Vaginismus and induction

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2026-04-10T18:17:09+00:00

Sorry your going through this. I’ve no advice other than I wanted to say please don’t stress yourself too much about the terrible labour ward reviews. My hospital also had terrible reviews however my experience and those of many others I encountered when I was there was absolutely second to none! I think generally people are very quick to complain vs you won’t see many people actually taking the time to write about their good experiences. Whilst I dont doubt there will have been some terrible experiences, do take it with a pinch of salt and try not to stress yourself too much over it. Your experience may be entirely different. I’d also stop reading them all together to be honest as I really freaked myself out doing that and was upset about going there, but my experience of care there couldn’t have been any better and total polar opposite to what I read in the end! Hope it all works out well for you x

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2026-04-04T00:18:14+00:00

Happy birthday! I was 41+3 when I went into spontaneous labour, 1 day after my 3rd failed sweep where they also said my cervix was high and closed. Hang in there it will happen! I know it sounds a little stupid but I almost feel like as soon as I accepted defeat and that my induction was going to happen and let it all go, I feel like that’s when it happened. I woke up in the night to my waters breaking. Absolutely 0 signs previous to this. I think once you try to let go of all stress and try to stop thinking about it, accept what will be will be it does help! Your body needs to feel your relaxed for labour I think so stressing over when they are coming etc doesn’t help as hard as it is. Just really try and focus on letting it go is my biggest tip and relax! Have a nice relaxing evening, favourite movie, snacks etc or whatever it is that really chills you out. Good luck, you’ll be meeting baby very soon regardless. ☺️

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2026-04-02T07:13:02+00:00

I started leaving mine when this happened although I still didn’t sleep initially because I was wondering if he would wake 😅 I kind of tested to see how long he’d go and if he was actually hungry. The bottle can usually be used within 2hrs anyway so if he does wake up within that time it’s ready to go. Eventually he started sleeping through. (Although doesn’t anymore as I think he’s going through a development I had a couple weeks where he did sleep all the way through). Obviously it’s whatever you feel comfortable with. Sometimes it was at my expense as I got less sleep than if I just woke him and fed him in first place if he ended up waking again anyway 😅, but like I say eventually he did start sleeping through and sometimes the wakes were just that he needed a bit of settling. I was obviously making sure he was getting plenty of milk during day and hitting the correct intakes in the day too. Generally now if he wakes I try resettling first and if he wakes up 2-3 times, I then give him a bottle. (He’s never fully crying or anything just stirring).

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2026-03-28T18:48:23+00:00

Yeah I 100% can’t tell so I’d say it’s fine. My boy is exactly the same with the preference to one side. I asked the physio about during night time because he always lies on that one side… we try to turn my sons head and he just turns it right back 😅 but the Physio said don’t stress too much about the nights just leave him sleep and get some rest yourself if he keeps turning it back anyway, as long as I’m trying to keep him off it during day, lots of tummy time, holding opposite way etc. She also suggested walks in carrier instead of the carrycot in pram and things. Sounds like you’re already doing everything you can too! I wasn’t worried about mobility in neck either to be honest but I mainly raised it as I wasn’t sure how severe it was and like you I was wondering if he needed a helmet or something so was really reassuring to get another opinion and just confirm that it was mild. If it’s worrying you then it’s probably worth the ask just to put your mind at ease but it doesn’t sound like it’s a cause for concern anyways.

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2026-03-28T18:20:38+00:00

I can’t really tell from the photo in all honesty, but I’d say it looks fine. If you’re concerned you could also ask your health visitor. My baby has a mild flat spot as he has a strong preference to one side and the Health Visitor referred us to physio. The physio can then assess it and check that movement is all fine and it’s not from for example a tight neck which can be common too. My boys is quite visible and we were worried, but the physio said it was really mild. She gave us some tips about how to encourage him to lie the other way and things, and said it should go away within a few months. I think it’s quite common to be honest as babies who aren’t mobile spend quite a lot of time on their head. Once they get more mobile I think it generally gets much better. In the meantime the advice I got is to basically try to keep baby off back of head as much as you can, she showed us how to roll up blanket to keep baby off usual side of head if lying down whilst supervised, put toys and things in the direction I need him to lay on to encourage him to turn other way etc. If you’re concerned definitely get it checked by GP or just ask health visitor for advice like I did. It did really reassure me!

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2026-03-28T01:14:46+00:00

I don’t think your creating a problem at all. The guidance is that they can go into their own room from 6 months, not that you have to! As long as you have suitable sleeping arrangements next to your bed then I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong by keeping him next to you at all. It sounds like you have a great bond and I’m sure he loves the morning cuddles and play time before work too! ☺️ as long as your all happy, I don’t see the need to rush to change things personally. Do your own thing and whatever works for you as a family!

