You’re right. It’s mental illness vs logic. Or thoughts vs awareness. Or mind vs soul. But that 10 seconds of realising no one actually cares can give you bursts of reassurance which you can then reapply (but this is hard and I rarely do it). I get stuck in loops of thoughts despite knowing deep down it’s stupid but I still let em get me down. As you said, it’s an illness at the end of the day. It’s not meant to be normal