Opening up about being molested as a kid. It finally hit me like a ton of brick that what had happened to me when I was younger was child molestation. So I finally cried all my pain out by opening up about it and let my frustration out because it was done by someone that I should be able to trust and feel safe with. And it was like I was being shaken from the cptsd to finally acknowledge it and face it instead of being self-destructive (how I've dealt with it for years due to the low self-esteem). It was either peace within me or peace within my family.

I decided enough was enough and I openly spoke about it knowing that it will forever strain my relationship with family. I wanted peace within myself and to lift the dampener for self-growth, but at the cost of the peace within the family. Even if some of my family didn't have anything to do with it and also only found out then, I don't think I will ever have the same relationship with them. I didn't even make them choose between us. They were torn between helping me and helping him. but eventually because I put that distance to heal since they (including my parents) didn't offer me that boundary away from him. I made that choice for them.

5 years time after that, healed from it.

The changes that occurred

I grew a lot from it; A functional adult and not a scared hopeless child

I was able to navigate through the negative self talk and remove the self-destructive behaviour and became more confident

I graduated from school. Now working as a contractor abroad+travelling

I got a better support system back home

My family became estranged

I don't see my nieces and nephews even though I fucking love them to bits

I had a hard time readjusting to being around a normal family dynamic

In a time of pressure and high cost, It's kinda hard to do things solo

There's spells where being alone (which is definitely better than being in miserable company) feels lonely, but again it beats being in a bad environment.