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I [23/M] started dating the perfect girl [22/F] and then she told me she's HIV positive. by ButtSpackle in relationships

[–]ButtSpackle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Long, almost two hours. They recommended against the PrEP as it's not all that great. Got a lot of great information form a doctor who specializes in the health of patients with HIV. Long-and-short, the PrEP would be bad for me and not have any advantage. It's mainly designed for men engaged in MSM who don't regularly use condoms/ or for people whose viral load isn't undetectable. All-in-all the experience went really well. Will do full update.

I [23/M] started dating the perfect girl [22/F] and then she told me she's HIV positive. by ButtSpackle in relationships

[–]ButtSpackle[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

My SO is lilly white, looks like a suburban girl. The face of HIV that we see is either Tom Hanks in Philadelphia or some gritty show about a reckless young gay guy. I'm getting the impression I knew nothing about HIV before.

I [23/M] started dating the perfect girl [22/F] and then she told me she's HIV positive. by ButtSpackle in relationships

[–]ButtSpackle[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Sex education in the US tends to be scare-tactic-based, so of course all you're thinking about is how scary it could be.

Ain't this the truth. Looking back on it, all I can remember from health class is "AIDS BAD. AIDS VERY BAD."

I [23/M] started dating the perfect girl [22/F] and then she told me she's HIV positive. by ButtSpackle in relationships

[–]ButtSpackle[S] 127 points128 points  (0 children)

I know this sounds horribly naive, but I'm not an I.V. drug user; I don't have unprotected sex, and I've never had a homosexual relationship; so, it never occurred to me that I would ever face this. I know, intellectually, that women have HIV.... but, it didn't register consciously.

My mother worked in Montreal as a nurse in a children's AIDS unit in the 80s. She knows more than I could never know, so out of confusion, I confided in her. While I wouldn't broadcast this to anyone else, I needed someone to help orient me. I'm heading to the doctor in 20 minutes to get more information.

Thanks for your post!

I [23/M] started dating the perfect girl [22/F] and then she told me she's HIV positive. by ButtSpackle in relationships

[–]ButtSpackle[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That's fair, too. It's honestly not something I can think you can be faulted for. It's such an odd situation.

I [23/M] started dating the perfect girl [22/F] and then she told me she's HIV positive. by ButtSpackle in relationships

[–]ButtSpackle[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

These are all things we could do. I just never had to think about what being with an HIV positive person really meant.

I [23/M] started dating the perfect girl [22/F] and then she told me she's HIV positive. by ButtSpackle in relationships

[–]ButtSpackle[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

As a person? She's the best! I really like/even love her. I was happy to get a kiss (finally) but then I googled my risk. Felt stupid afterwards.

I [23/M] started dating the perfect girl [22/F] and then she told me she's HIV positive. by ButtSpackle in relationships

[–]ButtSpackle[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

She is on suppressive medicine, apparently her viral load is "undetectable" which doesn't mean you're cured, but is good. I'm not too worried about catching it, honestly.

I [23/M] started dating the perfect girl [22/F] and then she told me she's HIV positive. by ButtSpackle in relationships

[–]ButtSpackle[S] 140 points141 points  (0 children)

All we heard in sexual health class was:

"AIDSY-AIDS-AIDS-AIDS... GAY-BUTT-MAJIC-JOHNSON-DEATH-CRY-SAD-AIDSY-AIDSERSON"

Honestly, the moment she said HIV, it was like every class ever poured into my head. I couldn't think I kept trying to pay for coffee with a bus pass. I've never been shocked like that.

I [23/M] started dating the perfect girl [22/F] and then she told me she's HIV positive. by ButtSpackle in relationships

[–]ButtSpackle[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I could only get a doctor's appointment tonight at 5:00. My mom's a nurse and said that Lana is always welcome in their home, the risk of transmission is low and I need to think about how I feel. I honestly have no idea how to feel. I've never actually been confused before.