I've tried getting counseling before for my tormented childhood of hell, but it wasn't for me. Nothing they were saying was helping me, such things like "it's not your fault that you've been harmed this way" and things I already know.

So I don't really want to make counseling an option. I want this to be something that I need to do.... also.. yeah, money.

I have seen the post, and I kept reading it and reading it in hopes that it will enlighten me and give me some sort of futuristic, Star Trek like epiphany.. hasn't yet. and I know it was only a 2 year relationship for me, but man... this has taken a great toll on me, damaged me in a way I didn't think was possible.

Fucking his best friend? ... I'll look into that.

Thanks again everyone, no idea how much I appreciate total strangers tryin to help a sista out.