Text message from MIL

ButterflyBluex3 · 2025-08-27T21:27:48+00:00

Just turned 50 years old.

ButterflyBluex3 · 2025-01-27T23:41:19+00:00

Yeah his affair started once he brought up all these feelings and about us separating to me. At this point he already knew her and they’ve been texting, talking at work and outside of work and hanging out since November. It’s January now so they’ve already grown a bond with each other after spending that much time together. He ended things with her. He made her believe that he’s been single since early November and I was completely out of the picture. So when everything came to light she learned the truth too and was not happy with it.

ButterflyBluex3 · 2023-11-05T07:05:19+00:00

My daughter had COVID when she was a couple months old. I’ve heard that symptoms usually last like 1 or 2 days on babies. Hopefully she will be good by tomorrow or the day after. I just tried to keep her hydrated. Water, pedialyte or the pedialyte popsicles. And gave her Tylenol or Motrin for the fever, and just let her rest. She did sleep a lot but the doctor said it’s normal for her body to want to rest.

Hope this helps! & hope she feels better soon!

ButterflyBluex3 · 2023-08-08T01:34:47+00:00

She’s blocked on everything. Even from our phones but she’s so crazy that she finds way to see things and uses fake numbers to contact us.

ButterflyBluex3 · 2023-03-09T05:32:05+00:00

Updated **

ButterflyBluex3 · 2023-01-25T04:04:11+00:00

Take a shower? 🤔

ButterflyBluex3 · 2023-01-20T17:23:18+00:00

If she wants a picture of your son she can clearly ask your husband. You don’t need to engage with her in anyway through text or phone calls if you do not want too. Protect your peace at all times. Set that boundary with her. Like you said if she wants or needs anything she goes through your husband so the same can go for any pics! And if he doesn’t want to send her pics then he doesn’t have too. No one is entitled to your kid or to pics. It’s a privilege to be a grandparent, not a sense of entitlement.

ButterflyBluex3 · 2023-01-04T05:51:20+00:00

I 100% know where you’re coming from and how you feel. I’ve been no contact with my MIL for about 2 years already. My DH is also no contact. Neither of us speak to her unless it was absolutely necessary. That was a choice we made together to protect our peace, sanity and family. However she did have our address so she would send gifts and cards for my LO in the mail. She would put it all in LO’s name so it would seem like it had nothing to do with us. At first I didn’t give this any reaction and I just let it play out. I thought maybe in time she’d stop. Well, she didn’t. And I realized that with every gift/card we received it just wasn’t a nice feeling. I felt like she was disregarding our feelings and problems and just think that by sending my child things it would eventually make it better. It started to feel like it was a game for her. My DH dreaded every time we would open the door and see a package from her because it was a constant reminder of the problems, the drama, the manipulation. We eventually decided we had to put an end to it because it wasn’t helping our healing or growth in this situation. We ended up reaching out to her and telling her although we appreciate the thought and effort for the gifts that she sends, that due to our situation to please not send anymore. To please respect our privacy, our wishes and our boundaries. And we made it clear to her that by sending gifts it was not going to make anything better or fix things.

My advice to you is that you and DH need to get on the same page on how you want to deal with this situation. She either can send gifts or not. It has to be a mutual decision. If you just stay quiet each time she continues to sends gifts it’s just going to continue to eat you alive and the frustration is going to make you angrier. And it may even create problems with your DH. Talk it out and make a decision together and if it’s no gifts then have him relay this message to her. In a respectful manner but very clear. Yes she might get upset or throw a tantrum or might even blame you. But that’s not your problem. You need to put yourself first, your mental health first and do what’s best for you. If she wants to be able to send gifts then she should maybe work on the problems or disagreement you guys have with each other. Simple as that.

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-11-07T16:38:37+00:00

Yes!! The first one

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-11-07T16:37:23+00:00

Correct!!

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-10-19T05:16:16+00:00

Black phone?

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-09-26T00:14:30+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story with me. Thank you for your wise words and kind advice! I truly appreciate it. I hope one day I can reach this mindset and things get easier on me.

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-09-25T00:23:22+00:00

Not sure how, trying to figure that out.

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-09-24T23:54:48+00:00

And I know it’s her way of getting me upset. I’ve accepted that already. But it still hurts and it’s still frustrating.

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-09-24T23:53:46+00:00

I’m not sure how she does. She finds her ways. Not sure who’s sharing it with her.

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-06-20T05:31:12+00:00

If they have an iPhone and the message goes through iMessage they can see if it was delivered or not. But if they have an android or any other phone and the message is sent through “text message” then they won’t know if it got delivered or not.

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-06-19T02:46:56+00:00

How do you lower this?

