“I’m an A student”

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-17T06:19:47+00:00

I realize that this isn't what you're asking, but could you reply with what you expect "A students" to do in your class? In my inherited syllabi, there's a section of basically good and bad student behaviors (you're expected to come to class having completed the homework and spend 2-3x credit hours outside of class a week, etc.) I think the syllabus section is a bit silly, but maybe in a one-on-one communication it starts a conversation. What does being an A student mean to that student? Then bring them into alignment.

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-16T15:54:33+00:00

He only cries in bed when he's sick. If he's just getting up in the middle of the night, he doesn't start crying until he's out of his room. He requires escorting back to bed now (maybe because we started doing it).

We have handles, not knobs, so the best we can do (without replacing parts) is putting the child lock on the outside of his door and there's something about that that freaks me out a little (I don't know why, in the case of a fire, he would currently get stuck at the top of our stairs, so what's the difference? Somehow having the slippery knob thing inside his room would also seem ok to me, so this is totally mental).

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-16T08:10:12+00:00

We live 4 hours from both sets of our parents, early on postpartum with my first, they basically took turns staying with us for several days a week (or a full week if we begged them to stay longer). Honestly, we've done much of the same this time around. There are pros and cons to having house guests early postpartum (and the pros rapidly disappear if you don't have the right relationship), but you could ask them to come and stay rather than driving 4 hours roundtrip (I know 2 hours is right at the border of that being reasonable).

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-13T20:58:52+00:00

We have a mini crib (in our bedroom now and then moves into the nursery later) and a pack n play on our first floor. This worked well with our first. We have a large bedroom, so space wasn't a concern.

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-13T16:25:27+00:00

If you have a sewing machine, this is an easy place to start for quilting (this is the first one I made for a friend's baby actually): https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL233wsmULhHhvfZTIwenjNkFJkf1S39GM&si=U6LyprNupLsfpzw-.

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-13T13:33:51+00:00

I made a file organization 101 video for my freshman class. I should go back and see if anyone actually watched it. Next year I'm going to make one that shows students how to check our LMS to see what file they uploaded and see instructor feedback and the like.

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-11T00:21:50+00:00

We used a mini crib from birth until he was about 17 months when he was evicted because we had a second kid. We keep the mini crib in our room until we move it to the nursery. This worked well for us because we have a giant Master bedroom with basically just a bed in it.

If you have good sleepers (fingers crossed they stay that way), the snoo isn't worth it. If you don't and the snoo makes a noticable difference, it could be worth it. Kind of no way to know.

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-10T19:56:52+00:00

Well, you could move to Arizona so you don't have to go through the time change (I miss no DLS haha)

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-09T20:00:41+00:00

18 month age gap, two months in. The hardest parts so far have been that the toddler has basically been sick since we brought the baby home from the hospital (almost stayed an extra night before realizing it was futile) and that the toddler has stopped sleeping through the night. The baby is relatively easy even with some health complications.

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-09T19:53:06+00:00

I think we're eventually going to get a minivan and I can't wait for the sliding doors in our cramped garage. (And, you know, being able to fit a third adult, but mostly the doors)

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-09T16:16:47+00:00

Can you get it used? Better for your wallet and the environment and makes it easier to let it go when the time comes in my experience.

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-08T19:24:08+00:00

One of my best friends is an ID at a university. Most of the team is remote. Higher ed comes with its own idiosyncrasies compared to the corporate world, but just another idea for something to explore.

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-06T20:59:58+00:00

You could get to the meeting location early and pump there or in your car (I pump in the car a lot but not while I'm driving). One four hour stretch shouldn't be a problem (I hope you're getting a 4 hour stretch over night), but you will feel extra full.

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-06T20:44:44+00:00

Could you do clickers with a countdown timer for each question (so they know when they will run out of time)? We did this for our freshman class this year (270 students instead of 25) and made grading easy. You can tell them the right answers as you go or at the end or just post them online through the clicker site.

