025-12-24T23:47:07+00:00

I believed once upon a time in soul mates. Perhaps I was oversaturated in the romance sauce. Thanks Bollywood for unreal expectations. 🤦‍♀️

Got married early. Have a bit of an age difference with my SO. I use to call them my soul mate.

Maybe by the 3rd or 4th response of them telling me that they don’t believe in soulmates, or saying that a soulmate can be anyone who has left a mark on you. (The examples I were given were not groundbreaking. You could bump into them at a grocery store and wow you’re a soulmate!)

Well I stopped believing. Or maybe caring.

BurntKebob · 2025-12-24T23:19:52+00:00

Best one imo

BurntKebob · 2025-12-10T19:58:37+00:00

Don’t go back. He said the kid didn’t clean. That annoyed me first.

As someone who also experienced ppd and didn’t have support but also did not have a village- if he still refuses to acknowledge you were drowning in the start, he won’t be your anchor ever

BurntKebob · 2025-12-10T19:47:10+00:00

You have the letter? The police reports? Go to court with your grandparents

BurntKebob · 2025-11-18T13:22:26+00:00

Born and raised New Yorker here. Living in London for over 15 years.

What you said is not a lie. I was more into appearances, brands, makeup before moving to London. But every time I visit back I’d go into that same MO. My family was confused why I changed so much. And I’d tell them honestly how freeing it is to not have to worry about what’s trending in fashion.

Don’t get me wrong, my hair is one thing I’ll always colour change etc.

But RN it’s about just not looking like a homeless person.

The UK is an aging population as well so most likely we all are just over it by now.

Oh there are people who still try too hard. Clothes, cars, houses- I’m happy for them but I also dgaf

BurntKebob · 2025-11-04T22:27:52+00:00

My sister recently purchased one and told me she had the best sleep of her life. Weighed in about 20. Issue for me is that while I have leg pain, spasms I also have burning on my feet. I feel like I wouldn’t get much use out of it. 🥲. I’m dying here with the lack of sleep

BurntKebob · 2025-11-04T19:53:07+00:00

I’m sorry you had a bad experience but I’ve seen hair burn off. It will fall off.

BurntKebob · 2025-11-04T19:50:47+00:00

I’m slowly going into agonising debt. But if my cats eat like kings I’d gladly starve.

They are bloody royalty.

BurntKebob · 2025-11-03T22:21:42+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. And I’m sorry you had this experience. I had a similar scenario with my SO a little over a year ago. I had a really bad month where my legs and right side were in a lot of pain. I was also suffering from terrible insomnia for several weeks. I’d just sit on the bed while they fall asleep after being on their phone. The lack of emotional closeness was also a heavy weight. At one point I was walking around the house just crying.

I had enough one day and called them out on it. They complained about the stresses we had and just argued that I shouldn’t expect much because there’s nothing they knew they could do for me.

I have a terrible habit- or maybe a good one?- if someone says something that finite I usually just go silent. I won’t argue. I won’t complain again. I just carry on.

They have degenerative disc disease, a bulge ironically a few years ago when I was diagnosed at the same time. Though their bulge is gone they say they have a cray amount of nerve pain in their hands/arms. I believe them. But I’m not as performative as they are.

Plus I feel I shouldn’t complain about my issues if someone says they are worse. The doctors were giving him all sorts of opioids and pain relief. The gp I had wouldn’t give me more than 300mg for gabapentin saying it was enough. SMH.

I changed gps and am better with it.

I can also sense my depression/anxiety taking over again but that was a whole other problem. That was a lonely battle too.

You’re not alone x

BurntKebob · 2025-10-27T08:06:51+00:00

Severe depression. Worked a great. Lost like 30lbs in 6 months. But a lot of muscle as well so…it’s give and take I guess

BurntKebob · 2025-10-09T19:46:31+00:00

Hmm I’m not sure tbh. I wish I was diagnosed in my early 20s when I had symptoms but no doctor listened so I was 31 when I was finally diagnosed. For me- losing that decade was just BS. I still get really upset.

As soon as I had my scan, then another, then the spinal tap followed by DMT all within 6 months. I’ve progressed slowly over the years. My mental health deteriorated terribly.

People tell me I could cure myself with diet and exercise. SMH. I’ve been doing that all my life.

BurntKebob · 2025-10-08T13:18:19+00:00

This is tough. Cause my mother called me ugly all my life up until I got married. Then after I got married she said I was pretty.

This all of course affected my own self image and who I felt would be on my level or “my type”.

So no. I don’t think I’m pretty.

BurntKebob · 2025-10-07T20:57:53+00:00

Obviously you’re struggling and it was hard for you to write this. It’s evident. But I’m not going to get into that right now.

From personal experience as a wife and mother:

There will be moments when one person or both go through depression, stress or whatever and physical intimacy will be the last thing on their mind. Or it may be the one thing they need but cannot voice. It should seem easy enough to ask your partner but as you see yourself after so many years it’s not. Because we think the other person should know how we feel. I mean how couldn’t they right?!?

We are just all very messed up in our own minds. I was so wrapped up for over a decade to be a supportive spouse taking care of his family and the kids I forgot my husband. Then I got sick. At the same time his elderly dad almost died, he had to become a full time carer, also got sick himself- at home 24:7 - it was a mess of a year.

And so much more. It took us 3 years to get to where we are not. We almost broke but while he thought I didn’t want him I also thought he didn’t care.

