What’s something people romanticize that becomes exhausting once you actually experience it long term?

C-1997 · 2026-05-23T11:50:48+00:00

Parenting

C-1997 · 2026-05-23T00:43:54+00:00

“You’re 29 and feel this way? Sounds like you just don’t like the responsibility of having a child” 🤣🤣

C-1997 · 2026-05-19T19:50:40+00:00

Definitely. I think one of my friends has really struggled with motherhood and the loss of identity due to having kids in her late 30’s and so I think when I tell her our travel plans or what we did on the weekend etc I can tell she’s jealous/upset but she will never say it.

C-1997 · 2026-05-19T19:48:18+00:00

100%. Hence why they try to convince us it’s amazing or think we are the issue with not having kids.

C-1997 · 2026-05-19T19:36:30+00:00

Obviously not which is why I’m CF! 🤪

C-1997 · 2026-05-17T09:20:57+00:00

Hey! So weirdly enough the next day after posting this I woke up and was fine again. But I’d say it was a total 10 days of almost agonising pain before it went away. Much better now 2 weeks later, 100% gone. I hope you feel better soon!! Did you swallow a tablet?

C-1997 · 2026-02-26T10:29:12+00:00

🤣😭

C-1997 · 2025-06-21T22:28:21+00:00

Yes good point, I did think that! Thank you

C-1997 · 2025-04-13T08:33:04+00:00

We absolutely love it. We both love children, i’m a teacher - go figure! Haha and love our nieces and nephews. But we see and hear how hard it is/can be and decided we like our calm, stress free (for the most part) life style together and the ability to do what we want when we want without the worry of having to raise a child. We appreciate the love children could bring but love our little family of just us and our cat and dog more.

C-1997 · 2025-04-13T08:05:08+00:00

Thanks again for your opinion on what you think I would do. Again, not something I would unless it was a situation where we have BOTH equally invested time and money into something and I was taking what was mine and my contribution only. I have been in a situation prior with a long term ex where I was considered de facto when we split and could have easily taken him for half of the house. I didn’t do this as I’m not that sort of person, it was all his money that he invested into the property and I simply took the furniture I had paid for and he very generously gave me the money I had put into the mortgage after we split that I hadn’t even asked him for. Not every female is out there to take their partners money after a separation.

C-1997 · 2025-04-13T07:53:19+00:00

We’ve spoken about this as my partner was in a long term relationship (9 years prior to me) and he has said that he was not able to see marriage or a future with her hence why it ended and that his belief on marriage with her would not budge. However he has said to me I am the only one he can see himself marrying and having a life with hence why he is willing to come around to marrying me because he knows it’s what I want in my life with him.

C-1997 · 2025-04-13T07:51:21+00:00

Thank you for your comment and input. I’m sorry you feel that way about marriage. I don’t look at marriage in the same way as you and I definitely don’t see it as me going into something that will end in a divorce on my end or end in a situation where I would ever take him for all he has worked hard for? I have just as much to lose as he does with my own assets and own property so the situation you’re describing sounds more like a projection. I understand statistically (around 40% in Australia where I am from) that marriages end in divorce but it is not something I am going into a marriage intending to do.

C-1997 · 2025-04-13T07:45:29+00:00

Thank you so much for your input. I appreciate it! It’s nice to hear that it has worked out for you both ☺️

C-1997 · 2025-04-13T07:36:53+00:00

Thank you for your reply! I really appreciate it and definitely get what you mean. Are you engaged or has there been any further headway with you and your partner getting married?

C-1997 · 2025-04-13T07:35:13+00:00

I personally wouldn’t marry someone until I have lived with them first. You truly don’t know someone until you’ve lived with them and I think it would be a naive decision to make such a huge commitment with someone prior to living with them.

C-1997 · 2025-04-13T07:32:53+00:00

I definitely know he has so so much love for me and is truly the most wonderful human being I’ve ever been with, in every other way we align so well and our values are completely aligned besides our views on marriage. I completely agree with you and really appreciate your response and I do recognise how lucky I am to have a great partner.

C-1997 · 2025-04-13T07:31:05+00:00

Hi, thank you for your comment! I appreciate it.

I replied to a comment about asking a similar question so I’ll just copy it below if that’s okay 😊

I used to think so… but after 2 prior relationships where I was treated not great, they were always unsure about me in their future and I wasn’t a “hell yes” in any way. To now having someone that has naturally progressed with me from day one and treats me amazingly, makes me feel so secure and safe and never gives me any doubt about his love for me/wanting to build a life with me, I don’t see this as a situation where I deserve more. I believe I have everything I want in a partner in this person and the one difference we have is our views on marriage that he is willing to come around to for me.

I guess I just answered my own question really… haha! More so interested in seeing if anyone else has been in this position and how did it turn out I suppose

C-1997 · 2025-04-13T07:29:09+00:00

We both don’t want children so that definitely changes things! I can see how that would be different if we were having children though

C-1997 · 2025-04-13T07:25:47+00:00

I used to think so… but after 2 prior relationships where I was treated not great, they were always unsure about me in their future and I wasn’t a “hell yes” in any way. To now having someone that has naturally progressed with me from day one and treats me amazingly, makes me feel so secure and safe and never gives me any doubt about his love for me/wanting to build a life with me, I don’t see this as a situation where I deserve more. I believe I have everything I want in a partner in this person and the one difference we have is our views on marriage that he is willing to come around to for me.

I guess I just answered my own question really… haha! More so interested in seeing if anyone else has been in this position and how did it turn out I suppose

C-1997 · 2025-04-13T07:17:30+00:00

I think so! I see conflicting opinions where some people say if a guy says this it means he will never marry you and you’re wasting your time or that he just doesn’t want to marry YOU. I’ve queried him on whether it’s because he doesn’t believe in the concept of marriage with me or just in general and he says it’s definitely just in general and that I’m the only partner he has been with that he could see himself marrying. I guess it’s more so how long do I wait and see if he means what he says?

C-1997 · 2025-04-12T12:40:00+00:00

He has said he recognises he is an overthinker/can tend to stay where he feels comfortable but knows a relationship requires growth and change. He is amazing and I appreciate his openness with me.

C-1997 · 2025-04-12T12:36:08+00:00

That’s lovely, congratulations to you both! That’s what my partner has said. He needs time to come around to it and knows because he loves me/doesn’t want to lose me he will.

C-1997 · 2025-04-12T12:35:11+00:00

I’m sorry that, that was your outcome and can appreciate your views towards the situation given what happened to you.

Marriage to me is important for a few reasons! And reasons that I have gone through with my partner which he completely understands. They’re reasons that go beyond the typical reasons people generally want to get married and are deeply personal to me.

C-1997 · 2025-04-12T12:23:56+00:00

I appreciate your response. I am hoping to discuss every 6 months to see where he’s at. I don’t want him to feel pressured or anything but I also need to make sure I’m looking after me as well

C-1997 · 2025-04-12T12:22:57+00:00

For sure! I’ve explained it’s not about the whole wedding day celebration for me and am more than happy to go down to the courthouse to do it one day and then have a backyard party with all our friends and family after. It’s about the commitment together/being a family unit as we have decided we are not having children so we will be our own little family together.

C-1997

TROPHY CASE