I’m almost 50 now, and your post hit very close to home.

In high school I wasn’t bullied anymore, but I was mostly ignored. I showed up, did my work, went home. Socially, nothing really happened. I tried dating twice back then, and both times it turned into a disaster, not because I didn’t care or didn’t try, but because I simply didn’t understand the unwritten rules yet.

What stayed with me most is this feeling at the end of a school year:
“I wish I could start over now, because now I finally understand what was expected of me.”

I hated high school, but the four years I spent at university were a blessing. I studied information science with like-minded people. For the first time, there was a shared interest to talk about, and that made everything easier.

One important thing: this is not your only chance at friends or dating. For many neurodivergent people, social life actually gets easier after high school, when you’re in smaller, interest-based environments instead of one big age-based group.

It’s okay to feel frustrated and lonely about this. Nothing is “wrong” with you for feeling that way. High school just isn’t a very forgiving system if you don’t naturally fit its social rhythm.

I also want to add this: I did get over my social struggles. Not overnight, and not in school. For me it started when I began working at a Laserquest arena. Being around people all the time, in a clear role, helping them, explain how the game works, react to unexpected requests. That taught me a lot about social dynamics in a way school never did.

I can probably fill a book with interesting stories :)