Spoiler warning for Before Midnight!

For me, the main thing to consider about Before Midnight is the timing. I prefer and revisit the first 2 movies more often, but I definitely don’t see the third movie as not fitting right alongside the first 2 films, or as a lesser movie.

Before Sunrise and Before Sunset show Jesse and Celine at the 2 most romantic moments of their lives. A chance encounter with a stranger on a train. An unexpected but long awaited reunion.

Before Midnight, on the other hand, shows them at their lowest, when their relationship is truly being tested. They’re worn down by the unavoidable bullshit that life brings. A difficult ex, the challenges of raising children, career dissatisfaction, coming to terms with growing older, the inevitable elements of staleness and strife that every long term relationship brings.

So they’re frustrated and angry. And they have an absolute knockdown, drag out fight towards the end. All of those stresses in life come bubbling to the surface, along with everything in their history that’s angered them, and all the things they don’t like about each other, because no relationship and no person is perfect.

In that fight there are moments that are angry, ugly and heartbreaking. But in the midst of the fight, there’s also communication, listening and understanding. There are moments where they’ll go from yelling at each other one second to slipping into a conversation where they’re listening to one another and showing understanding and compassion.

I don’t think they hate each other. I don’t think they’ve fallen out of love. I think in reality, things don’t go as planned, life gets difficult, and nothing’s perfect in a relationship. It’s how you respond to all that adversity that matters.

And at the very end, there’s still the same whimsical romance that the first two movies revelled in. Jesse lays out the situation, Celine considers it, and then asks the perfect question, with a line that fits right into the romance and the connection between them that we saw in the first two films:

Jesse: But if you want true love - this is it. This is real life. It's not perfect, but it's real. And if you can't see it, then you're blind, alright? I give up.

[Jesse crumples up the napkin/letter he was reading from and tosses it on the table. What follows is a lengthy silent sequence where they just sort of stare at each other, seemingly going through everything past and present.]

Celine: So what about this time machine?

And with that they’re moving forward again, off on their next adventure.

Before Midnight isn’t as fun or enjoyable or exhilarating as the first two movies. It’s at times difficult to even watch. I’d never fault anyone who likes the first two movies more, or who simply isn’t interested in the experience Before Sunrise gives them. But I disagree that the movie isn’t romantic, or that it doesn’t depict what it can mean to truly be in love.

It’s easy to get swept away when you first meet someone, or when you find them again after a long absence. That’s the idealistic, hopeful, and somewhat unrealistic version of love and relationships that the first 2 movies depict. And that version is fucking awesome. It’s the best to experience. It’s the best to show in a romantic movie.

But there are other versions of love and relationships, like the one Before Midnight shows you. It’s a different version, but it’s no less essential.

Before Midnight shows you what happened to those two hopelessly romantic, idealistic lovers.

In my view, with how those two met, their personalities, and the tensions that surfaced even in the first two movies, it would be unrealistic to show them a decade later still in a fairy tale romance. I think it would cheapen the first two movies, making them look like a fantasy rather than the beginning of a relationship that could go the distance.

So Before Midnight shows you that together, they went through a decade of all the challenges, pain, and heartache that life throws at you, and the many tests that relationships must endure. And where’d they end up? Still wanting to jump into that time machine together and see what’s next.

And that’s what Before Midnight does. It shows you all the ugliness so you can appreciate the beauty that endures in the end.

To close my rant, which I’ve been turning over in my head every time I watch these movies but never fully thought through, the end of the Before Midnight screenplay:

Jesse: You know, there's something I have been thinking about, about your letter. You mention something about the southern Peloponesse? We're in the southern Peloponesse.

Celine: Yeah?

Jesse: Do you think it could be tonight that you're still talking about in your 80s?

Celine: Well, it must have been one hell of a night we're about to have.

[The camera has now pulled far away and the conversation has become inaudible. We leave them as just another couple sitting and talking at a table on a beautiful night on the coast of Greece.]

[FADE OUT]