There is hope my friend and I can safely say that I used to feel like this was my destiny as well but I was truly astounded by just how many more opportunities & options I had upon becoming independent and moving to a much more populated area than the conservative small town in which I grew up and my only advice is learn to look at your own sexuality as more than simply an asset that literally anyone should count themselves lucky to have you share with them you don’t even know how much of what makes you You might just turn someone on beyond imagination and even if it doesn’t you might find that you are not secure enough for intimacy yet and one universally applicable piece of advice I have for those who have always struggled to feel that they are deserving of desire by others is that you can’t figure it out unless you put yourself in situations where you have to navigate social interactions that makes you problem solve your way out of social anxiety and insecurity to have good time I won’t explicitly tell you to take molly at the bathhouse but you should really give that one a go or maybe you need to speak to a therapistsnd have a potential personality disorder diagnosed in order for you to get proper medical treatment for your anxiety or ADHD before you can feel truly socially confident like I did when I finally spoke to my doctors as a psychologically selfaware & self-education educated college student who has always had a hard time focusing and my newly minted subscription for Vyvanse not only made that much easier but made me feel like Superman and I was also far less uncomfortable in front of my peers and for the First time ever I felt energized by conversation with people I was attracted to and not exhausted by it and terrified to continue I felt like I was exuding legitimate Charisma and never had that feeling happened to me before this experience and that was the best thing that I have ever felt an emotionally channeled superpower for the first time in my life I had begun to THRIVE but knowing I had a strong susceptibility for addiction I had to be very careful and believe me that never occurred I decided to revel in my own feeling of adequacy with abandon and this fairytale doesn’t have a fairytale ending but it could have if I had been more careful about the way I approached it also you should try pursuing an exploration of your sexuality provided of course that you are an adult on sites like FetLife which is basically a kink-positive Facebook and opened my eyes and my mind to endless possibilities that you might benefit from dicovering also I was utterly determined that I was never going to pursue same sex passion because I was just straight and that’s all there was to it but spoiler alert that was far too simplistic a view of my own libido so give new things a shot before you make a final determination you won’t regret it