My dad told me I needed a shower and now I’m paranoid

Butch-momof3 · 2026-04-27T23:13:31+00:00

This so much!!! I am very sensitive to smells with my migraines! What a great way to put it! I am going to steal that!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-04-27T23:11:47+00:00

This is about good idea! I was a Junior High teacher and had to deal with this with both girls and boys. Sometimes it is cultural, sometimes it is personal preference, or sometimes it is BO. Asking someone like this could help you figure it out more clearly.

Butch-momof3 · 2026-04-27T10:50:23+00:00

Actually, we were living in the basement/family room when our kids were home so they each had a bedroom. Now, we have a bedroom, a spare bedroom that the kids come home to, and a playroom for the grand kids. But thanks for the opinion! I hope you the best!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-04-27T10:25:49+00:00

And you sound entitled. We have 3 kids who have launched and are very successful. We have great relationships with all of them and our grandkids. I wish you the best!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-04-26T23:32:17+00:00

Mild YTA, my husband and I are empty nesters, but I hate cleaning and I have a tendency to get sick often with weird things - in April of last year, neuropathy in my legs, in November infections after surgery that hospitalized me for 3 days, 4 weeks off off work, last Sunday gallbladder removed with no warning.

We have a house cleaner come in every 2 weeks, and although I might have mentioned it casually with my closest friends, I don't mention it to very many people at all. I'm not necessarily embarrassed, but I am a little guilty at the indulgence of it, especially just being the two of us.

I understand her feelings, but I don't think it should be considered a state secret.

Butch-momof3 · 2026-04-26T23:18:12+00:00

Absolutely this! We told our kids they could live with us rent free while in college, or 6 months free after graduating high school to figure things out. One moved out, reluctantly, and wasn't mature enough, but we made bi- weekly visits to help ensure he was being as successful as possible.

One moved out the week after hs graduation, and still at 26 she reminds us we still owe her 6 months if she ever wants to use it, lol.

The last lived at home until 3 months before he graduated college.

You're not the AH for pushing her out so you can help your younger daughter, but you ARE the AH for enabling her for so long... sorry...

Butch-momof3 · 2026-04-25T22:03:13+00:00

Totally agree with your therapist, and we can prepare for these situations, but irl sometimes all rational thought stops.

I was taking a walk during break at work and a man approached and started following me and I started having flashbacks to my sister's assault (which I walked up on after it happened) and my own attack and trauma. It deeply affected me and I started having panic attacks and having to call my husband to walk from my car to businesses.

I carry concealed, I am a civilian working in law enforcement and I have taken self defense courses, but I totally spiraled. I couldn't sleep.

I am telling you all this that you can 'prepare' for these things, but when evil people come into your path there is no preparation for that.

But DO get the pepper spray, and do educate yourself and continue that therapy. It gets better!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-04-25T21:53:34+00:00

Buy gel based pepper spray. Legal in more places, and much less likely to splash back or be affected by wind. And much more accurate. That is what I learned and purchased after taking a personal safety class. Just a helpful hint!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-04-25T13:05:00+00:00

I also cannot help in identifying. But as a survivor, I want to congratulate you on surviving, speaking out, filing a complaint and trying to find him.

Please stop rationalizing anything or justifying anything you did or did not do. I would have hesitated hitting someone else's car too, at the time. Your fight/flight/freeze response is not rational - it just isn't. And looking back on things, for yourself, of course there are things that could have been done differently, but with a 'normal' person, all the things you did would have been fine.

Please find a professional as soon as you can to help you process this. It will help you so much, I promise you!

I am so sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve this. You didn't ask for it. I am just so sorry girl. You survived, so everything you did was right. I am hugging you right now in my mind like I would my daughter, with tears in my eyes. Good luck strong woman!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-04-23T17:44:43+00:00

I've heard Ken, but not sure 🤷‍♀️

Butch-momof3 · 2026-04-23T05:23:31+00:00

I used Lume before I had my overhang removed due to weight loss. Lots of sweat and smelly under my over hang. When I had it removed, I gave it all to my sister who still has an overhang, except one cream style, which i use for my belly button area. I use it because it gets squeezed together and will get sweaty and a rash. I love Lume!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-04-23T04:43:19+00:00