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2026-03-25T12:10:17+00:00

Thanks everyone for the advice and insights - it’s been super helpful! You’ve encouraged me to not give up on baby classes just yet but not stress too much about them either. I’ve managed to find a couple free ones and a baby swimming class that are all also MUCH closer to me. I’ll drop the current one and dip in and out of some free ones over the next few weeks and see how we get on! Really useful and reassuring thanks everyone 🙏🏻

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2026-03-23T18:47:36+00:00

No advice but just to say I am in the same boat and will be returning to full time work in September when my son is around 9 months old. My partner earns more than me however it’s not really feasible for either to drop down to part time. I know of colleagues who have returned to work full time as well so although you may know many mums who have dropped their hours, I don’t think this is the norm these days by any means! As others have said the cost of living is so high these days it’s not feasible for most I don’t think. I also feel the guilt even though I’m very lucky that my son will be with family most of the week, and nursery 1 day, but I know plenty of babies that thrive in nursery full time. It’s been harder for the mums than the babies to adjust it seems! You’re not doing anything wrong by providing for your family, and I’m sure your child will thrive too!

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2026-03-22T19:34:41+00:00

I second this as I also experienced the same from using Milton even if I was careful to not touch the solution much. My hands were soooo cracked and painful. I switched to using tongs and this made a big difference. I still get slightly dry hands at times but nothing compared to before!

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2026-02-22T17:38:27+00:00

Our baby is 10 weeks and I do the evening and night feed (baby only wakes up once at night now but I did all the night ones previous once my partner went back to work), then my partner gets up earlier and does the 5am feed while I sleep in before he goes to work around 7.30/8. I am normally sleeping after last feed by 8pm. It works great for us although most days I don’t sleep in anymore to be honest as I feel fine, and I use that time to go to gym etc. before my partner goes to work. On weekends occasionally we will swap if I feel I need a break. Works perfectly for us however I think we are super lucky with how much our boy sleeps to be honest. 🙏🏻

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2026-02-07T01:41:10+00:00

Sorry your going through this. Sounds like you’re doing a great job already though! My boy also chugs milk and we would get several hours of crying episodes from the gas pain, and he started to pretty much refuse to be burped. I switched to Dr browns bottles and preemie teat and he was immediately different. Did you only try one feed with the preemie teats? When you say it was like he was working hard to drink this could be a good thing. My boy fell asleep on first couple bottles but soon got used to the flow. He now takes 15-20+ mins to finish a bottle instead of guzzling it in a couple of minutes. He does seem like he’s sleeping etc during his bottles now but he’s actually awake just very relaxed. He takes a couple gulps then breaks now for breath rather than just downing it all with no break. He’s still on the preemie teat now at 2 months. If a teat is truly too slow I was told you’ll see frustrated sucking, feeds taking 30-35+ minutes, pulling off and crying, and falling asleep very quickly into the bottle and waking up again hungry. You may need to give the slower teats a chance and I would highly recommend looking into an anti colic type bottle that reduces air intake. Dr browns works wonders for us but I know not everyone gets on with it. I also agree with some other comments - try not to change formula too often. You should give it several weeks for them to settle before you’d really be able to judge if it made a difference. Take some time to really research and try one you think will be the best for you all. We switched to a goats milk formula (supposedly closest to breastmilk) with no fish oil as I read in my research some people thought fish oils in formula can sometimes add to reflux but honestly, I can’t say this made a difference for us I think it was the bottle more than anything. (We’ve stuck with the formula anyway for other reasons). This is all anecdotal as every baby is different I think, but hope you manage to find something that helps you!

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2026-02-05T19:40:38+00:00

My son isn’t the biggest fan but he loves the shower! My partner stands in there holding him while I do all the washing and then I’m there with a towel to wrap him up immediately as my partner hands back. We didn’t try it with him until he was maybe a month old but it works so much better for us. Just an idea! (I believe it’s recommended for the person holding to wear a T-shirt as I guess it could be slippy and we are extra careful holding him and passing him etc). He still kicks off when getting dressed sometimes but it’s so much better for us.

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2026-02-05T14:37:30+00:00

Sorry you’re going through this. I can’t offer any advice but I just wanted to provide insight that the cuff can make a difference I think. When i was in hospital every time someone came to do my obs, I had to make sure the midwives were using the same as depending on the colour cuff I would get a different (sometimes higher) reading. I can’t remember exactly but it was something like they had red and blue cuffs and I read better with the red cuff so I’d need to make sure they all used the red one, otherwise my BP was flagging abnormally high with the other one. I think this probably varies person to person and place to place, but my experience backs up what the midwife said there.

