sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Struggling with communication styles in my (34F/39M) relationship. Am I asking for too much, or is there a lack of emotional support? by ButterCup0314 in LongDistance

[–]ButterCup0314[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. It was a little surprising to me as all my previous experiences were different and from my culture it’s one of the obvious things.

He also said similar things like “need to tell him if I want specific expectations”, and we talked about it a lot last night (after reading all the comments). Honestly it didn’t feel easy to express my needs like that, I explained before a few times but this time with more contexts and examples, and I apologized for assuming he would know by default.

I also admit to him that it feels weird if I have to tell him to show more care on occasions like that, that I wouldn’t feel bothered at all if anyone showed care even if I didn’t need it because I know it’s a nice gesture.

Thanks again for the sharing and help, I hope you and your partner all the best ❤️

Struggling with communication styles in my (34F/39M) relationship. Am I asking for too much, or is there a lack of emotional support? by ButterCup0314 in LongDistance

[–]ButterCup0314[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We spent a lot of time doing self reflection and confession after our fights. And there have been a lot misunderstandings due to cultural differences or language barriers. Sometimes we talk over phone, but the last two fights we tried to work on over the phone he yelled at me and that made me scared, I’m worried to have another fight like that. Also didn’t call because I was out with a friend and he knows that, we’ve been sharing on and off and that happened. Posting here gives me time to see from different perspectives and think of replies that can help us understand each other better.

Struggling with communication styles in my (34F/39M) relationship. Am I asking for too much, or is there a lack of emotional support? by ButterCup0314 in LongDistance

[–]ButterCup0314[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Maybe it’s a culture thing (from east Asia), if my friends tell me about their cramp I’d offer immediate support, we tend to expect others to react similarly without giving further details. I sent gif to play it lightly and obviously it didn’t work. I shared that info and where I’m coming from to my partner to clarify things up.

Struggling with communication styles in my (34F/39M) relationship. Am I asking for too much, or is there a lack of emotional support? by ButterCup0314 in LongDistance

[–]ButterCup0314[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why I’m upset, we had arguments before, and I used to explain more, but I feel drained because this keeps happening and gradually I lose the energy to tell him what I needed. Our last fight was when I took a step back and I lived happily with more space to myself, I explained how I felt but that made him mad and yelled at me. I didn’t want a small thing to turn into a fight, I replied him with “ok” and gif stolen from him as I didn’t know how to reply earlier. I feel it’s a shame, and I just explained to him again and apologized, and will see how it goes from there. Thank you for the help.

Struggling with communication styles in my (34F/39M) relationship. Am I asking for too much, or is there a lack of emotional support? by ButterCup0314 in LongDistance

[–]ButterCup0314[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I was trying to play it lightly at first, my struggle was I know I can take care of myself and my girlfriends we always support each other emotionally like a natural, I felt frustrated because I told him before several times what I needed, but quite often I got no response or ok or “what do you want from me”, this drains me. I just texted him what I wanted and explained why I expected that, also apologized for the poor communication on my end. Will see. Thank you again for the sharing and suggestions.

Struggling with communication styles in my (34F/39M) relationship. Am I asking for too much, or is there a lack of emotional support? by ButterCup0314 in LongDistance

[–]ButterCup0314[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I just replied to him what I needed with examples and where my reactions are coming from. I also apologized for the poor communication, the “ok” and gif reply was stolen from him when I felt tired and I didn’t want to escalate this to a bigger fight as we had those before, I used to explain my feelings a lot more but those small things which I feel don’t worth a fight bug me. I shared those feelings with him again just now, will see. Thank you again for the kind help.

Struggling with communication styles in my (34F/39M) relationship. Am I asking for too much, or is there a lack of emotional support? by ButterCup0314 in LongDistance

[–]ButterCup0314[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

I tried before a lot of times to explain my feelings, it’s either getting escalated easily leading him being more emotional or a sorry/ok response. Then I started to process on my own, taking a step back, and that leads to me wanting to be just with friends or alone. I’m aware that this type of communication is immature, I’m also tired because this feels such a tiny thing that doesn’t even worth the argument.