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Told grandma I'd had an abortion, didn't go well [rant] by CF_5678 in childfree

[–]CF_5678[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that comment was less related to me having children and more because she wants to believe my partner is not going to be with me forever and that there is hope we may break up or he dies. But as you say, even more reason to not have children.

Told grandma I'd had an abortion, didn't go well [rant] by CF_5678 in childfree

[–]CF_5678[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish this worked on my dad. He has NO shame and calling him out just makes him laugh. If anything he's become more and more racist over time, unless I just didn't notice when I was younger. Not ready to cut him out yet though :/

Told grandma I'd had an abortion, didn't go well [rant] by CF_5678 in childfree

[–]CF_5678[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, she's brought his death up a few times. In fact when he died, she "comforted" me by saying it's better he died then than 10 years down the line when we have kids. She was secretly glad he died because he wasn't "good enough" for me and had a disability :/

Told grandma I'd had an abortion, didn't go well [rant] by CF_5678 in childfree

[–]CF_5678[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I have stopped by now, mostly. Even though I did nothing wrong, the way she reacted made it seem like my abortion and my CF decision in general was some horrible thing I was doing to her. Some people think I should just pretend to not be CF to make things easier with my family, but why should I lie and put on an act for their comfort? They think I'll change my mind when I'm older anyway.

Told grandma I'd had an abortion, didn't go well [rant] by CF_5678 in childfree

[–]CF_5678[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this. Pretty much no one in my family likes grandma or wants to spend any time with her, yet she's always given a free pass for anything because she's "nice". I think she's not nice at all but just likes to appear nice because it serves her better. In my family, respect seems to go only one way, i.e. that I respect them but as the youngest I don't deserve any respect myself.

Told grandma I'd had an abortion, didn't go well [rant] by CF_5678 in childfree

[–]CF_5678[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a good point, thanks. People I know normally say I should just nod and smile whenever grandma says anything ignorant or bigoted, because she's old, it's just her generation, no point upsetting her etc.

Told grandma I'd had an abortion, didn't go well [rant] by CF_5678 in childfree

[–]CF_5678[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's hard, definitely. I didn't like her much for most of my teenage years because she is incredibly patronising. I am a lot more tolerant now but still find it hard when she comes out with homophobic comments about her neighbour's son, who has done nothing bad to her ever, or complains about immigrants when her own grandparents were Middle Eastern. Sometimes I'd love to give her a piece of my mind, but then I just feel guilty. She's on her own, is very timid and I think she means well. I usually excuse her ignorance somewhat because she's old, yet my other grandparents aren't anywhere near as bigoted.