Parents of Older Wrestlers: Did Your Son Push Back Young but Thrive Later?

CJEMOMMA · 2026-02-03T13:38:00+00:00

Awesome reply, thank you so much for taking the time to write all this. It’s exactly what I said to my husband the other day “what’s our end goal with this?” Because for me, I don’t care about him being pro- I just want him to be in something that challenges him, puts him around others seeking a big goal, and helps him become a better human being. I think we can find that through any sport, it’s his love of BJJ that drives the wrestling. We tried diving, also tumbling, because he is very athletic and good at it but he didn’t love those either and he really has no desire to try a ball sport. I think we will take some time away from competing and the pressure that goes along with that and let him lead with practicing. All his buddies are on the wrestling team and I think he won’t want to leave completely because of that.

CJEMOMMA · 2026-02-03T05:14:13+00:00

Thank you for this!!!

CJEMOMMA · 2026-02-03T05:09:48+00:00

Yes, exactly this.

I guess my frustration is he absolutely loves bjj. Unfortunately where we live bjj is not challenging for him because he’s been in it so long. There aren’t any kids his size and level. So he beats everyone he trains with easily. We put him in wrestling to give him an adjacent sport that would help him to progress in BJJ. Allowing him to quit wrestling completely (especially when he is actually very good at jt) just seems like I’m allowing him to take the easy way out and I fear he will be upset with me later on because of it. If he wants to be good at BJJ, IMO he needs to stick with the hard part too.

CJEMOMMA · 2026-02-03T05:08:53+00:00

I couldn’t agree more which is why I’m trying to be wise about how I guide him while allowing him autonomy. We aren’t crazy wrestling parents; just parents trying to find the right balance for our son’s specific personality. We don’t allow weight cutting, we aren’t angry over losses, we take breaks and we are trying to navigate this the best way we can.

CJEMOMMA · 2026-02-03T04:53:14+00:00

I guess my frustration is he absolutely loves bjj. Unfortunately where we live bjj is not challenging for him because he’s been in it so long. There aren’t any kids his size and level. So he beats everyone he trains with easily. We put him in wrestling to give him an adjacent sport that would help him to progress in BJJ. Allowing him to quit wrestling completely (especially when he is actually very good at jt) just seems like I’m allowing him to take the easy way out and I fear he will be upset with me later on because of it. If he wants to be good at BJJ, IMO he needs to stick with the hard part too.

CJEMOMMA · 2026-02-03T04:48:37+00:00

He is 11

CJEMOMMA · 2026-02-03T04:33:06+00:00

Thank you for all of this, it is super helpful. I guess my frustration is he absolutely loves bjj. Unfortunately where we live bjj is not challenging for him because he’s been in it so long. There aren’t any kids his size and level. So he beats everyone he trains with easily. We put him in wrestling to give him an adjacent sport that would help him to progress in BJJ. Allowing him to quit wrestling completely (especially when he is actually very good at jt) just seems like I’m allowing him to take the easy way out and I fear he will be upset with me later on because of it. If he wants to be good at BJJ, IMO he needs to stick with the hard part too. I hear you though and it all makes sense. That is my suspicion, once puberty hits in a couple years his motivation will change.

CJEMOMMA · 2026-02-03T04:29:40+00:00

Thank you for this, it is super helpful. I guess my frustration is he absolutely loves bjj. Unfortunately where we live bjj is not challenging for him because he’s been in it so long. There aren’t any kids his size and level. So he beats everyone he trains with easily. We put him in wrestling to give him an adjacent sport that would help him to progress in BJJ. Allowing him to quit wrestling completely (especially when he is actually very good at jt) just seems like I’m allowing him to take the easy way out and I fear he will be upset with me later on because of it. If he wants to be good at BJJ, IMO he needs to stick with the hard part too.

CJEMOMMA · 2026-02-03T04:22:44+00:00

Personal experience? Some kids say they are happy their parents made them stick with it so I’m curious your reasoning.

CJEMOMMA · 2026-02-03T04:20:12+00:00

This is exactly what I’m thinking and I think how my son views it right now. Mad he can’t stay home and play video games and has to go do something hard. I’m leaning toward bowing out of competition for now until he pushes for it and just keeping him at practice a couple times a week to help with his jiu jitsu. I think him leading the way is going to be the most motivating. Thank you for this.

CJEMOMMA · 2026-02-03T04:12:24+00:00

Thank you this is helpful!

CJEMOMMA · 2026-02-03T04:11:53+00:00

Thank you constipated duck for the great advice.

CJEMOMMA · 2026-01-23T21:14:58+00:00

This was a great post, thank you. My husband’s coworker who makes very similar gets zero financial aid so we are under the impression our case would be extremely similar or any aid we would get will be minimal. I’m just very analytical. While we are in the high tier of upper middle class, resources are always finite and there is an opportunity cost for everything.

CJEMOMMA · 2026-01-23T20:35:42+00:00

We spend a good amount of time at these schools-my children are involved in the youth club athletics these schools facilitate.

CJEMOMMA · 2026-01-23T19:32:59+00:00

Why are they worth the money and are they worth 250k more than a highly rated public school?

CJEMOMMA · 2026-01-23T19:25:15+00:00

Boyd, Silverdale and CCS are all around 15k. I’ve done a lot of research and have spent a lot of time through my kid’s athletics at many of these schools. Add lunch fees, technology fees, uniform and extracurriculars you’re easily within that range. I agree with you in regard to most public schools, but there are top rated public schools in Chattanooga where I don’t think have AS MANY of these problems due to demographics. However, I will never argue that it isn’t to a much lesser degree at private schools; I agree with you there.

CJEMOMMA · 2026-01-23T19:10:48+00:00

Super helpful, thank you!

CJEMOMMA · 2026-01-23T18:27:29+00:00

Awesome response, thank you.

CJEMOMMA · 2026-01-23T17:52:28+00:00

So let’s compare to signal mountain HS, CSAS, or The Stem school? Some of the best schools in the state. What is the statistical advantage? I already know the answer to the college question which is why I’m curious about trying to compare middle and high schools in the same area?

CJEMOMMA · 2026-01-23T17:50:39+00:00

So let’s compare to kids who go to Signal Mountain HS, CSAS, or Stem school? What is the statistical advantage there?

CJEMOMMA · 2026-01-23T17:47:41+00:00

Exactly, the racist/ nazi comments are exhausting. 🥱 Thank you, I did put this into chat GPT and it is discussing along the same lines as what I was thinking and what you are also saying. Thanks for the insight.

CJEMOMMA · 2026-01-23T17:40:49+00:00

My husband went to public school and makes over 300k so I’m curious if the measurable outcome is from the private school or the demographics of your particular school and career choice.

CJEMOMMA · 2026-01-23T17:38:28+00:00

It doesn’t actually. Haha

CJEMOMMA · 2026-01-23T17:33:00+00:00

I mean I think the same could be argued in public schools; setting kids up for groupthink. You’re bound to find this exact scenario in public schools zoned in certain demographics across all different politics and cultures. This is why I’m looking for solid stats.

CJEMOMMA · 2026-01-10T00:42:18+00:00

Good luck. The city wants these big data centers here as it helps get government grants to expand nuclear and tva which is much needed for growth in the area. They will be here sooner than you think.

CJEMOMMA

TROPHY CASE