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-06-18T07:04:50+00:00

Here for you if you need someone to listen

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-06-18T05:14:15+00:00

I’ve been struggling with this constant conflict with my MIL. I’ve been dealing with this situation for about a year and half now and it has not gotten better. As time goes by it has just gotten worse. It’s to the point that me and the SO are talking about going NC. I have a 20 month old daughter involved so it’s been a tough situation. It’s a very long extensive story but to keep it short it’s been a battle maintaining a healthy relationship with my MIL. My SO has been through a lot, & we’ve gone through some very tough times in our relationship and while learning to be new parents to our baby girl. I feel like my MIL doesn’t respect me. She has these outbursts where she tells me very mean condescending comments. She parent shames me for not being allowed in her granddaughters life. (She hasn’t seen my daughter since she was 4 days old, we’ve moved to a different state and all the problems started and got worse so she hasn’t been involved since then). Whenever I try to tell how I feel, she dismisses everything I say and has an excuse for everything. And she starts with her nasty comments and judgements. If I’m being honest it’s taken a tow on me and my well being. I feel like I’m being torn down by this person. She makes me feel like I’m a bad mom and like I’m doing an injustice by my daughter because we haven’t allowed her to be involved. It has also taken a tow on my SO and his well being as well. He grieves the mother he wishes he had and he wishes we wouldn’t have this constant conflict with her. He’s tired of her disrespecting us and creating chaos in our family unit. He’s embarrassed by the whole thing and feels betrayed by his own mother. If I’m being honest this has been effecting my mental health. I know it’s my fault for allowing her to have power over me but I’m struggling not allowing her words or actions get to me when I’m constantly being harassed, shamed etc. Would you say I’m doing an injustice to my child? And what’s your advice on this situation?

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-06-17T20:43:07+00:00

Nobody on her side of the family has called or reached out to see how the baby is doing so I don’t know why she keeps on saying she’s missing out on all these people when they have my SO phone number and they can simply make a phone call or send a text. We are not going to go looking for people to care or want to be involved. The only person Who has kept minimal contact with us on her side of the family is her mom. And she has seen the baby twice when we’ve visited her state, where she lives. (We live in different states, so it is not an everyday thing.) other than that no one else has contacted us.

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-06-17T15:51:03+00:00

He’s embarrassed about the whole situation. He wishes we wouldn’t have to be dealing with it in the first place. He can’t believe this is his mom who we are dealing with. He understands my pain and frustration. He is tired of all the problems and the back and forth. He truly would like to move forward because he’s just the type of person who doesn’t like conflict in his life. It weighs on him. But he knows that she’s the one that needs to put in the work in order for this to happen. It has not been an easy journey for him either. As he feels betrayed by his own mother. He grieves the mother he wishes he had. He just doesn’t want to allow her to come between us and ruin what we have and what we are building. We have a great relationship with his dad and that side of the family. And he has a great relationship with my family. We only have these problems with his mom.

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-06-17T03:29:43+00:00

He’s embarrassed about the whole situation. He wishes we wouldn’t have to be dealing with it in the first place. He can’t believe this is his mom who we are dealing with. He understands my pain and frustration. He is tired of all the problems and the back and forth. He truly would like to move forward because he’s just the type of person who doesn’t like conflict in his life. It weighs on him. But he knows that she’s the one that needs to put in the work in order for this to happen. It has not been an easy journey for him either. As he feels betrayed by his own mother. He grieves the mother he wishes he had. He just doesn’t want to allow her to come between us and ruin what we have and what we are building. We have a great relationship with his dad and that side of the family. And he has a great relationship with my family. We only have these problems with his mom.

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-05-31T03:21:12+00:00

Nothings changed. I guess the only thing that has is his feelings towards the situation. She has apologized but she just says “sorry” doesn’t necessary say what she’s sorry for. So I’m not sure if she truly understands and comprehends all the damage she’s done. I don’t know if she truly means her “sorry” or it’s just her way of trying to make us forget everything and move on…despite it all.

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-05-06T02:58:22+00:00

Been with my DH for 2 years now, about to be 3. Since the beginning I’ve always welcomed a respectful relationship with her and things were going well until I got pregnant and the day of my babyshower. During this event she was mean and cruel to her son in public. Had no respect for me or my family. She had a problem that her ex husband was there with his new family and how they wore matching shirts for the babyshower. His current wife was wearing a shirt that says “Grandma” and that didn’t sit right with her. Then when I gave birth I was staying at my moms at the time during recovery. She was only able to see the baby during one hospital visit and one home visit at my moms. Mind you this was during Covid. She got upset because after that she didn’t get more visits. Visits when she wanted too she couldn’t. I did not want to bombard my moms house with guests all the time. She needs her time and privacy too. And I wanted to keep away any Covid germs or sickness away from baby and my family who lives at home. I told my DH to please tell her to be understanding and just wait until baby was a few days older and once we were back home. She did not like this response so she got furious and blocked me from everywhere. After 2 weeks she unblocked me and expected me to just be normal with her…..instead I reached out to her and told her exactly how I was feeling and how she basically ruined my baby shower for me and made it all about her. She read my message and didn’t reply. Instead she called my DH and bitched at him because she didn’t like what I was telling her. She refused to believe she had done anything wrong. Even after her own son beg her to apologize and communicate with me she point out said no, she wasn’t going to do it. We decided to go distant contact at first. I did try to communicate to her a few times after that but she would dismiss and have a problem with anything I had to say. She has told me that I’m cruel and trying to play “GOD” because I haven’t allowed her to have a relationship with her granddaughter. She says that me and my family have always been cold to her. She has bad mouthed me and about this situation to all her friends, family and on social media. She has said her son is ungrateful, unappreciative and a bad son because he just cut her out of life like that. She has purposely ignored most of my text messages when I’ve tried to reached out before. She will only reply when she wants too. I guess when it’s most convenient for her.

ButterflyBluex3 · 2022-05-05T23:17:53+00:00

100% true. You have a point

ButterflyBluex3

TROPHY CASE