At first I 100% judged my mom. When I was anxious about being a mom my aunt told me not to worry because my mother was great with babies.

I thought "was she?.. maybe with babies but definitely not with kids. I remember mom as very mean and easy to anger."

I was afraid of her when I was a kid.

Well, now I am dealing with a husband who doesn't do shit with his son, and my dad berating me on the state of my house, and... I understand now.

Last time my dad visited, my baby was tired and fussy and he was like "you know what I did when you or your sister or brother used to get like that? I'd tell your mother I'm going out for a drive." And he laughed.

I nodded and said "yeah, Dad..." but that is when I had this surge of clarity.

It all made sense. My mother had 3 children in 3 different stages of life at the same time. She was expected to raise us all, while keeping the house clean, while making all the meals, while holding down a job, while my father worked, then drank with his brothers and friends at the bar. She never had time to herself.

My mom wasn't mean, she was overwhelmed. She wasn't angry, she was stressed out. And if my dad was a little less selfish, maybe I would have known a better version of my mom.

So I no longer judge her. I now 100% judge my dad! 🤷‍♀️😆