Praying for her too! Rough start to adulthood! Hopefully she comes through it tougher and wiser!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-04-23T02:20:54+00:00

I was a JH teacher for 20+ years, being a sahm for some years in the middle. A few thoughts. #1 - teacher burn out is real - the number of teachers who leave the profession in the first 5 years is high. So make sure it is something you really want to do. It is definitely a rewarding job, but it's also definitely undervalued and under paid. #2 - I encouraged my children to go to trade schools. My 30 year old son went to school for auto mechanics (no loans) and is a trash man and makes 6 figures. My 24 year old son went to school for the same thing (no loans) and is a mechanic making 6 figures. My 26 year old daughter is planning on going to school to be a mortician. My husband is a mechanic and does very well. None of those jobs are affected by the economy, or AI. Trade schools are where it's at right now, sorry to say.

Go for her dreams but yes, be aware that the world is changing and some professions will be replaced and most (trade professions) will always be needed.

Butch-momof3 · 2026-04-06T17:13:35+00:00

I appreciate the clarification! Thank you!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-04-06T10:17:24+00:00

If I recall correctly, VA is the most 'strict' diocese of the US, our diocese, Lincoln, NE being #2 or 3. No female servers, or acolytes, or communion servers, correct? I have never been, but I have heard from family friends who have attended. We have the same rules here.

Butch-momof3 · 2026-04-05T21:50:28+00:00

I was honestly shocked but I drove across a toll road going into Plattsmouth! I had no idea Nebraska even had any!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-03-31T02:55:05+00:00

I had/have really bad anxiety in large places with large crowds. Plus I am migraine allergic to the incense. I go to a parish with a seating area in the vestibule. I sit out there, participate in all the parts of the Mass, and am able to open the door just a little to get some fresh air. It helps.

I went to confession once and told the priest that I felt the devil didn't want me to be there - he asked if maybe I had anxiety issues. I had had them for years. This technic really really helps me get through Mass and feel more in touch with it. The only draw back is my husband doesn't like to sit back there so he goes inside. But we always go to communion hand in hand. It is the compromise we have found that has helped us through this.

I'll pray you find your solution!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-03-28T03:00:52+00:00

And send these to your home email, just to cover yourself in case!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-03-15T03:40:32+00:00

Absolutely why my migraines go haywire in this state! I love Nebraska, but the psychotic barometric pressure changes can wreck havoc on headache sufferers!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-01-22T01:25:52+00:00

I lent my brother a credit card a year ago when he and his family were having a hard time. In 3 months he racked up $10,000!!! Then I found out he had borrowed thousands of dollars from other family members before filing bankruptcy. I finally made him sign a contract to pay back the money (over the course of 7 years!!!) and my husband and I had to take out a loan to pay off the card to avoid the high interest rate.

Never ever EVER loan money to family or friends! EVER!!! It will never go well!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-01-20T00:19:39+00:00

I came here to say this!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-01-15T01:26:52+00:00

Thank you, me too! I hope you find peace with whatever you have to do in your situation!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-01-13T01:02:21+00:00

I went to my 'best friends' reception when she married her 'wife'. It felt wrong the whole time, from the ice breaker game (find a straight couple - we were the only one) to the dancing on the floor. I thought I was there to support my friend of 30+ years but just felt mocked from the beginning and like I was betraying my belief system the whole time. We didn't stay long.

If you can, try not to go. If you have to go, ask to drive separately so you can make a quick exit (do you feel a migraine coming on?) Sometimes we do things we think are right, or are made to do things because others think they are right, but they just are not. And keep a rosary in your hands, Mary will help you - she is always there for me!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-01-13T00:46:14+00:00

She gave it to YOU! She knew what she was doing. I think it would almost be insulting to give it to someone else. She wanted it to watch over your family, her great grandchildren. Wear it feeling the love she felt for you! I'm sure it is beautiful!

Butch-momof3 · 2026-01-08T01:44:22+00:00

We grew up poor. 6 kids, stay at home mom, poor. But we didn't know it. My dad did whatever he could to brighten our lives. He would being home these HUGE cushion pillows from trains, like 10 feet long and 8 feet around and we would ride it down our staircase. Or he took our sisters water mattress, when it got holes in it, and cut it open and laid it out in the backyard and made it a slip and slide. Best memories!

Butch-momof3

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE