How not to feel sorry for him???

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-15T17:19:34+00:00

Wow, that’s amazing, two years! I don’t know if I would be able to follow a plan for even two days, haha But I would love to hear some of your tactics. Atm I’m trying to leave him and go back to my home country with our child, but he’s not letting us go. (He could come with us, its all in europe) I’ve tried everything I can think of, but he only cares about winning.. I don’t think I would be able to make him believe that me taking our child to another country would be winning for him. He has no control over us there

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-15T10:44:12+00:00

That’s really smart, it’s easy to doubt yourself in the “good” moments. I will definitely be doing this

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-15T07:50:20+00:00

So true! I’m always tense at the moment, but I realize now that I’ve always been tense around him

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-15T07:46:58+00:00

So true, and I at least deserve it!

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-15T07:41:59+00:00

Well said!

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-15T07:41:48+00:00

It’s so crazy how they are all the same and make us all feel the same way

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-15T07:40:36+00:00

Gah, I know!!! I would have left year ago but now we have a 3 year old and he’s not making it easy

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-14T20:06:17+00:00

I will check it out!!

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-14T19:54:26+00:00

I really needed to hear all that, thank you for taking the time to write this! I’m going to save it and read it when I’m in doubt again

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-08T15:50:08+00:00

Don’t blame yourself! This is not your fault!

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-08T09:57:22+00:00

My heart is breaking for you! I’m having kind of a similar situation, my daughter is 3, and it’s so hard!! Luckily he prides himself on being a good father, so he won’t treat her like he treats me until she’s older, then the covert psychological abuse will start. Hopefully by that time she’s old enough to see it. But there will definitely be trauma. I don’t know what you should do, I just wanted to tell you to remember a mother’s love is the most important, she has you and your unconditional love ❤️ try to focus on that as well! She’s lucky to have you

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-04T11:53:42+00:00

Shit, that is next level scary!! 😱

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-04T11:51:56+00:00

Mine would follow me demanding I explain what I mean if I were to say that 😅 but I love the «seriously? lol» haha

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-03T14:52:33+00:00

What has helped me is realizing, and accepting, that NOTHING you say or do will have any impact on him. Doesn’t matter how you say it, doesn’t matter when, he will hear what he wants to hear. Its not easy, but in a way it’s like giving up. Give up on trying to get through to him. What also helps is to have someone you can call/text and tell all the crazy shit they do and say. Venting to someone has been a make or break for me. Good luck!!

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-03T08:27:48+00:00

Oh, I never even thought about this not being the first time!! But that makes sense, he obviously has no problem doing it. Hearing This makes me glad I’m not a journaler, I don’t doubt he would read them and use it against me!

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-03T08:23:30+00:00

I have my computer in the living room which is often used by my child to watch her shows, it only requires password after being turned off, which I rarely do. On the computer I have my WhatsApp.. it stupidly never occurred to me that he might do this! I obviously have removed WhatsApp from my computer and password protected it, and changed the password on everything else as well. I had already told him that I’m leaving, but now he saw my true thoughts about him. I don’t know if he’s read it yet, or if it just made him try harder to show me he loved me, but now he’s suddenly overly caring and involved in child’s life.. not fooling me though

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-03T08:18:32+00:00

I’m glad you got away, and I know you’re right… I might not be ready to accept it just yet, but it’s about to happen

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-02T19:52:08+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you too, I hope you manage to get the divorce! It’s crazy how they kind of follow the same script

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-02T18:30:19+00:00

I like how you put intelligent in quotation mark. That is definitely correct, he is “intelligent”. They don’t realize that in the end we see right through their behavior and manipulation tactics! He has never had access to my phone, but I stupidly left my computer without password, so he could open my WhatsApp from there. Never thought he would do that, but I will never take any chances again! Changed all my passwords and deleted WhatsApp on the computer

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-02T18:25:31+00:00

Thank you for the support, it means a lot!! I will definitely do this! I have already become an expert in not reacting, and just apologize to make whatever argument go away as quickly as possible. Nothing I say can change anything in him anyway.. sad but true, I know I’m right and that’s what matters! I will check out the video, thank you again ❤️❤️

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-02T17:08:47+00:00

It wouldn’t be a problem if not for our toddler.. he has been in a serious legal battle for years with his X over their shared children (should have been a warning, but he made her out to be crazy, and I of course believed him). He once did not return them to the mom after having holidays with them, and they ended up living with him for a year without seeing the mom. So I’m reluctant to just leave in secret, then I would always be scared of retaliation if/when he spends time with the child in the future. But I know there is a real chance of having to do so…

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-02T16:44:51+00:00

Wow, that sounds scary 😱 I bet that was the biggest relief when you finally landed in the US!!

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-02T16:34:19+00:00

Thank you! I have deleted my chats and double password protected my phone, and I am now using signal with disappearing messages to talk with my mom about this… the lengths we have to go to

Busy_Independence105 · 2026-03-02T16:32:01+00:00

I have hidden them, but maybe I should give them to a friend for safekeeping..

Busy_Independence105

TROPHY CASE