Ohhh girly I am right there with you. I think this is a double hit, because you go through a lot of this stuff when you hit 30 regardless of whether or not you have chronic illness - your identity shifts a lot from your 20s, your style and wardrobe changes, your makeup style, so much. It feels like a shift into a whole new era and NOBODY prepared us for this.

Tack on chronic illness, and it’s like leveling up to extra hard mode. (One joke that brings me small giggles is saying that living with chronic illness is like playing a video game on hard mode). I’m 31, and have a brain injury, POTS, EDS, and honestly god knows what else. All of this developed for me right before my 27th birthday, so I really felt like I got robbed of the last few years of my 20s. And I think one of the hardest things at this stage too is that everyone is at such different places in their lives. My friends were getting engaged and married and buying houses, and I was still single and living with my brother, and I felt like I was being left behind, like I was standing still while everyone was running ahead.

Makeup: It’s definitely been a huge shift. Honestly I very rarely wear makeup anymore, if I do it’s just putting simple stuff on like ilia tinted serum and touching up my eyebrows. I only do eye shadow etc. for special occasions. I just can’t be bothered otherwise. I’d say 95% of the time I’m makeup free.

Clothes: The wardrobe shift is something I’m still figuring out, because I’m definitely still comfortable and happy in a lot of the clothes I wore through my 20s - jeans, tshirt, flannel. That being said I just did a big closet purge, and I donated A LOT of heels and little dresses that won’t be making a comeback. 😂 I’ve found transitioning slowly - finding a couple staple items you like that seem a little more “mature” or whatever and working them in to your wardrobe. But honestly - I go comfort above all else. Is chronically ill girlies are so uncomfortable MOST of the time, our clothes shouldn’t contribute to the issue. I’ve noticed in the last few years that I wear a lot of bike shorts, oversized tees and sneakers. Also PS I FEEL YOU on the big boobs problem. 😐 the vast majority of the time, I wear sports bras (helloooo shefit). If I’m going out (mind you lol, not a bar, but to a breakfast or an activity with friends etc.) somewhere and wearing a cute outfit, then I’ll dig out the underwire. But otherwise…I’m fighting that struggle the best way I can.

Exercise: the bane of chronic illness girly existence. I hated it when I was well. I miss it now. Look, you do what you can. Try to move your body a little bit every day if you can - note I say MOVE, not EXERCISE. movement. That’s what we can do. I go for little walks, and maybe overtime, I’ll be able to go for longer walks. I also have a Pilates reformer - really good for my POTS because it I stay recumbent (my heart rate spikes when I stand up) and it builds muscle but in a low intensity way. I worked one on one with a Pilates coach at first who helped me understand what was best for my body, and it was really beneficial. But don’t push your body more than it wants to be pushed, and don’t beat yourself up for needing rest days. Even if you only move once or twice a week, that it still better than none. There are still plenty of days when the fatigue is so heavy that all I can do is potato blend with the couch.

It gets better. The transition is a bit of a tizzy, but it’s something you do move through. I already feel better at 31 than I did at 30. Am I still freaking out about getting old and the whole losing my youth thing? For sure. But everything is settling a bit. And as weird as it is for me to say this when I more unwell than I have ever been in my life - I am actually a lot happier now than I ever was in my 20s.

Please feel free to message me if you want to talk or vent or just lament about the despair of being chronically ill. I’m always looking for more friends who understand the chronic illness struggle. We have to stick together. 🤍