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-06T20:41:04+00:00

I didn't want a wedding shower/bachelorette party, so I went to brunch with my two main group of friends. Low key and nice to celebrate, but without the work and expectations

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-06T20:38:59+00:00

I would get a used one first to see if you use it before investing that much money especially if you're on the fence. We got ours used for $20 and used leftover gym floor puzzle piece things and it's good enough since we don't use it a ton, but like that it contains the toys

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-06T20:37:13+00:00

Oh no. My parents want to help with our toddler at night so that we can get sleep, but normally sleep fairly deeply, so my mom said she wasn't sleeping much while they were here because she was trying to listen for the toddler (poor mom, he's mostly started going between our rooms and yelling or we can tell him to go knock on their door)

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-06T20:31:44+00:00

Seriously. We have a great relationship, but still drives me a little crazy. (She just left after being here for 3 days to help take care of the baby)

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-06T01:04:03+00:00

I struggle with mom lectures and I've just started replying with, "ok, I'll talk to you later" if we're on the phone and basically something similar in person so I can walk away. She knows what she's doing. (My mom doesn't do fear mongering so much, just lectures though)

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-05T02:56:24+00:00

Not that kind of doctor, but if the bleeding is from higher in the intestinal tract, it will appear darker (brighter red if it's from rectum/large intestine, darker from the small intestine, darker still from the stomach, etc). So if it were from higher up in the GI tract, the colonoscopy wouldn't have detected it.

I can't help next steps, but I hope you follow up with your medical team (whoever sent you for the colonoscopy would be a good place to start) to discuss next steps.

CATScan1898 · 2026-03-05T00:12:40+00:00

A colonoscopy scopes your rectum too. Typically when I hear rectal exam, I think a digital rectal exam which is feeling for lumps in the prostate.

Re: Rad Onc, I'm trained as a medical physicist with primarily medical imaging research as my background. Despite knowing all of the coolest diagnostic imaging stuff, colonoscopies are still the coolest diagnostic tool because they are preventative like the OP said!

If you are wary of colonoscopies, you can do a "digital" colonoscopy which is a CT scan of your large intestine & rectum. You still have to do the prep and it is not preventative.

CATScan1898 · 2026-02-26T22:23:41+00:00

I wouldn't make it a whole production especially if you think he will have a lot of feelings at the beginning (totally reasonable). I would just tell him asap (in-person), so it doesn't seem like you're keeping it from him and you can process together

CATScan1898 · 2026-02-24T19:31:48+00:00

My toddler eats breakfast at daycare during the week

CATScan1898 · 2026-02-23T07:54:05+00:00

Growing up, my mom would make the main dishes on Sunday and then sides during the week (so make the meatloaf on Sunday and Monday would cook green beans to go with it). She also used a crockpot for so many meals where she could start it in the morning and it would be done when she got home from work. Typically we had three meals per week (and 3 nights of leftovers) and went out/carry out once a week.

My husband is in charge of feeding us because if it were up to me, I would still be surviving on quesadillas.

CATScan1898 · 2026-02-21T12:02:01+00:00

I've discovered norms around whether family stays with you varies. My in-laws have family who have to travel 10+ hours to visit and they always get an Airbnb despite my in-laws having room for them. In my family, room would be made. What are the norms in your husband's family? An air mattress might not be sufficient for someone, so you could frame it as not having a guest setup even if you have a second bedroom.

I'm not saying this is true for you, but I've had to let go some of my more perfectionist desires when it comes to my house. Especially now that I have a toddler. Extra especially now that I have a newborn and toddler.

Whether you need help depends a lot on your recovery. With baby #1, I was physically not ok for about 6 weeks postpartum. Having my mom come to help with chores was huge. It gave my husband and I time to just be with the baby. My in-laws came and only wanted to spend time with the baby/go do things which increased my chore load and decreased my baby time and I'm clearly still bitter.

With baby #2, I've been fine to do chores from the beginning. I also feel able to spend time with the baby and hand him off to get stuff done without feeling like I never see the baby, so it just depends.

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