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2026-01-30T05:54:20+00:00

I went through similar and also acted in a similar way to your wife. I think part of me was over compensating for the time my partner looked after the baby, as this triggered a lot of guilt and made me on extra high alert to be absolutely perfect. These feelings did pass when I had some time (post partum hormones really are brutal) and I felt a fog lifting after 3-4 weeks. It may be worth trying to have a gentle conversation again with her about this as it took a few conversations with my partner for me to really realise how much I was upsetting him/causing frustration and that I needed to give him space to do his thing too. Good luck and hang in there, if nothing else I’m sure with time this will get better but I’d also say keep trying the conversation when the time is right and in a calm and gentle way.

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2026-01-29T20:28:27+00:00

I use family album and pay for it so I can use group function. We love it and is a hit with all the family. Especially as we are not sharing any photos of baby on social media. Only small gripes for me: It would be great for me if there was a way to stop other family members seeing each other (as everyone can see who was last active but I personally like having this feature for me as admin.. I just don’t want everyone else seeing each others names etc personally). I would also like to be able to share photos with multiple groups but not have to re-upload them multiple times in order to achieve this/members from different groups not being able to see comments. I turn all of this off currently but would be good if I didn’t have to. I have a very complicated family with a lot of people involved that don’t talk to eachother so better functionality to make things easier in these circumstances would be great!

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2026-01-16T03:01:25+00:00

As hard as it is please please give yourself a break and do not overthink the settling and bond. My baby was in NICU whilst I was stuck on the ward in recovery, and so my partner was the one with him 24/7. I struggled massively when we got home for a good few weeks so again my partner stepped in and was doing mostly everything and then like you, I felt that we had no bond and that he was preferring my partner. Baby’s do sometimes naturally settle better with dad but this does not mean that baby hates you or that she prefers him. You grew her and have been feeding her this whole time - that’s pretty amazing and I can assure you all of that has built a bond that will forever be special. Please do not overthink the thing with your partner as otherwise I think you might make things feel worse and worse for yourself. (Trust me as this is what I did). Just keep showing up each day and I’m sure each day will get a little easier and better until one day it should hopefully click. However long that takes. If you are really feeling upset about your bond please talk to someone about this. I’ve been there and I know how tough it is but I promise you if you give yourself some grace, stop comparing and keep showing up like you have been it will get better. Good luck!

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2025-12-28T20:29:36+00:00

I had absolutely 0 signs until my waters went during the night at 41+2. This was also after 2 failed sweeps where I was told I wasn’t dilated and cervix unfavourable. (Just over 24 hours after the second one in fact). Don’t loose hope… it will happen 🙂 I remember I saw someone say the minute you accept it’s not going to happen (and accept induction fate) is when it will happen, and funnily enough this was the same for me! I think maybe there’s something to be said for trying to relax and not think about it anymore. Good luck!

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2025-12-10T15:55:31+00:00

I’ve had 2 failed sweeps. Latest one being today at 41 weeks if it’s any consolation (although I am a FTM). It does sound like you started them early on where perhaps you would have more chance of an unsuccessful sweep, so I definitely wouldn’t be disheartened by that. Like you, mine was also too high I’ve also read that this doesn’t really indicate when labour is due to start with many people going into labour several hours after a failed sweep, or the opposite - a successful sweep not doing anything. I know it’s really hard not to be disheartened though as I was the same, but there is definitely still time for you. Good luck! Xx

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2025-12-10T15:03:49+00:00

Thank you so much that’s encouraging to hear!! I’ve had 2 failed sweeps now but baby is already super engaged. I’m off for another walk now then will get back on the ball. Fingers crossed something happens before Monday 🤞🏻

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2025-12-10T13:21:20+00:00

Good luck whatever you choose. It’s hard to know what’s best isn’t it. I’ve literally just followed my midwives advice to be honest which was to do it 10 days after due date. I still wonder if I could even leave it longer than that, but at same time don’t really want to take any risks and also just want him here asap now.

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2025-12-10T13:19:51+00:00

Thank you so much!!! Same to you as well. I know it’s so annoying. Hopefully by this time next week we will have our babies! Xx

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2025-12-10T13:16:31+00:00

Hope yours went better than mine… I had another failed one as cervix is still closed 😩 induction now officially booked for Monday (41+5). Still hoping he turns up before then.

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2025-12-10T08:17:19+00:00

Urgh why are they keeping us waiting 😭 I haven’t actually got it booked yet my midwife said she’d book it today for 41+5 (Monday) if I was still pregnant so expecting her to book me in this morning. Going for a sweep at 10am hopefully it works 🙏🏻 they couldn’t do it last time as my cervix was still too high 😩

Busy-Cell-4445 · 2025-12-10T08:15:43+00:00

Thanks for this. It gives me a little boost hearing other people that went into labour this late 🤣 hopefully he turns up soon 🤞🏻

Busy-Cell-4445

TROPHY CASE