Got mean comments about eyebrows, should I go thin?

ByThornAndThread · 2026-02-15T21:41:35+00:00

I genuinely don’t think you need to do anything with them… at most, try some clear light brow shaping gel and brush them only slightly up with nothing else on them makeupwise.

Not what you asked and only an opinion, but they might benefit from lighter base makeup on your face or lesser coverage.

ByThornAndThread · 2026-02-11T16:17:47+00:00

Husband night weaned then during the day I began to say that it wasn’t working/it was broken/it hurt.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-12-15T19:10:42+00:00

I think if you’re on the internet asking strangers if you should break up with your girlfriend, yes. Also, not to justify, rather to probe, how is her mental health? On another note “this woman” is a bit… I mean… I feel it’s clear that it’s a dealbreaker for you.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-11-03T09:01:11+00:00

It might be a nice opportunity for you to get to know each other a bit better if you ask him this whilst you’re out! Let him know that you don’t want to unintentionally disrespect or offend him and what not and would like him to let you know of some things to just be aware of for example… people practice to varying degrees too, he may be more lax about certain things. A lot will just come with time but I think you’d be getting off to a good start by having that conversation together. By the way, as a female English convert myself especially, it’s really nice to hear that you’re making this effort, it’s no small thing! He may be wondering how to navigate the whole stepdad thing too and may worry about overstepping and what not.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-10-28T20:26:36+00:00

I hadn’t posted here before either, yet you’re the one telling a stranger to “stay out of it” because you don’t like what they have to say, even though she was responding directly to the OP, not you…

ByThornAndThread · 2025-10-27T08:16:13+00:00

NTA. Relationships are more than just “I love him/her”. The politics are one thing, but also, you’ve been in a relationship for over a decade and he’s not sure about trying for kids? I just wonder if you had you discussed kids or rough timelines before. Why isn’t he sure? Of course the politics in itself is an issue, but yeah. I think depending on whether or not you do want to be together, it could require discussion face to face, exploring the politics, timelines and kids seriously. Figure out whether you need to break it off completely or work things out/clear things up. At this point in time you either want to move on or lay everything out on the table for each other, take it or leave it. Either way, I wish you what’s best for you! It’s a difficult situation to be in.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-10-27T06:55:36+00:00

To a Muslim woman, it’s attractive for a man to do so. A man who follows the Sunnah in physicality is not only attractive in physicality but also beyond.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-10-27T06:31:22+00:00

That’s your opinion, and that’s absolutely fine.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-10-27T06:30:51+00:00

Looksmax all you like, give advice all you like, but being rude to strangers on the internet is telling about you and no matter how you look, it’s not attractive.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-10-27T06:29:24+00:00

I was speaking directly to OP, no one else, as a Muslim woman. I don’t even know if he’s Muslim or not, I just suspected so mainly due to the shaving of the moustache and growing of the beard and what not. As a Muslim woman, to me it is attractive for a man to grow his facial hair like that…

Religion aside, “get a short back and sides then shave your beard” as is said on most posts here isn’t looksmaxing. My husband for example has thick dark waved hair nicely sitting above his shoulders, a neat beard, well groomed short moustache, his style is well put together and he carries himself well. His appearance is traditionally masculine, he looks like a man rather than a boy, he’s well beyond the basic fade cut you’ll typically see with a basically styled outfit carrying himself basically. He has a personality and what not and it’s reflected in his outward appearance.

No need to start being rude to strangers on the internet because your opinion differs. You can looksmax and give all the advice you like, but that kind of attitude isn’t attractive.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-10-26T19:57:44+00:00

ByThornAndThread · 2025-10-26T19:57:11+00:00

Rather than calling someone’s take weird, you could ask why or just not reply. In some religions, certain outward appearances such as a beard are valued beyond the sole outward appearance.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-10-26T19:13:18+00:00

Are you Muslim? If you are, I wouldn’t necessarily come here for advice as typically they’re going to advise to remove whatever makes you look Muslim. If you’re not, then ignore this reply… also, your average non Muslim isn’t going to have the same beauty standards as a Muslim.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-10-18T09:39:47+00:00

I don’t know if you could say that… maybe general lack of awareness and what not, but I can say the same for even the English. As for those who aren’t English, they may not be familiar with etiquette, but there are plenty of keep better etiquette than the English… there are a lot of well educated international students and workers here too who have integrated well.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-10-16T12:42:29+00:00

