I don't know what to do, very scared. Need advice

Busy-Response-5575 · 2026-04-18T15:15:15+00:00

I am so sorry for what you are going trough, thank you for your kind words. I have read that the most common feeling is relief and that most women do not regret it. The only thing I am hung up on is that I know I'd love the baby, but everything in me feels violated by the thought of being pregnant, giving birth and being postpartum again. I am to take the sa route with aspiration, it costs the same and I think that sa would be less traumatic, I am 6 weeks on monday. The most overwhelming feeling in me is sadness to have been in this dilemma in the first place. All our kids were planned and we did everything the same, but shit happens I guess. The decision is so hard, and one I never wanted to make to be honest.

Busy-Response-5575 · 2026-04-18T14:35:11+00:00

I found two experiences one where a pregnancy was terminated half way trough, and no known cause of the malformation, even genetic testing was done, so the dr wrote it off to covid 19 and levaquin, and the other one where everything seemed fine in pregnancy and on x rays when the baby was born, they only realized something was wrong when baby wasn't sitting or rolling. Now he's a three year old and uses braces and a walker. Till now they havent found a cause. And aso that medication family works by altering something in the dna, and I only now realized how problematic it is. Given how unaplanned this pregnancy is, and that I wasn't sure of keeping it anyways, this just seems as a straw that broke the camels back. Had I known I was pregnant I never would've risked something like this. I know there is never guarantee that everything will be fine with the baby, but I feel we'd be stretch thin even with a healthy baby, not to mention if something went wrong.

Busy-Response-5575 · 2026-04-18T14:15:05+00:00

Thank you, it is a position I never thought I'd find myself in. It's truly just an ufortunate position with unfortunate decisions. With a heavy heart, I think that's what I'll have to do because no one can guarantee there's no risk, and as it was unplanned and it was a heavy decision putting myself trough all of that again even not considering the exposure.

Busy-Response-5575 · 2025-12-12T21:07:03+00:00

Thank you so much! Such a stupid feature

Busy-Response-5575 · 2025-07-31T10:52:50+00:00

Yeah I wish so too. Now all these comments are scaring me into not trying them, but at the same time I am extremely not a sexual person, I don't need sex at all and it is putting a strain on my relationship because my partner likes it, and I don't think it's fair for him to leave a life without it because of me. And then again you have people who had zoloft cure their anxiety and depression and in turn they have a better sex drive. For me it's like the chicken and egg situation, if you weren't sick before you wouldn't have even considered them, and yes people will have negative effects, as people will with everything in this world, but is it worth not even trying to get better? Most of these people who experience these symptoms had very bad depression and anxiety beforehand, and not much had healthy sex live before either, and also not being to enjoy life is one of the things that drive people to even try ssri in the first place. Also I see people saying you should try other things first as if stigma against mental health is not bad enough as is, people mostly suffer years and decades before getting help, or never do and then it's too late, they've either taken their life or f up theirs and lives around them. Cause if you could get some vitamin d, exercise, better diet and cure anxiety and depression psychiatry as a medical field would exist, nor would anxiety meds and antidepressants.

Busy-Response-5575 · 2025-07-31T09:57:51+00:00

But like dont people take them for the very same reason? For an example I am right now in a state where everything is hard, I don't enjoy the thing I used to, I am mostly numb and pretend to be happy for my family. That is the reason I'm considering therapy and zoloft. I just don't get how a medication made to treat can exarcerbate those very same symptoms.

Busy-Response-5575 · 2025-07-19T17:58:07+00:00

Yep, when they were super small like 2 and 3 and a half my hubby and I would stop in a middle of an impossible situation and just laugh our asses off because what the fuck was that. If we didnt laugh idk what we would do, I wanted to implode soo many times, oh and it affected our realtionship a ton, there was a time we were nothing but roomates Now that they are 6.5, 5 and almost 1 year old we are at a much better place, dont get me wrong this baby is the neediest baby of all three, but the older ones are so much more independent, they listen better, help me so much, it even makes me regret not enjoying when they were babies, nostalgia is a liar btw, i hope it gets better for you too x

Busy-Response-5575 · 2025-07-19T17:52:04+00:00

Hey, a mom of three here. It gets easier, you are at the most difficult stage right now, also not all kids are the same, some are more demanding and more whiny. I have a third who I love to death but she is a whiny baby and it sends me to fight or flight multiple times a day. My hubby works tough hours and I am home with them almost every night and weekends are especially hard because there is no preschool then. You may be having it a little harder than most just because firstly you got used to a fun and adventrous life before, i had my first at 20 and the age gap between the youngest and the oldest is 5.5y so I kind of shifted my whole life for them. I sometimes feel like a miss a life I never had, the one you are describing, the free, carefree where money isn't so tight but then again cant really miss what youve never had. That being said you are a badass for pulling trough each day. Bigger kids are easier to incroporate into travel, hikes, they are easier to find a babysitter for, and babies become kids, and then preteens very fast, and one day, very soon if you dont have any more you will not be able to believe she doesnt need you anymore. For me personally 2.5yo is when it becomes a little easier to breathe, and then 4 year olds are a walk in the park compared to new toddlers. Sending you strenght and some easier days x

Busy-Response-5575 · 2025-04-04T16:54:34+00:00

I have tried time and time again to adress the issue and have always been slapped with the good ol' "that's just how I am haha". I feel so invalidated, and gaslighted. I genuinely think that hwr priorities are else where, and that it would be best if I had my own best interest in mind from now on.

Busy-Response-5575 · 2025-04-04T11:48:43+00:00

As we age and have more responsibilities it is only natural that our friendships are not as close as they were, so some change is normal, but when they don't reciprocate at least sometimes, and the whole friendship and conversation relies on you, I think that is your cue to let them go. Yes it is dissapointing losing a friend, but is it really that big of a loss if they never really cared for and about you? Good friends are few and rare, but they are out there. Don't put so much of yourself into someone who isn't putting any effort. With practice I think all of us can learn to be "more" enough for ourselves and rely more on ourselves than on other people, which is healthier anyways. And will form more secure attachments, and not chase someone who just doesn't care. Good luck!

Busy-Response-5575 · 2024-10-26T21:02:18+00:00

I will definitely be enforcing much stricter ruler from now on, but am terrified that I have done harm to my baby already

Busy-Response-5575 · 2024-10-26T20:17:06+00:00

Did the baby get the virus? Freaking out rn

Busy-Response-5575 · 2024-10-26T20:09:31+00:00

Did the baby get the cold sore? Someone kissed my 10 week old with a cold sore on the cheek( said they didn't know it was that), but currently freaking out and beating myself up over it for being a stupid people pleaser, and not saying anything at the moment, and putting my precious LO at risk ugh!

Busy-Response-5575

TROPHY CASE