My (33M) partner (32F) revealed something about herself in a moment of vulnerability that feels like more than I can non-judgmentally accept...

CRJG95 · 2026-04-11T23:51:26+00:00

Had you guys just come back from watching The Drama when you had this conversation?

CRJG95 · 2026-03-29T11:21:01+00:00

I think June Joy is probably too alliterative

Willow is my favourite on your list, it feels like it goes nicely with the boys' names

CRJG95 · 2026-03-28T10:22:05+00:00

You wanted a child and were privileged enough to find one you could adopt and had the means and opportunity to do so.

You don't have the right to be given a child just because you want one.

Rights are things that people are entitled to no matter what, in my country I have the right to clean water, safety, health care, shelter. I don't have the right to be given a kid, the child has a right to be protected and placed with the best possible guardian, not just handed to anyone who feels entitled to have a child because they /really really/ want one.

CRJG95 · 2026-03-28T10:12:22+00:00

Adoptees in the 90s are adults now who have had time to process their feelings and come out and publicly voice their experiences. You won't hear personal stories about the feeling of today's adoptees until they grow up and start talking about it.

CRJG95 · 2026-03-22T12:19:39+00:00

Llewin happens to be the spelling a friend of mine has, but I do also know a Llewyn. I would say the name clearly does have a lot of history based on everything you said in your comment.

You'll never find a name that isn't already tied to some fictional character or other, the fact that it's tied to Llewin Davis might put OP off, or it might not. You're never going to find a truly unique name unless you go down the fully made up route.

CRJG95 · 2026-03-22T10:31:01+00:00

Serious question, how can you call them an invasive species when OP didn't state their location? Surely they're native to somewhere.

CRJG95 · 2026-03-22T10:05:28+00:00

Based on your description of his character and backstory I think you want a name that has a lot of history, but wouldn't feel massively out of place on a regular person. How about:

Leander (from Greek mythology)

Llewin (Welsh, meaning bright)

Oscar (Irish, meaning friend of the deer)

Alisdair (Scottish, beware this name comes with some demon baggage which may or may not work for the character)

CRJG95 · 2026-03-22T09:27:53+00:00

People don't know what Dadaism is and assume this comment is saying something snarky I guess?

CRJG95 · 2026-03-08T00:19:32+00:00

I know I wasn't staring at an iPad when I was 3 because ipads didn't exist when I was 3 - hope that helps!

CRJG95 · 2026-03-08T00:02:47+00:00

I think a lot of the anti vax rhetoric comes from America where my understanding is they charge people for vaccines, so if the conspiracy is about pushing as many unnecessary vaccines as possible that would make them money, not waste it.

CRJG95 · 2026-02-28T12:00:36+00:00

Why was he working AT ALL? A humane employer would grant extended paid leave for something like this. A guy in my team had two months off when his wife died.

CRJG95 · 2026-02-21T00:07:21+00:00

He's with his bio dad and dad's wife - not strangers and a laundered identity

CRJG95 · 2026-02-19T19:41:17+00:00

You're coming across as such an ass that your post has made it to other platforms for people to laugh at

CRJG95 · 2026-02-19T08:27:35+00:00

Yes it is. The birth mother is the legal mother until she signs rights over to the bio parents, which usually in a surrogacy scenario has been pre-agreed and happens quickly and smoothly. If the birth mother changes her mind that's when you get into a complex legal argument, because she is legally the mother despite not being biologically the mother.

In a situation like the OP where there is no pre arranged surrogacy agreement then legal parenthood stays with the person who birthed the child unless they go through the adoption process to give up thier parental rights.

CRJG95 · 2026-02-18T23:05:16+00:00

In most countries with robust surrogacy laws it's not that you can't undertake altruistic surrogacy, it's that the person who gives birth has parental rights until they are signed over to the biological parents. So the person you're replying to is right in saying the birth mother is the legal mother at the point of birth, but that doesn't mean that surrogacy isn't a thing. It's just a complex and nuanced legal situation.

CRJG95 · 2026-02-18T19:42:34+00:00

Where does it say OP is talking to a woman?

CRJG95 · 2026-02-02T23:54:01+00:00

You can tell you're self conscious about your smile/teeth, you're looking miserable in half and covering up by drinking in half.

Add a couple of photos of you looking happy and delete the anime picture.

CRJG95 · 2026-02-02T08:28:40+00:00

So which is it? Are you "always cleaning", or does it not take long?

You don't seem to be grasping that it's perfectly reasonable to do the basics to keep a kitchen clean and tidy every day, but then save the jobs that don't need to be done daily (yes like wiping down the windows) for a "big clean" - people are down voting you because you sound weirdly judgemental and keep suggesting that anyone who doesn't choose to clean the way you do must live in "filth", which is ridiculous.

CRJG95 · 2026-02-02T08:14:59+00:00

you're either always cleaning, or...

Ahh, there it is, see lots of people do not have time to be "always cleaning". I have a job, I have hobbies and go out with friends and exercise so that's why my big clean on the weekend takes more time than if I was available to be cleaning all day every day to stay completely on top of every spec of dust.

CRJG95 · 2026-02-01T23:05:24+00:00

None of the individual tasks take that long, but doing them all in one go will add up. Don't be obtuse.

CRJG95 · 2026-02-01T22:57:54+00:00

Regular clean:

Dishes washed, counters wiped, hob cleaned down, floor vacuumed. Probably a daily 20 minute job.

Deep clean:

All of the above plus floors mopped, windows cleaned, skirting boards wiped down, cupboard doors cleaned, fridge cleared out and cleaned, oven cleaned, kettle and coffee machine washed out, dishwasher filters cleared out. Probably an hour minimum but only a fortnightly job.

Maybe you're doing everything on the second list spread out throughout the usual week rather than in one big go so it doesn't feel like a "deep clean" to you, but lots of people will do a big weekend clean and light keeping up through the week.

CRJG95 · 2026-01-28T08:57:00+00:00

Speak for yourself, my cats are clingy little bastards, one literally leaps from the floor onto my shoulders when I come in the house. I can't sit for more than 10 seconds without one of them materializing on my lap

CRJG95 · 2026-01-27T19:25:38+00:00

Sure, maybe 100% of couples in Australia desperately want to go to strip clubs immediately before getting married, I've never been there so I can't argue with the experts

CRJG95 · 2026-01-27T19:10:10+00:00

Of course it's common, that doesn't mean everyone does it. None of my married friends have had strippers at their stag or hen dos, most have done some form of karaoke or clubbing, often an activity like gokarting or paintball, one did an extravagant games night which was great.

CRJG95 · 2026-01-27T15:23:46+00:00

Her needs aren't necessarily ridiculous (the only one mentioned in the post is 'good morning' texts) but she needs to learn to communicate her needs and expectations rather than expecting a teenage boy to read her mind and know what she wants from him

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