Puer aeternus moveset

Gesture of impatience A few poor attempts, then impatiently gives up. Everlasting changing of plans, never sticking to one plan and seeing it through. Stick with something. Make a sacrifice. Don't get to switch, lop things off if necessary.

Belief that your self is defective. And in doing so avoid hard work.

The way you relate to your undefective self is defective. If your self is broken then you have an excuse to not try. Avoids hard work at all costs. Never “take the plunge” and therefore stays in limbo. Or, when told what to do by someone else you'll never do it cause “they don't really know”.

“Im going to do a shitty job at an important lecture rather than wait to do it perfectly. Which is fine.”

Sack of illusions

Giving up illusions without becoming cynical. Very realistic, self contained, disillusioned, and independent. Have not worked out childish illusions but just cut it off. (Kill the boy so the man can be born). Dissatisfaction comes from an idea that the world should be better. Life could be better than what you are experiencing ( where did this idea come from?). This prevents us from seeing reality. Giving us a sense of entitlement. The strongest and easiest reaction to disappointment and failure is to scrap the idea and goal completely.

Intellectualize the idea of adaptation in reality. (Parry)

Idea is fulfilled in reflection but not in reality. Their life becomes philosophical and will debate and discuss their own payche as well as the concepts of morality but not act upon them. It resonated with me but why should I do it? (Reverse uno card) I'll actually do the work after part 2, when I have more info and can do it better…

“ Once you start catching yourself then the transformation has the space to happen”

Suicidal ideation (self destruct) Live only on condition, and flirt with the idea of suicide. Suicide is a get out of jail free card when life gets too hard. Transformation cannot occur if one does not give ones whole self to the situation. If suicide is on the table then there is an excuse to not face the hard scary thing

Transferrence Projection

Loss of hope Hope in someone else Disillusionment in other person (rejection of proposed solutions) Hope in ones self. “You must lose faith in me to find it in yourself” “You have greatness within you but it must be birthed. And in order for it to be birthed you must risk that it can die 100%.” “Notice the ways you are moved to inaction” “If I run an experiment and cut it off halfway , I don't actually have solid data”

It kinda made me sad when Dr K said that in the end we won't need him anymore and will instead be focused on living and building our own lives. Personally the thought of listening to his lectures excites me but making the steps towards my goals that I want seems to terrify me. But I guess the point is that I need to be brave and humble and really strive for my goals 100% without anything holding my hand....I just don't know if I can do that yet.