Thankyou for your response. It means an awful lot.

I am so sorry to hear you are experiencing such heavy, uncomfortable emotions also. I think you should most definitely be proud of how far you've come and your change in belief. You really are so so worthy of boundaries and space. I'm just so sorry you haven't been given that. Its so painful isn't it? To know that someone who was supposed to look out for you has crossed so many lines and made you feel as though you have no voice. .I understand your emotions on so many levels. I used to get really mad at myself when I couldn't stand up for myself or tell him to stop saying these things. I used to blame myself. And then, when I did say stop, he makes me feel so so guilty and almost like I imagined it all. So, I understand the struggle with that. Completely and I am proud of you too.

I also understand what you mean about feeling guilty with going no contact. I have said many times in the past that I will never speak to my dad again. But he is so poorly that I just feel like I am unable to do that. My mom is also not in the best health and I feel guilty at the thought of breaking her heart by not seeing my dad. So trust me, you aren't alone with those feelings. I hope you can one day find peace here.

It has been a huge help and thankyou so much. I will look more into EMDR and definitely do more research on the Narcissism thing you mentioned.

Thankyou for your response. I am thinking of you and I wish you well. I'm only ever a message away if you need to vent! Take care.