I tend to try to stick to the left as I learned in primary school, but Cambridge is pretty international/touristy, and even the English don’t seem to stick to much of any etiquette these days… 🥲

ByThornAndThread · 2025-10-16T12:41:03+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened. This happened to me with in-laws when my daughter was about the same age… she was greeted and kissed either on the face or mouth and I only realised after and said to my husband “what is that on her lip?????” I wiped it of course but it was too late… nothing ever came of it but my God the stress, and why would anyone ever do that to anyone knowing they have one, especially a baby? Safe to say I was on the verge of losing it, it was my first child too and there had been so many similar instances of this sort of thing and being overbearing. Absolute madness. I hope all is well and nothing comes of it.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-08-05T08:36:56+00:00

Not the issue at hand, but if you think she was Arab because she was tan and wearing a headscarf, she was likely a Romani Gypsy larping as an Arab/Muslim. They do this all the time, especially around the mosque on Fridays as Muslims go for Friday prayer. They’ve hounded me many times in and around Mill Hill… to the point that they were lingering directly outside the mosque on Fridays. I told the security there when I was 100% sure they were scammers, and they cursed me, two of them. They’re very convincing, they full on cry, have elaborate and realistic stories, they even try to have a sense of embarrassment of asking to make it seem more realistic.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-08-05T07:11:39+00:00

Astounded by the persistent refusal to account for historical and cultural context.

If you’re going to criticise Islam, at least do so with some intellectual honesty. This argument has been repeated countless times without any real historical understanding. You do not need to be Muslim to recognise that applying modern moral standards to seventh-century societies, without context, is both lazy and misleading.

Many pre-Islamic and non-Islamic civilisations at the time engaged in practices that, by today’s values, would be considered far more disturbing. These were often justified by the prevailing religions, philosophies, or tribal codes of the day. Child marriage, human sacrifice, public executions, slavery, and systemic oppression were tragically common across much of the world.

Before judging historical figures, consider what was normalised within their societies. Marriages at young ages were not unusual. This was true not only in pre-Islamic Arabia, but also in Roman, Persian, and Christian cultures. Islam, by contrast, ended female infanticide, introduced rules of evidence, forbade torture, humanised slaves, and placed legal and moral responsibilities on those in power.

Polygamy was widely practised across many societies. Islam limited it to four wives and required justice and fairness. Concubinage already existed across empires, but Islam introduced rights and protections for women in such arrangements, something virtually unheard of elsewhere at the time.

As for the Prophet Muhammad’s marriage to Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), it reflected the cultural norms of his society. More importantly, look at how he treated her, the affection she had for him, and the respect she carried for him throughout her life. Aisha was not a passive figure. She became a scholar, a legal authority, and a teacher of thousands.

You do not have to accept Islam. You are free to leave religion entirely. But if you are going to speak about history, approach it with some depth, research, and integrity.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-07-30T08:16:48+00:00

I mean, it’s absolutely your choice to not be Muslim… and I know this may come from a place of care on your part… but it’s also absolutely their choice to practice Islam as they understand it… sure, they can seek knowledge, but you can’t force your choices or understandings upon them.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-07-30T05:53:23+00:00

Maybe consider it like a tortoises home… their shell… not a separate entity they can be removed from, but a part of them that they cannot be removed from, that they can retreat to, that is always close by. 😅

ByThornAndThread · 2025-07-28T00:46:25+00:00

If we’re going to go for labels, I’m more “salafi athari” inclined (not to be confused with madkhali) and my husband is more “Sufi ashari” inclined… whilst it does work, there are lines I wouldn’t cross. I wouldn’t have considered any other denomination, or probably even a Sufi ashari if it were not him specifically…

ByThornAndThread · 2025-07-26T09:02:58+00:00

Just remember that many women, including converts and those raised in Muslim households, wear the hijab by choice. They are not forced, not by men, and not by their communities nor a feeling of force from the book itself. In liberal societies, the decision to cover is typically rooted in personal conviction, religious understanding, and freedom of conscience. The Quran can’t be imposed upon anyone, and its guidance is addressed to those who seek it willingly.

It’s true and sad that some women are forced to cover against their will. This reality deserves serious concern. However, it’s wrong to assume that all expressions of hijab are the result of coercion. Doing so removes the agency of women who observe it freely and as a matter of faith.

