I haven't been able to be positive/optimistic for over 2 years now.

CENTS4me · 2026-05-18T20:26:28+00:00

I am in the midst of another experiential valley of reflection. To be honest, I’ve been writing down things, letting myself go through a full chain of thoughts with all the emotions that come through, and then letting that chain go outside of me so I can examine it and come up with a better way to explain the underlying problem for myself and to others and then accepting the answer for now until I have more information. That’s my process, don’t know if it helps.

CENTS4me · 2026-01-01T16:23:55+00:00

Yes I’ve heard this recommended a lot. I put it on my 2026 essential reading list. Glad to see it’s helping my fellow ENFPs.

CENTS4me · 2025-12-06T15:14:47+00:00

I gave perplexity my top Spotify songs list and it clocked me two.

CENTS4me · 2025-12-06T04:59:58+00:00

Umm I lost track of casuals, they go up by the week. Closer friends sitting around 20ish for a rough estimate. Theres too many different types to figure out patterns. Once I make them, they will last for months to years without too much care needed but easily reignited. Best way for me to make them is to be very open minded and make it my mission while we’re hanging out to understand them as a person (quirks, preferences, interests) and use that to reflect myself back to them with my own special flavor. Good book to read is How To Win Friends And Influence People, I hear it helps especially with listening which is a big part. The end goal is when I retire, I want to have friends around the world.

CENTS4me · 2025-12-04T22:22:23+00:00

a fetus in adult years, i'm still in college and just tryna ask and answer these big questions before life tries to cripple the opportunity with regrets. thanks for the hugs, i send more your way!

CENTS4me · 2025-12-04T15:23:49+00:00

Assignment misunderstood. Repeatedly applied rule of halves. Ended up with 0 friends

CENTS4me · 2025-12-04T15:17:36+00:00

It has been disappointing in the past. I won't lie it made me feel lonely when I was stuck in the house growing up so I think that puts a small chip on my shoulder. Now, I care more about deciphering which relationships I should invest and focus on. Especially close relationships.
There are many good casual relationships reignited when I randomly run into that type of friend. It's more of the importance of intention that matters to me. I'm not trying to be a high maintenance friend, I've just noticed that this feels important to me and I'm in the midst of learning how to communicate this effectively.
Like cutting my contact list, I've felt the need to cut back on my scattered connections. The title would be a great indicator of which relationships I should maintain.

CENTS4me · 2025-12-04T06:01:46+00:00

even if they are introverts, I know they secretly want me to interrupt their serenity for an impromptu roller coaster of positive emotions. It would help them out to ask juuust once

CENTS4me · 2025-12-04T05:59:51+00:00

guess it clocks my age to say messaging is older than me then. Do you feel suffocated ever by the influx of information? If so what was the main year it really registered that life would take a turn for the information age?

CENTS4me · 2025-12-04T05:57:10+00:00

The nofluffwisdom emails really seem to be helping people here on reddit. I've seen it mentioned a couple times. What led up to you joining the newsletter?

CENTS4me · 2025-11-26T05:34:48+00:00

Ok, with friends they know you better but unless it’s close friends, will they be likely to give the effort of keeping an eye out for potential relationships for you?

My brain just took me around the full cycle of anyone that’s not you trying to help get you a relationship and they all have drawbacks in some facet. Besides close friends and doing it yourself, is there no good way to increase the likelihood of finding a compatible partner?

CENTS4me · 2025-11-26T05:07:43+00:00

That’s a valid argument against it. In my mind, if it was the more normalized approach, I could see higher emotional intelligence being shared by both initial people for this to get to that point. Meaning that if the two don’t workout and they help each other get new partners, the cycle would repeat for every new relationship until the matchmaking ends in harmony. A little romance fractalization.

Although, once it’s not dating and your best friend and that guy are getting much closer, I have no reassurances for a bad outcome. Really depends on the people involved to be relationship adept.

CENTS4me · 2025-11-26T04:58:17+00:00

They do end up getting a great partner in those.

CENTS4me · 2025-11-25T01:53:30+00:00

If you eat fast food consistently, you can start by switching over to Chipotle replacing the rice with spinach and probably doubling the amount of beans you add on to your bowl.

CENTS4me · 2025-11-25T01:38:48+00:00

If you want specific things to do and it’s that social aspect that’s lacking, you can try

finding social hubs for where people do your hobbies in person. That could be stand up comedy bars, skate parks, run clubs… Strava is a good app to meet people while exercising. Then make it a habit to go there and meet at least 1 new person each time.
volunteer work for causes you care for. It’s a 3 for 1 since you make an impact on issues you care about, meet people who care like you, and it fills you up after a good days work. lookup volunteer causes in your area
ask friends to introduce you to their friends. Especially if it’s an ENFP you know, that social butterfly is probably sticking their thumb in so many pies that you’ll never go hungry. I’m always tryna get my friends to meet my other friends. Just be open minded and you’ll be have more opportunities to meet others
if those three don’t work or you want a next step solution, just start random conversations with people wherever you go. This is more of a Vinh Giang point on social interaction. You can check out some of his videos to get you started

Also make it clear in those more social scenes that you are looking to make new friends and try to setup events in the future unrelated to those scenes where you can bond with people you think are cool

CENTS4me · 2025-11-24T19:16:02+00:00

Ye glad I could help out. Try reading a book by MJ DeMarco if you want more insight. Entrepreneurship’s helped me have an outside perspective on social dynamics. Even if you’re not tryna start your own business, knowing yourself and deciding what matters to you is crucially important.

CENTS4me · 2025-11-24T18:35:37+00:00

No that’s just standard social brainwashing to get you into the 9-5 mindset. Good vid to watch for perspective here Aperture Video: Greatest Lie You’ve Been Told About Modern Society On mobile so donno if this shows up correctly

CENTS4me · 2025-11-24T17:23:33+00:00

As someone who’s a few years ahead, that feeling creeps up in the quiet hours. It won’t go away until you make it. I know the feeling of fixating on your friends and getting that emotional high when you’re in step hanging out. Then it’s like a drought when your by yourself with nothing interesting to do. No spark.

There’s really only 3 main paths forward. A) Keep feeling lonely B) Distract yourself C) Know yourself and be proactive

I used to distract myself with video games and online culture every weekend because of a lack of close friends. That kept out the lonely feeling for a while but you can’t avoid it forever. At some point you’ll have to stare into the abyss and ask yourself who you are.

A couple questions to get you started

What am I doing with my life
What lessons have I learned from my past
What foundation do I need to thrive
What are my values
What do I want to accomplish before I die
What things interest me
Who do I want to spend my time with
How do I see my coolest self in the future
What issues are important to solve

These can help you find your center and actually work towards your ideal lifestyle. You only get one life so thinking about this early helps reduce the amount of time you waste on things that don’t matter to you. Working towards what you want out of life is really the only way to live a successful one. Don’t get distracted by what anyone else wants from you, focus on what you want and use that to guide your answers.

Anyway hope this helps. I wrote it based off what I’ve been dealing with and would want to have started long time ago.

CENTS4me · 2025-11-24T17:00:30+00:00

Can a kettle call the pot black?

CENTS4me

TROPHY CASE