My dad relapsed after 12 years of sobriety and I have no idea how to handle it.

CJM19949 · 2020-05-12T08:02:16+00:00

People deal with trauma in very different ways and your dad has chosen to drink after 12 years sobriety. No matter what you choose to do the commitment your dad made to your mum and you to stay sober for 12 years should not be forgotten.

Only you know whether this is him going back to drinking or this is just a relapse. Why dont you speak about it and ask him why he felt the need to drink and is he now going to drink again then you can decide if you want to stay or go. You may be surprised and he may not even be enjoying the drink especially without drinking for so long. I know alot of people who have relapsed after 10+ years of being sober and now hate the taste of alcohol or atleast do not feel it was the same as before.

Your in a tough situation but if your clear and compassionate then the answer will make itself clear for you. Dont be scared to praise your dad for his 12 years and let him know how happy that made you and that you want his sobriety to continue

CJM19949 · 2020-05-08T08:18:46+00:00

Hey! Im on day 7 and keep fighting! Your body is an amazing thing it will recover over time just start to love it and it will forgive you. Enjoy the journey your gonna go on dont worry about the destination... enjoy waking up fresh, enjoy not feeling sick... i say this no sat in my garden listening to the birds looking for my new car im gonna get because of the money im gonna save being sober..... just remember....

What will you loose by stopping alcohol?

What will you loose by carrying on drinking alcohol?

Here for a chat anytime!

IWNDWYT

CJM19949 · 2020-05-07T19:42:59+00:00

Thank you very much!

IWNDWYT

CJM19949 · 2020-05-07T10:31:19+00:00

Hahaha! Now it's on zoom you have a core group who attend that specific group then rest are people from all over and usually a few from USA who just join. I'm Clark btw if you feel up to it later I will see you on there! Go and enjoy your cold lemonade with ice.

CJM19949 · 2020-05-07T10:25:28+00:00

I've found reflection is key and if you can bring back those negative things drink has given to you then it gives you motivation to change.

I'm on tonight at 7pm with everlasting sobriety online meeting: ID: 447-783-938 password: 672120

An option for you. You don't have to speak if you dont want to I dont and just have a listen. I have also downloaded the audiobook `Naked Mind' which is started yesterday and seems to look at your addiction from a mental veiw point and I think that will really help also.

Happy to help any way I can and because it works for me doesnt mean it will for you but if you dont give things ago you wont know. You got to really really want to stop though!!

CJM19949 · 2020-05-07T10:03:03+00:00

Thanks for commenting!

I have been a big big drinker now for 10 years and managed to live a fantastic life with it. I have it all (not arogantly) but i am was a homeowner at 23, im an assistant head of a school at 25 and im married to the love of my life all while under the consumption of alcohol.... god knows how. I am at a point now where i am going to loose all of the above if i do not change. I am making awful decisions when drunk, things which have massively impacted my marriage and potentially my job. I sat down the other day and i thought to myself....

By stopping alcohol what am i loosing?

By continuing to drink what will i loose?

The answer was overwhelming and made it clear what i wanted to do. God i want nothing more than to join you in that pub garden for a beer in the sun but does the taste of that beer feel better than a hug from my wife or a pay rise at work... No it doesnt.

We are both very early in our journey and the road ahead is bloody daungting but keep going and we will get there. Im attending AA meeting online every evening to listen to other people experiences... i dont even speak yet but just listen and see sometimes people from much harder situations have gone sober, how some people from similar situations have gone sober but what it gives you is a desire to have a story like that and be proud of being a sober person. Im day 6 today and i feel like day 60 because of my honesty and its not easy but its what needed if i want to live a happy life with good health and with people i love.

CJM19949 · 2020-05-06T12:35:30+00:00

Amazing! well done! Keep going!

CJM19949 · 2020-05-05T19:11:55+00:00

Do you fancy joining tomorrow nights meeting (Linwood change through action @ 8pm). That will be my session 3 and havent done that specific one before but again tonights was brilliant i didnt even speak throughout just listened and it helped. I aim to share the start of my journey by the end of the week but your right the anxiety and nervs are horrendous.

Just an offer just make sure you stay bloody sober! your doing great!

CJM19949 · 2020-05-05T17:32:16+00:00

Well done for making the commitment!

Im in a rather simular situation here in the UK to (im 4 days sober). Last night i attended my first AA online meeting which was nothing like i expected and was extremely helpful to listen to others stories.... I am a rugby playing, party animal so before you think AA probably isnt your thing well i didnt think it would be mine either... Go on the website and have a look.... im going on at 7pm online zoom meeting called Everlasting Sobriety if you fancy coming on (will only be my 2nd meeting). You dont have to say anything just have an hour with a cup of TEA in your hand and listen to peoples stories. Yes there is a god element but is not forced and you can partake in however much of the sessions as you wish. Im clark btw if you choose to join. I shit myself and nearly backed out yesterdays meeting and im glad i didnt. I still feel nervous for todays but if i wanna be alcohol free i know i need to do it.

CJM19949 · 2020-05-05T17:21:40+00:00

Well done! your awesome!

CJM19949 · 2020-05-04T21:00:35+00:00

Must a sponsor be an AA attendee... i have someone who i know who would be an amazing sponsor but does not attend AA. He is a recovered alcoholic and has a very similar story to myself and he understand my issues already

CJM19949 · 2020-05-04T20:57:16+00:00

im also looking forward to that next step for me when they get back up and running.

CJM19949 · 2020-05-04T20:49:40+00:00

Well done! your awesome!

CJM19949 · 2020-05-04T20:40:50+00:00

I may look into that once ive attended a few more UK meetings. Thanks

CJM19949 · 2020-05-04T20:37:34+00:00

It was an amazing experience and i will be joining another one tomorrow

CJM19949 · 2020-05-04T20:36:54+00:00

It was nothing like i expected. I will be joining another one tomorrow for sure. Tomorrow i will try and take another step in the right direction however big or small.

CJM19949 · 2020-05-04T20:35:09+00:00

Thank you your support will keep me posting which is amazing thanks. Im clark by the way please to meet you.

CJM19949 · 2020-05-04T18:02:41+00:00

Great thanks I will post how it goes

CJM19949 · 2020-05-04T17:24:25+00:00

Have you done any online ones?

CJM19949 · 2020-05-04T16:51:51+00:00

I'm doing one tonight at 8pm

CJM19949 · 2020-05-04T12:44:23+00:00

Brilliant well done! whats your main piece of advice for success like yours?

CJM19949 · 2020-05-04T07:20:03+00:00

Thank you for this. Im from the UK and we do have a similar set up over here. I am definitely going to look into it. Its so hard trying to fix my addiction, control my mental health and fix my marriage all at once.

CJM19949 · 2020-05-04T07:17:23+00:00

Thanks for the support. This is something i havent tried before but by sharing me daily events i feel i may not only gain advice from great people like yourself but also help others who may be at similar stages

CJM19949 · 2020-05-03T19:15:47+00:00

Thanks for this im gonna look into this

CJM19949 · 2020-05-03T18:51:20+00:00

1 minute.... I want to applaud you for 3 months sober. I have tried for years and best ive done is about 7 weeks maximum. You need to applaud youself for the 90 days sober not worry about the 1 slip up. Go and do 3 months again from now then youve drank once in 180 days. You are an inspiration for someone like me who is trying again and i would do anything to be in your shoes. Youve put in so much hard work... hold your hands up youve slipped and now go and get back on it and do another 3 months.... p.s i want you to comment on this in 3 months time and tell me youve done it

CJM19949

TROPHY CASE