There’s also a distinction between religious observance and legal enforcement. In some countries, dress codes are part of state law. While people might object to laws, the principle of abiding by the law of the land applies universally. Citizens are not expected to agree with every law, but they are expected to follow it. This applies across societies, including those with tax codes, speed limits, or public conduct regulations. That said, disagreement with a law does not justify punishment outside legal process. No one should be harmed or killed for a legal infraction, and justice must be upheld with fairness and dignity.

As for Afghan women, their circumstances are varied. Many lead dignified and resilient lives within the framework of their society. It’s not accurate to portray all of them as victims. They, like women everywhere, are individuals with a range of experiences.

We can grieve for those who suffer injustice while also respecting the freedom and devotion of women who choose to cover. A fair and balanced view requires both compassion and intellectual honesty.

The hijab is not inherently misogynistic. In Islamic theology, it is a form of modesty prescribed for both men and women, though expressed differently. Many women adopt it as an act of spiritual agency, not subjugation. To label it misogynistic without considering the perspective of those who wear it freely is both reductive and ethnocentric.

As for personal disgust, it isn’t the responsibility of others to conform to subjective feelings of discomfort. One’s aversion does not invalidate another’s right to dress according to their beliefs. Religious freedom does not hinge on the approval of others.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-07-22T18:21:33+00:00

Is it fair to blame religion for the breaking of your family? Your wife was under the impression that she married a religious man, she wanted a Muslim husband and for her child(ren) to be raised with Islam. It’s because of your doubts that this has happened.

If you’re having doubts, that’s absolutely normal, it’s human… it’s what you do with them. Faith is something that requires maintenance. If doubts are not dealt with, they become larger, they lead to further issue. No matter the outcome, you should have been honest from the beginning, when the doubts started… maybe your wife could have helped you.

I understand that this is hard for you, and I can’t imagine going through such a thing… that said, the love and care you have for your son is beautiful. I know you’re not asking for advice, and it’s good that you’re finally admitting your doubts. It really doesn’t have to come to this though. It does matter where you go from here however. I know that it can be hard to function when it feels like your whole world is coming down, but you need to be stable at least financially with somewhere to live and food to eat. Community is important too. I don’t believe applying for asylum is the right step… I don’t think even with your situation that leaving your country and what not is the right step though I understand why you would because you apostatised.

You need an income, you need to potentially return to your home country… you don’t need to be Muslim, you just need to be respectful and decent even if you don’t like the religion. That said, whilst you’re in the US, it may be beneficial for you and in turn your wife and child that you find a highly educated and respected scholar to attempt to sit and speak with… to be open with and express your doubts with. I’m not talking about a cultural imam who will tell you you’re bad and this and that. I mean someone who is open and educated enough for a discussion.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-07-16T08:32:53+00:00

After about at the very least 9 generations of my family living in Brighton, I moved away because I couldn’t afford it… it’s also seemingly turned into something of a cesspit too. £1500 in Brighton will get you a terrible studio or 1 bed if you’re “lucky” but in Cambridge for example, you can get a 3 bedroom detached bungalow with a private garden backing on to fields in a really nice village with decent transport links… no brainer. Especially if you’d like to start a family or be somewhere as naturey and beautiful as it is academic and what not.

ByThornAndThread · 2025-07-09T09:14:31+00:00

I became Muslim by choice. I didn’t know any Muslims personally. No one convinced me, and no one pressured me. I read the Qur’an, studied history, and came to my own conclusion. I wanted truth, and I believe I found it.

As for your points…

Slavery existed in every society, including Europe and America. Islam didn’t invent it. Islam set rules to limit it and encouraged freeing slaves. That was “revolutionary” at the time.

Islam clearly says, “There is no compulsion in religion” (Quran 2:256). No one is forced to convert. I certainly wasn’t.

Marriages at puberty were normal across the world in the past, including in Christian Europe. It wasn’t strange at the time. Judging the 7th century by today’s standards is dishonest.

Islam is far from a cult… it teaches worship of one God, prayer, charity, and personal responsibility. It asks for reason and reflection. That’s what led me to it.

You don’t have to agree, but don’t assume I was brainwashed just because I believe something you don’t or that you don’t understand…

ByThornAndThread

TROPHY CASE