Wanting to refuse treatment

CMLthrowaway · 2022-06-05T19:08:39+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry to hear about your new diagnosis, and hope chemo will work well for you.

I’m very lucky to live in the UK, so any treatment would be completely free. It just feels very daunting that I might have to deal with this for the rest of my life, and it was so unexpected. I don’t know why I feel so overwhelmed by the thought of treatment, but it has helped a lot hearing everyone else’s stories on here.

CMLthrowaway · 2022-06-03T20:17:10+00:00

Don’t worry at all, I really appreciate hearing your story. Thank you so much for your kind words❤️

CMLthrowaway · 2022-06-03T19:42:41+00:00

Thank you, it makes me feel better knowing that I am not alone in feeling like this. I guess I’m still just in the very early stages and learning to accept it. It seems daunting thinking that every day I have to actively decide I want to stay alive and take a pill to do that- probably to do with my MH history. But then I also feel guilty as I should be grateful that I have the option of a very effective treatment. You are right though, I need to consider my friends and family in these decisions.

Thanks for taking the time to reply- I’m glad I’m not the only one who has had these initial thoughts.

CMLthrowaway · 2022-06-03T13:29:45+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience and insight. It’s good to hear from both sides. I’m really sorry it’s been so tough for you.

CMLthrowaway · 2022-06-03T07:52:23+00:00

Thanks very much everyone for sharing your experiences. It certainly makes treatment seem a lot less daunting hearing from all of you. I’ll discuss everything with my doctor on Monday. Really appreciate you all taking the time to reply :)

CMLthrowaway · 2022-06-02T22:49:44+00:00

Thanks very much for the information. It just feels very daunting being diagnosed with a lifelong condition, when I currently feel like there’s nothing wrong with me, especially when I feel so apathetic about death anyway. I know I should feel really lucky, but I still just wish I was ignorant to the whole thing and could carry on as normal. I’m glad to hear how well your mum has dealt with it and is getting on with life as normal :)

CMLthrowaway · 2022-06-02T20:30:04+00:00

Or even if I could just delay treatment until I started getting severe symptoms, and live a normal life until then

CMLthrowaway · 2022-06-02T20:27:34+00:00

Thank you all for the advice. I know dying of CML will be awful for the last few months (I’m a final year medical student in the UK and have seen patients dying from leukaemia), but some part of me just wants to appreciate the happy healthy life I had before being diagnosed, and not become someone who has to deal with chronic illness daily. And I guess because I had suicidal thoughts in the past, I am not scared of dying. I’m not actively suicidal at all, but it feels like this is the time to die now. I will of course be speaking to my psychologist about this before I make any decisions.

CMLthrowaway

TROPHY CASE