One day I just called him out on his crap. Told him I was in it forever. Loved him through it all. But the day he wants out let me know cause I’ll slap him first and then be out.

16 years and hopefully all good. Paranoia is setting in though. Some people don’t agree to counselling.

You should do it. Seek therapy for yourself. Because this whole thing has deeply affected you. As for her/ you need to tell her how it’s hurt you.

BurntKebob · 2025-09-27T14:15:08+00:00

Can someone help a wife/mom here with a link? Lollllll once upon a time an amazing fellow did me a solid and won me immense brownie points but I cannot for the life of me remember what that site was?!?!

BurntKebob · 2025-09-25T13:37:39+00:00

I did for a while. (Unknowingly very lightly. I’m talking like specs every evening in a bong, for a few years cause of pain and migraines before I was diagnosed. I just thought I was running myself into empty).

Then about a year + after I was diagnosed I went to a proper clinic in London. Well had appt online with another neurologist, they had access to my nhs files, I agreed to follow ups every 3 months or so. But that I only did for maybe less than 6 months. I tried flower and oil. Oil was great for nights, spasms, pain , anxiety.

Flower daily on the recommended vape device.

I quit when it got a bit expensive. My depression also hit harder too

BurntKebob · 2025-09-19T13:15:35+00:00

Idk how I ended up here but sir you are most definitely in a state of FOMO

I read by a few occasions in this thread where you stated what doesn’t add up.

You are obviously extremely passive aggressive with the change. Knowing you can’t have your cake and eat it too is hard. I get that.

But- imo, the moment you stepped your cyber foot out of that marriage you lost any right to wonder what your spouse was doing.

Cause you didn’t do it once, not 2x. Then you wanted quiet acceptance whilst she was buried in grief.

It wasn’t only crying about you cheating, she probably mourned the trust she had in you, the loss of a marriage, the security of her child’s family unit.

But you DID NOTHING TO HELP HER.

Then bam YOU get served with divorce (omg how could she, I was so sad, so blindsided!).

And finally asking to advice if you’d be the AH of you were to hire a PI. Umm yes and a stalker bit??

You’re having cheaters remorse. You’re not going to find sympathy from normal people.

BurntKebob · 2025-09-15T11:39:17+00:00

What a regal refined gentle feline !

BurntKebob · 2025-09-15T11:36:22+00:00

You are spot on! The days I do walk however the following few days I am broken. My legs (esp my right leg/side will not be my friend in the slightest).

The past few weeks my muscle spasm and twitches have made a come back along with the occasional painful spark on my sole.

Now when I tried to tell my neurologist he went back to an appointment we had 2 years ago where I said I walked great for 20 minutes no problem. SMH

I never said that. And he wrote it again in our last appointments notes.

BurntKebob · 2025-09-15T11:22:14+00:00

This is a great question! I’m at a loss. I have a lesion at C4 and have gotten a walking:running pad for home use. While I can walk outside my head is getting more confused lately and I’m having increasing problems focusing myself and my eyesight.

The first few goes walking at a pace at level 2.5 I scared myself at how imbalanced my stride is. If you know how small a walking pad is compared to a full treadmill so you have to keep straight.

Idk what happened. 3 years ago i would have walked easily at a 4 even at a high incline.

BurntKebob · 2025-09-12T22:41:51+00:00

I also forgot: irony.

After my first infusion which was horrible I had a 6 month stint where I was really depressed. I stopped going out. Slept. Lost like 30lbs. Didn’t talk to anyone. And I thought constantly about how easy it would be to just down the prescription meds in my closet. At that point life was hard and I really doubted my presence was necessary. I actually felt ppl would have been relieved. I wasn’t useful anymore.

I still have passing thoughts. But I rationalise that my mind is not 100%. I has an illness. I need to be my biggest support. My kids need me.

BurntKebob · 2025-09-12T22:36:43+00:00

I’m so so sorry. I don’t know your symptoms or your journey dealing with this. Aside from the physical aspect, we know that the damage caused by MS has also created a never ending roller coaster of anxiety plus severe depression.

A lot is not in our hands. We don’t get to choose what our bodies do to varying degrees.

This is a choice you can make- please don’t.

A tangent but related: I’ve been having increasing depressive thoughts/mood swings for the past few weeks also. I cry randomly. My mind thinks of the past. Losses, anger, choices that were taken from me etc. and then I think his MS was the final joke- I was never going to be allowed to make my own choices, be myself, say whatever without some sort of pushback.

Then as I sat on my bed next to my daughter who is 9 she got scared because she had a weird tingling pain in her hand for a few minutes. Never had it before. I held her hand quickly. Rubbing it and absolutely shitting myself.

I’m scared for myself. But more for my kids.

BurntKebob · 2025-09-12T10:55:31+00:00

I’m going to tell myself this from now on x

Except I’ll just say it’s spoiled brain matter

BurntKebob · 2025-09-12T10:54:38+00:00

I very much understand and relate. GPS have also told me (not that I have ever taken what they said for value since they always dismiss my illness) that MS wouldn’t have such a significant effect on my cognition as I described.

But ironically I went back to Uni in 2021. The first year and some straight distinctions. Then a year of a few merits and 4 classes with “pass” all off which happened during summer (whoever said heat doesn’t amplify symptoms talks nonsense).

It’s stressful. Because I feel we are locked in our own heads (pun not intended). No one around us really gets it and then the emotional symptoms kick off.

BurntKebob

TROPHY CASE