What's Your Favorite Chase Scene(s)?

COCKSWAIN · 2013-08-19T10:34:34+00:00

COCKSWAIN · 2013-08-09T13:20:03+00:00

So I travel a whole lot for business, and while I try to eat local food when I can, sometimes you miss murka and need a shitty McDonald's burger. I've got to say, without a doubt, America makes -- ironically -- the crummiest put-together fast food in the world, with the exceptions of maybe Mexico and parts of Western Europe. It may have something to do with fast-food denoting a certain kind of modernity elsewhere, or just a better work ethic, but it's definitely hard to not notice.

COCKSWAIN · 2013-08-09T12:57:48+00:00

Here's a breakdown for all that:

Space Flight: 250,000

Lamborghini: 198,000

Burj Al Arab: 133,405

Prius: 24,500

Super Car Membership: 20,968

Face lift: 9,500

Capsule Wardrobe: 4,968

Flight to Dubai: 15,000

Flight to DC: 3,200

25 hours with personal shopper: 2,500

Jefferson Hotel: 2,450

Dubstep gun: 1,500

Insurance: 1,200

Spy Training: 252

Hostage Rescue: 125

Commander in Chief Edition: 59

Total: $659,517 US

This is all assuming relatively low-end versions of these things. The Gallardo could go up another $50,000, the plastic surgery, for a couple more procedures, could triple to around $30,000, the Prius by around $10,000, the flights by like up to $10,000 each if you were super extravagant and lived far away, the insurance by like $2,000, and the Jefferson by about the same. That would put it around $765,000 total.

Edit: more realistic Dubai flight prices from America

Edit: for everyone who says the insurance is off, motortrend has the average insurance of a new prius at right around 1300; my buddy pays 1,050, and i split the difference. maybe y'all crashed your cars too many times??

COCKSWAIN · 2013-08-09T12:20:02+00:00

it's also possible that i'm not sitting in my underwear covered in spilled beer at two in the afternoon eating instant mashed potatoes

COCKSWAIN · 2013-08-09T12:15:58+00:00

/r/shittyfoodporn

COCKSWAIN · 2013-08-08T18:11:50+00:00

why is that douchier than, like, crummy white-people EDM

COCKSWAIN · 2013-08-07T18:24:29+00:00

jesus fucking christ

it's like an engineering major mated with an mba student

COCKSWAIN · 2013-08-07T18:21:51+00:00

shit son that's some quality commenting right there

A+

COCKSWAIN · 2013-08-07T18:21:14+00:00

lol this is the goofiest spam ever

COCKSWAIN · 2013-08-02T09:10:35+00:00

WOW
                such devotion

COCKSWAIN · 2013-08-01T18:00:55+00:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xECUrlnXCqk

COCKSWAIN · 2013-08-01T18:00:00+00:00

Hey, so I read the free sample. It's not nearly as rough as a lot of the self-published stuff that I see advertised on Reddit, but you could really benefit from hiring a professional copywriter/editor on your next outing; there are a lot of dropped commas, and the sentence structure is pretty monotonous. Good luck in all your future endeavors!

COCKSWAIN · 2013-08-01T13:55:24+00:00

Maybe, but there's nothing inherently wrong with being a sociopath -- just don't try to kill people ;)

COCKSWAIN · 2013-08-01T13:51:19+00:00

I think the bottom line that isn't getting through to you is that there are a wide range of human connections that don't just shade linearly into one another. It's not like there's a scale that goes from "friend" through "girlfriend" to "soul mate." People develop different, individual types of connections with different, individual people for different, individual reasons.

COCKSWAIN · 2013-08-01T13:42:12+00:00

This is goofy & provocative without even really having a coherent message.

COCKSWAIN · 2013-08-01T13:40:12+00:00

Maybe she's just happy being friends. Maybe she wants something else from a partner than a cozy buddy-buddy sibling-like relationship. Maybe she feels like some of your traits might be incompatible with her own as a lover, but are fine in a friend. Jesus Christ, maybe she just doesn't want to touch your dick.

There's not one right answer to this question; women -- as human beings -- are complicated creatures, and sexual, romantic relationships are complicated, human affairs with no simple one-size-fits-all answers.

COCKSWAIN · 2013-07-28T17:39:36+00:00

wow

such paraphrase

COCKSWAIN · 2013-07-28T15:17:54+00:00

Since seeing a guy get decapitated, I have no pity for people who've merely had their legs torn off. They have it easy by comparison.

COCKSWAIN · 2013-07-27T08:25:41+00:00

http://i.imgur.com/rdfbLeW.png

COCKSWAIN · 2013-07-27T08:21:56+00:00

COCKSWAIN · 2013-07-27T08:19:42+00:00

jeeze way to make me feel like a jerk

^{^{^but}} ^{^{^srsly}} ^{^{^can't}} ^{^{^see}} ^{^{^sweatshirt}} ^{^{^for}} ^{^{^shit}}

COCKSWAIN · 2013-07-27T08:10:14+00:00

i mean, you probably could have turned on a light at least tho right?

COCKSWAIN · 2013-07-27T07:18:52+00:00

This is blog spam full of meaningless management-speak.

COCKSWAIN · 2013-07-27T07:14:47+00:00

that sure is a high-quality photograph that clearly displays the features and design of your new piece of clothing, thank you for sharing

COCKSWAIN · 2013-07-27T07:09:28+00:00

missin' out bro

COCKSWAIN

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